Is this PND?

[Hodge85]

Hi,

I gave birth 17 days ago and my emotions have been up and down ever since. I've cried nearly every day and I feel awful as my thoughts mainly consist of "I've ruined my life" and I feel like I'm grieving my pre-baby life. Don't get me wrong I love my baby but I keep getting upset and today is the first day I'm on my own with him as my DH has gone back to work and I'm just sitting here crying as I couldn't figure out why my baby was getting upset. My DH is sleeping in the spare room so he gets sleep for work but it's been me and baby for a solid 12 hours in our bedroom noe. He's finally asleep and I can't stop crying. I'm beginning to worry about my mental health. Is this normal?

Hi OP, I didn't want to read and run. It's very hard at the beginning. Your emotions are bound to be all over the place. It's a shock to the system. Whether it's pnd or not I don't think we can say. Could you contact your midwife, health visitor or gp and talk it through? Take care and this stage will pass xx

They really don't prepare you for those first weeks - I think I cried every day for the first 6 weeks or so! Sometimes it's just being overwhelmed and hormones, sometimes it's more than that. It's probably worth a chat with your HV or midwife if you've not been signed off yet.

I found things like splitting the evening with my DH really helped - he'd take the baby after we eaten dinner so I could have a shower or bath and go to bed early so I could at least have a couple of hours sleep. There were some days when I'd just have a pj day and would just veg on the sofa and others where we'd have a few errands to run, even if it was just getting a loaf of bread or posting a letter, I've always felt better for getting dressed, up and out but I know not everyone is like that.

It's not PND right now, it's normal emotions and stress of being 17 days post partum and looking after a newborn baby.

What support do you have? Have you joined the MN bus for your birth month? Do you have friends or family you can call for support?

Definitely re think the division of labour with DH, it's his baby too. You should not be left to struggle for 12 hours on your own if he is physically there.

Think of it as a period of adjustment, rather than there being something wrong with you. You will need to keep discussing the balance as a team and what he can do to support you. Keep posting we are here for you.

Please speak to your health visitor about how you are feeling. This doesnt sound very normal at all.
I was like this at the start of my PND.

I’m just going to repeat what other people have said but definitely talk to your HV or GP. If it is PND they’ll be able to help and if it isn’t they can reassure you at least.

Definitely get your husband to help during the night. I know he has to go to work but you have to work 24/7 minding baby. If you’re BF he can still help with nappy changes and settling in the night so you can feed and go back to sleep.

I always found getting out of the house for a walk to be helpful at that stage if you feel up to it. I would pack the changing bag the night before to make getting out easier/faster and aim to have one of baby’s naps outside and it helped massively.

Wishing you all the best x

Nobody here can possibly say if it is or not, please speak to your HV or GP

Didn’t want to read and run. Please speak to midwife or GP as soon as possible. It’s easy to hope it will be fine and not seek help, acceptance of one is always hard.

I left it for 18 months before I thought to see someone and it was the best decision of my life. The sooner you get help the better.

Best wishes to you and your baby xx

Meant to say acceptance of PND*