My 3 year old son is scared of our newborn

[Slackerdad]

Hi
We have a 3 year old boy who refuses to be even in the same room as our newborn. To start with he was ok with our new baby being in the same room as long as he wasn't crying but in the last 2 weeks even when the baby is silent he tells us to take the baby upstairs.

I'm a stay at home dad so he spends lots of time with me whilst my wife also trys to spend at least an hour of one on one time. We've tried to include him in baby stuff and continue to give him lots of attention. But he just plain refuses. Our newborn is now 1 month old and we understand it can take time but rather than progress he seems to be getting worse.

I'm really hoping someone who can help with this or has had something similar happen has some advice.

Amad

I don’t think he’s scared of the baby...

He just liked it better when it was just his mum and dad and him. His whole world has changed and it’s going to take him some time to adjust.

agree with pp, sounds like he just doesnt like having this new person in the house , which is understandable for a 3 yo. he'll come round. i had to give mine little jobs to be a great big brother, or so helpful, etc for a while then he was really proud of himself.

Echo what Ninkanink has said completely. Like any major change it takes time to adjust.

It will improve when he starts doing things. DN hated DS until he started to move and play.

He needs time. Agree with others, he's not scared of the baby. Jealous and unsure is closer to it.

If you're both at home at the moment, I'd really recommend splitting off so that one of you totally focuses on your eldest and the other on the baby. DH took our eldest out for days out with a big focus on 'going out to have fun' while I stayed at home 'being boring' with his baby brother. I don't think there is any harm in letting him play in a different room with one of you if you have the space. Chances are you'll want to do that soon anyway because the baby will get disturbed and distracted by noise more. My youngest did from about six weeks.

He will come around. My two are so close now, we had a two year age gap by the way.

Thank you everyone. Probably right scared isn't the best word to use
I think we'll just have to be patient but it's very reassuring to know it'll improve..even if it is slowly