Following on from "embarrassing things your parents did"..... did anyone find bra-shopping with their mum to be a lovely, enjoyable, bonding experience? Cos I am still sweating decades later...

[welliemum]

There seemed to be a "bra-shopping" theme developing on the other thread but I didn't want to derail that.

My memories of bra-shopping aged 13:
We didn't go until everyone else in the class had a bra. And I was quite big of nork. "Oh, you don't need a bra yet". Er, yes, I did.

I was excruciatingly self-conscious which my Mum thought was silly. So she used to whip aside the curtains in the changing room, exposing me to the whole shop. On purpose

This was in mediaeval times before the invention of Bravissimo et al, so the only bras in my size were horrendous old-lady heavily engineered things. Cue Mum encouraging me to wear tiny vest tops when what I really wanted to wear was a spacesuit.

My Mum was - and is - completely lovely. How could she have got this so horrendously wrong that I'm still getting sweaty palms thinking about it now?

My classmates seemed to be so cool about it all and I just wanted the earth to swallow me up.

Please tell me you weren't cool about bras at that age and make me feel better

OMG my mum was the same. I was pretty flat chested so she kept refusing to let me buy a bra leading to the trauma of being the only vest-wearer in the changing room. Then when we finally went to buy a bra...OMG - she did the same whipping back of the changing curtains then when I protested exclaimed in a booming voice "Don't be such a ridiculous prude, you don't even have any breasts to be embarassed about!"

Like yours she's normally lovely but that episode is seared on my brain forwever .

Almost as bad was when she insisted on buying me one of those girdles that you hang old-fashioned looped sanitary towels from.

I have recounted my experience on the other thread...she didn't even want to buy me a new bra but attempted to buy me an old lady's one from a jumble sale (in a loud voice, in front of lots of people)

Once again, is very lovely normally.

Aaaaghh.... girdles and jumble sale bras... I'm in good company!

When I finally got fed up of being the only girl in the class who didn't have a bra, I plucked up courage to ask my mum if I could have a crop-top (remember them?). She replied that I'd only just had my hair cut and refused to discuss the matter further.

I was the last vest wearer too and then finally my mother bought me two bras. I don't remember the shopping experience so can't have been too bad.

Except that once she had done that - that was it. She was sort of expecting them to last me until I left home...!

I still cringe thinking about buying tampons whilst supermarket shopping with my mum

I was eased gently into bra shopping by mainly wearing those crop top thingies for the first few years...

My mum used to make me go to the chemist to buy her sanitary towels before I had started my periods!

I was very flat chested, clueless and very embarrassed. Mum took me shopping with my little sister and asked me what size I thought I was. I said '36D'. Cue parent and sibling howling with laughter while I stood there hot with shame. At 33 and one ds later, I'm still only 34B.

Mum and sis are wonderful, but they do still enjoy recounting this story to anyone who will listen.

I wasn't taken bra-shopping.

I was handed a couple of bras and was told 'I think it is about time you started to wear these' I was totally unprepared. Grabbed them and ran. Younger sister howling with laughter.

Suggestions:
-give teenage girl a few days notice
-tell her she can go and look at them in the shops with her friends first and report back which ones she likes
-then take her out yourself to make sure the right size is bought

My mother was brilliant, it has to be said. She wasn't ever very involved, and this was a good time to not be very involved, IMHO.

She left a bag full of assorted sized bras on my bed, and told me to give back the ones that were too small.

sanitary towels, she just left them in the chest in the bathroom and told me "read the instructions. Ask me if you need any help."

Underarm shaving well for such a porky and physically mature adolescent, it was a surp[rise for me that I got no underarm hair until I was nearly 18! I had been menstruating for 6 years by then!

Seriously, make the stuff available, make the instructions understandable, and leave them to it. I'd have DIED INSIDE if anyone had wanted to talk about my body - my body is MY business!

My Mum just ordered me a two back of 32As from the catalogue with the general assumption that they would fit me.

I don't remember going bra shopping as such, I think she just gave me some.

I do remember that I was perfectly happy in crop tops and she was desperately trying to encourage me to put my rapidly growing norkage into a bra I didn't wear anything for a long time, and for some reason don't recall feeling odd in the school changing rooms (they were probably all pointing and sniggering and I was just oblivious).

We go bra shopping together now - tis fun

Periods - my mum was similar to IMHO - bought up pretty much every kind in the shop, after my first month I announced that I HATED feeling like I was wearing a nappy, so she did the same with tampons

My Mum is generally lovely (but embarrassing, she still sings to herself as she's out shopping, and not quietly either). She gave me my first tampon because we were going swimming though, and I was desperately trying to insert it(turned out that my hymen was particularly strong, which explains a lot of my pre-virginity-losing tampon trouble) to a background of "are you ready yet, we're going to be late, are you ready yet?" and banging on the door. Helpful.

I can't remember the bra thing. I'm sure that I wasn't measured, but just handed some over though, as I would definitely have remembered her taking me shopping. It was bad enough at the best of times!

Do remember though that my Mum mis-timed the whole period talk, and that all the other girls in my class had found out and I was the only one left in ignorance. I wouldn't do that to DD. All the conversations that completely bemused me (and I was completely cut out of) suddenly made a lot of sense.

I remember the period talk in yr6 at school, don't really recall my mum doing one.

Wehn dd is of the age I will send her to Rigby and Peller and not embarrass her

never went bra shopping - she went and bought them for me.

i take dd. i think its embarrassing for her - but i'm a kind of "get over it your soft southerner" person. - so as soon as we are out of shop shes fine.

she nees to know what to look for - where to buy - what to take into consideration etc.

I was bought a bra by my Mum in an old-fashioned haberdashery shop when I was about 13 which I wore until it was thick with dirt (I was scared to let it go in the wash as I only had one so I didn't know what I was supposed to wear in the meantime). Mum noticed it was rather grubby one day and hoiked it off me in public saying 'oh you don't need it' and then she offered to buy me an old-fashioned (clean but used) bra from a jumble sale to wear until my nice teenage bra was clean again. I was totally humilated by all this and refused to even look at it. It didn't help that most of my family have big chests and I am not!! Cue comments about poached eggs and aspirins on ironing boards .

When I take my dd out for her first bra, we'll get her measured in a nice shop and she can pick out her own bras to wear.

My mum decided to take my dad along with us when I got my first bra ,they marched me into tammygirl and thye woman tried to emasure me on the shopfloor I was off up the escalater before she could get her tape measure out
I eventually got one from the catologue

not quite a mother daughter shopping trip.
but i went bra shopping in saudi arabia, aged about 18 or 18, so not young. couldnt find my size. so i asked the male sales assistant if they had my size. the bra's were all labeleed in french sizes or something i didnt understand.
he looked at me, and siand i wasnt that size, and should look for something smaller.
shot out of their pretty damn quick.

this was waudi arabia. i hope i dont need to explain the whole cultural thing to anyone?
after this episode, never ever bought a bra anywhere but marks and spencers till after i got married.

The thing is, I just know I'm going to embarrass my daughters when the time comes.

Of course I like to think that we'll have this fabulous relationship when they're 13 and discuss everything with no embarrassment. But I have a suspicion all mothers of sweet little girls think this and the 13-year-old reality is a bit different.

EXACTLY same experience as Liath. Spent months plucking up the courage to ask for a bra. Was like a game show in the changing room at school. Every week someone turned up wearing a bra till I was the last but two still wearing vest and pants sets. Finally asked her if I could have some and she refused saying I didnt need them. The horror of being the only one still in vests is still with me today. Obviously had nothing to put in them but it is a rite of passage isnt it? Will try so hard to get it right with my DD.

As for periods, at 13 my mum handed me some sanitary towels with hooks on the end and a pink elasticated belt to hang them on and left me to get on with it. Oh the terror of PE and if anyone would see the belt when getting changed!!! Bear in mind that this was the 80's and not the 50's with much more discreet products available.

I don't understand my mother. She tried to deal with all teenage related changes as if they were taboo and something to be embarrassed about.

I confess I was dying to be grown up and have a bra (and I was starting to need it!) but she refused. When she finally took the decision to do it she made it such a taboo of it that it felt as if she was initiating us in dark arts against her will. Felt very guilty or even dirty afterwards. She also kept me using 30A bras well into my teens because she was using 36B and there was no way I could need something bigger than her.

Karma is a wise thing though... My mother still insists in wearing 36B bras even when she is at least 2 stones heavier tham me (I use 36 c) and I have taken a special pleasure in taking her bra shopping, opening the curtains and not lowering my voice saying "But mum, I'm 36 c, there's no way you are also 36 c! should I bring a 40C? [evil cackling emoticon]

mine didn't even take me shopping but gave me some old ones of hers

cheapskate

AND she is totally flat chested and I really wasn't so they didn't fit

ooooooooh squirming at the memory

She also, when we had 'the talk' just said 'oh and you bleed every month, you know where from don't you?' Of course I said yes, but actually (Can't believe I'm typing this) I thought you bled from your nipples. I remember my cousin staying and me finding her tampons, and looking at one and wondering how you got it in, and envisaging great HOLES opening in my chest. And then being, understandably, quite nervous about the whole prospect

I will NOT do that to my DD!