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Parenting

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Original poster

It's not that unusual for a boy not to be toilet trained at 2 1/2 is it?

39 replies

Nettee · 27/09/2007 15:11

I took DS to preschool for the first time today as they take children from 2 1/2. At the end the leader said to me that she noticed that he was still in pull ups and what was I thinking of doing about it? I said that the lady who used to be in charge had told me that this would be ok and that as I have just had a baby I didn't think it would be the ideal time to start potty training. She hummed and harred and looked at her policy and eventually said that it might be ok if I stayed with DS or if he only stayed for short sessions. I left feeling thoroughly told off and miserable. There must be lots of children in the same situation surely we are not that far behind. If they say they take them from this age they must surely expect it or clearly state that they won't have them untrained. I don't know what to do now. He did seem so little compared to the others there - maybe we should leave it for another six months and send him back when he is 3. The sessions are only 2 1/2 hours anyway so he probably wouldn't need a nappy change in this time and if he did they could always phone me - maybe I should suggest that. DS just isn't interested in the potty or loo yet - he likes pants but just wets them without noticing. I really don't think he is ready.

OP posts:

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hunkermunker · 27/09/2007 15:12

Fucking woman.

Is it an Ofsted registered place?

Original poster

Nettee · 27/09/2007 15:13

should be it is part of the local village primary school

OP posts:

preggersagain · 27/09/2007 15:15

if its sposies then not unusual for them to still be in em at 4 washables average age is before 2.

most will still take littley's in nappies- ours will do if nescessary but they do encourage the kids to be trained and they won't take any part in actually potty training.

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Marne · 27/09/2007 15:16

Alot of pre-schools wont let children atend until they are dry, have you thought about sending him to a nursery?

Dd is still not fully toilet traine, she uses a potty but not the toilet (she's 3.7). Dd goes to a nursery, they are ok about her using the potty.

TheBlonde · 27/09/2007 15:16

Mine is still untrained at 2.5yrs

Preschool change him if required

Mercy · 27/09/2007 15:17

Nettee - I know of a playgroup which took children from 2 - and the staff refused to change nappies or let them use a potty. Which is why ds never went.

But to answer your OP, not remotely unusual. ds was just over 3 when we started the training.

hunkermunker · 27/09/2007 15:18

Then they're not allowed to discriminate.

Will he get funding when he's three? That's how you'd be able to tell, free sessions!

It's not uncommon for children to be in nappies this long (and longer!).

motherinferior · 27/09/2007 15:19

DD1 was in nappies till she was getting on for three.

(Then she got the hang of the loo over a weekend. Highly to be recommended!)

Carotte · 27/09/2007 15:22

All th pre-schools/playschools that we've been to have had that policy as well.

Original poster

Nettee · 27/09/2007 15:23

hmm - they said something about taking 3 year olds in nappies if necessary - maybe that was related to the ofsted thing.

OP posts:

Carotte · 27/09/2007 15:30

But I know people have struggled to get it done by the time they started. I would have thought 2.5 was quite early to be completely trained potty trained.

Ds1 was, but this was because I went to Thailand and he went with dh to stay at Grandma's and I came back to him eing 'dry'. I was furious.

mummyfixit · 27/09/2007 15:54

My DS started using the toilet this week (so so proud of him) Monday and Tuesday were awful - he kept wetting himself. Wednesday he cracked it - no mess or wetting himself, did everything on the toilet. So proud of him [grin} (again)- he is 2.10. We tried him earlier but he just was not interested.

MonkeyandBabyBoo · 27/09/2007 16:35

The preschool my DS goes to takes LO's from age 2 (he started at 2.2) and they are fully aware that most kids are not potty trained by 2 or 3 for that matter. They are more than happy to change nappies and are brilliant at assisting with potty training.

If your DS's preschool are not happy to be changing nappies then they shouldn't be accepting children from such a young age as most kids I know haven't been potty trained until they are nearly 3.

BTW, my DS started potty training at 2.8 of his own choice, he asked us one day to 'wear pants like daddy' so I knew he was ready and he got the hang of it really quickly. Go with your instinct on when to start and ignore the stupid woman.

Fennel · 27/09/2007 20:36

Our preschool, attached to the primary school, changes lots of nappies. dd3 was in nappies til 2 3/4 and then only came out cos pre-school suggested it, she still had endless accidents and was utterly useless til 3 1/4. Preschool was fine with it. Though, unsurprisingly, rather relieved that she eventually got it cracked.

wheelybug · 27/09/2007 20:41

dd is 2.8 and refuses point blank to potty train. She is at pre-school and they change a poo. They are completely relaxed about potty training (and in fact, my friend got a telling off because her dd is potty trained but wasn't pulling her own pants up and down but me they were fine with !).

Tommy · 27/09/2007 20:44

not unusual at all - DS1 was dry the week before he was 3 and DS2 was 2.10

IIRC, equal opps policy don't let pre schools make this rule anymore. I could be completely wrong. DS1 certainly went to pre school at 2.9 in pull-ups and they didn't have a problem with it at all

coppertop · 27/09/2007 21:00

Pre-schools are no longer allowed to discriminate like this. Have a look at the info on this continence policy here.

NappiesGalore · 28/09/2007 23:38

was just about to post that they are required by law to change nappies and not discriminate now... not that i had a shiney link to back it up or owt... well done coppertop

MegaVegLech · 28/09/2007 23:38

nope. then it took ds 3 days to crack it.

denbury · 28/09/2007 23:47

we started ben during the summer off 2006 when he was just over 2 .5 years by christmas 2004 he was daytime day and by easter 2007 he was night time dry, but he asked asked everyway step off the way.james who nearly2 is a loong way off but i don't care. they all all have there own way(mind you we are lucky to have j as he had open heart sueg when he was 5 months old)

edam · 29/09/2007 00:07

Ds wasn't trained until after he was three.

Nappies and Coppertop are right, nurseries/pre schools/whatever they call themselves are not allowed to get away with this any more, it's against the Disability Discrimination Act.

Original poster

Nettee · 30/09/2007 14:45

thanks everyone. shame we have to quote the disability discrimination act when potty training later is within the normal range. I am still undecided about whether to make a fuss or just not send him yet or ever!

OP posts:

NAB3 · 30/09/2007 14:54

Go somewhere else.

kinki · 30/09/2007 15:14

Ds2 is 2.7, still in nappies and just started pre-school. They won't change him, they'll phone me to come and change it if he poos, but I'm happy with that.

After the first day they suggested sending him in in pull-ups so that he didn't feel left out when they did the toilet run with the other kiddies. So although he's not ready to try just pants yet he's enjoying being like the big kids having a go sitting on the loo.

It should be about inclusion, not discrimination.

yaddayah · 30/09/2007 15:17

ds was nearly 3

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