The last five years of my life have been both the best and the worst.
I have step by step lost my entire support network and family - in 2015 my uncle died of cancer, then in 2016 my grandad was diagnosed with the same cancer whilst my nana developed alzheimers. They both passed away within a month of each other at the end of 2017. In March of this year my mum, the last member of my close family and my absolute best friend, was diagnosed with cancer. She passed away in May.
I am a broken woman.
What I need for my mental health is a fresh start. I’m very lucky in that my mum, god rest her soul, left me a fair bit of money. Enough that I can buy a house and raise my children in some security.
There’s been a lot on my partners side too, he walked away from his abusive mother and severed that relationship entirely.
We find ourselves entire adrift and hating our home town with its stifling memories and ghosts everywhere.
However I have twins with my ex husband, they’re nearly 11.
What I want to do is high tail it out of Wales and settle somewhere central. I crave city life, opportunities, education - I want to say goodbye to my small town roots, take this chance and run with it. I want to be an author and I want to move in circles that make that possible - where I can put the books I’ve written before people who matter and carve a life and career for myself.
I want memories in places I’ve never even seen yet.
I want my kids to have the world at their feet instead of staying And dying in the same small town as every other member of my family has.
But my ambition is tempered by my absolute terror that no matter the concessions I make, my ex won’t allow me to move. He’s already stated his terms, I can’t live anywhere that he can’t walk to.
What I want to know, I suppose, is whether anybody has any experience with this? Am I legally allowed to move? I’m never going to stop the kids seeing him, I will deliver them to him and collect them for the sake of them seeing their dad (though it might not be possible to do this every other Saturday night as he has now). I am willing to forego maintenance for him to have the money to travel or learn to drive. I am willing to go to any length to make this work - but if it comes down to the wire, and I cannot appease him, is it pointless me dreaming?