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What age did you get dc their first phone?

7 replies

drownininplaymobil · 05/07/2020 22:29

We always said that we would get dd her first phone for her 11th birthday, to coincide with her being allowed to get the bus to school by herself. She has never asked for a phone because she knows that this is the plan. I am however starting to wonder if we should get her one sooner.
I know she would absolutely love to be able to message her friends/Grandparents/cousins. She has asked if she can start playing Roblox so that she can chat to her friends on there (she hasn't seen any of them during lockdown other than the occasional zoom). We have said no because we aren't comfortable with the security of Roblox and she just said ok and hasn't mentioned it since. She has worked so bloody hard during lockdown and would be over-the-moon if we got her a phone as a kind of 'well done'.
The only thing that holds me back I think is her tendency to be drawn to screens. She's not an outdoorsy child at all and would quite happily stare at a telly/ipad all day if she could.
What do you think? Too young? Should we? She's 9.5yo at the moment.

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BackforGood · 05/07/2020 23:44

All of mine got them in time to start secondary.
So one got it for 11th birthday (a Summer birthday) and the 2 x Autumn Birthday got them as early 12th birthday presents.

Pipandmum · 05/07/2020 23:47

StaRt of Y7 seemed to be when most kids I know got phones.

Rubyandsaphire · 05/07/2020 23:52

All for their 11th birthday in time for secondary school (mine all have birthdays later on in the school year).

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londonscalling · 06/07/2020 02:26

High school! I think you may go on to REALLY regret letting her have one earlier!

HathorX · 06/07/2020 03:50

My DD age 9.5 has had a phone for years, as it was cheaper to give her an old iPhone than get her a camera. Last year we put wifi on her phone so she can Facetime grandparents and cousins.

During lockdown, we have set her up with Skype too and she chats with her friends 7 days a week in group calls often whilst playing Roblox with them. It is the highlight of her day, and to be honest mine too, as it is lovely listening to them chatter and giggle and play. We have set up limits on apps so she has to ask permission to use more time, and her devices turn off at night and won't work until morning.

Do I regret accelerating her phone use by a few years? Yes, sure. But far less than I would have regretted isolating her from her friends from March to August. Life is full of tough choices.

Just a month ago my OH decided to put a cheap SIM in her phone. The purpose for now is not to make calls, it is for emergency use and so we can track her - we have recently allowed her to cycle to the park on her own but we want her used to the idea that we always need to know where she is.

PS my DD is a very, very outdoorsy kid, and yet still would spend all day on screens if I did not encourage her to turn them off! Screen time is highly addictive. Never too young to teach them how to behave responsibly and how to turn the screen off and engage in real life.

HathorX · 06/07/2020 03:57

PS just to clarify "getting a phone " can just mean having a handset with home wifi access, which is no different to having access to an iPad. My DD tells everyone she has a phone - all her friends do too - what they mean is, they have a phone with some apps installed that works at home. If you set up an iCloud account with parental controls you have pretty strong control over that phone.

You just put rules around it, like anything else, supervise it, teach your child how to be safe etc. It's not as bad as TV, I would much prefer her playing imaginatively online with friends than vegging in front of some Netflix or YouTube drivel.

drownininplaymobil · 07/07/2020 11:27

Thanks everyone. We're going to have a think about the pros and cons and talk about it at the weekend. If we get her one, it will definitely not be a smart phone, just a standard mobile for calls and messages.

We'll have a think about what rules we want to have. I think I'm leaning more towards it to be honest. It will give me much more confidence letting her go to the park by herself too.

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