How seriously to take Covid right now with baby?

[applestrudels]

I'd just like some honest experiences, no judgement of me or other people...

My baby was born during lockdown and is now nearing 10 weeks old and still hasn't met my mum.

While I was pregnant and when she was first born we took social distancing VERY seriously (washing our groceries and everything). But now that lockdown is easing and she's a little bit older we are starting to see friends and relatives. We had a socially-distanced meet up in the garden with the in-laws when that was first allowed, and are seeing my dad this weekend.

My mum is obviously desperate to meet the baby but various things have added up to mean she hasn't yet. And now to top it off she works in a school and she's had to go back to now for the next three weeks, so now she's saying she now wants to wait until the August so she can self-isolate for two weeks before seeing the baby (it's 250 miles away from us so if we visit we'd have to stay in her small house for a couple of days and she's worried about picking up the virus at school and passing it onto the baby).

But the more I talk to people the more it seems like everyone is seeing their family now, and loads of my new "mum friends" with babies the same age have older kids who are in school anyway, so is all this caution really necessary? I'm just starting to feel a bit depressed now as if we're being mugs, and we're the only ones being careful at the moment - or is anyone else still being very careful?

tldr: should I take my 10 week old baby to see my mum next weekend even though she works in a school with kids who are incapable of social distancing?

In my opinion you are doing the right thing to keep your family safe. The long term side effects of covid 19 are worrying.

I don’t know the answer but I’m following.

I have many new mum friends now letting grandparents and siblings hold baby but I haven’t taken the plunge yet. We’ve met family in the garden but that’s it.

I have no idea what to do. Baby is 17 weeks old now and I worry we’re hindering his social development but then at the same time I want to keep him healthy.

I really don’t know what to do and until I do I’m saying no. But I do want to.

DS is 16 weeks, brought him home 2 days before lockdown and hadn’t met anyone. I was struggling with my MH as he was my first and we had a really difficult start with him. As he was growing bigger I felt so upset that all he knew was me and his dad and our house ... and the GP surgery. TBH I still get upset when I think of everything he missed and I missed.

He has now had a cuddle with my sister, parents, in laws and my nan (over 70) who moved house at the start of June to Wales and we didn’t know when the bridge would open. It’s everyone’s first grandchild/great grandchild.

I feel so much better in myself having those connections. Cuddles were outside and he was passed from as much as a distance as possible. Everyone washed their hands.

He’s never had a cold or virus so I worry about his immune system long term.
I worry about his social development
I worry about his cognitive development

I go back to work in September (Teacher) and he needs to be okay with being left with people. Only way for that to happen is for him to meet people. I also live in a lower risk area.

The virus isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, it’s a background risk we will need to live with until a vaccine comes along. Nurseries are also open and nursery workers will have to pick up children to comfort and change 🤷‍♀️

That’s my opinion, not saying it’s right for everyone, but it’s right for me.

I think it’s very personal OP. I personally have done a lot of reading & looking at stats from around the world & very much concluded this is a mild illness for 99.8% of children. Very few have died when consider how many children there are in the world. And the majority of those who have had underlying conditions. There of course heartbreaking exceptions & I’m not minimising how awful it is to lose a child in any way. Simply, the statistical risk is extremely low.

Children are at risk of illness constantly. I cannot tell you how many illnesses my 3 year old has had. A couple times we’ve ended up in hospital for a few days as her breathing was dodge & very high temp. But once she was better, off she went back to nursery. I didn’t even think twice. Illness happens. It’s actually good for their immune system as shitty as being ill is for them & you!

But that’s my view from my research. As such, I sent DD1 back to nursery In June & I don’t make her socially distance when seeing friends & family in the garden (unless they want her too. I always ask first). I will also be letting my in-laws hold, cuddle and look after DD2 when we go stay with them in a couple weeks. Again, my reasoning here is that we are going to be in the house with them for 10 days. If any of us have, we’ll pick it up from surfaces, shared bathrooms, cooking for each other & just generally being in close-ish proximity for 10 straight days. Staying 2m apart isn’t going to stop that!

It’s whatever you & your mum feel comfortable with. If she is worried & wants to wait, I think that’s her prerogative. My mum is shielding but choosing to go get her hair cut tomorrow.. I’d probably rather she didn’t but she’s an adult & can weigh it up herself!

There hasnt been a single case of Covid in a child requiring intervention in our county, according to my dad who runs an ICU. We've been letting DD have cuddles with grandparents.

My son was born at the start of lockdown in late March. He met his Grandma yesterday.

The friends' situation may be that the grandparents don't have high risk jobs

My baby woke at 9pm (2 months ago) choking and couldn't breathe. Within 5 minutes she was blue top to bottom and an ambulance came. She tested positive for covid in hospital and needed oxygen in two occasions whilst we stayed there. She caught covid off me :(

@Cauliflower82

I don’t know the answer but I’m following.

I have many new mum friends now letting grandparents and siblings hold baby but I haven’t taken the plunge yet. We’ve met family in the garden but that’s it.

I have no idea what to do. Baby is 17 weeks old now and I worry we’re hindering his social development but then at the same time I want to keep him healthy.

I really don’t know what to do and until I do I’m saying no. But I do want to.

Children only need interaction with other children from 2 years onwards to help their development. Babies just need their primary carers.

It's very personal, every one needs to take in their own risk factors. If you live in low risk areas, have little outside contact and anyone you meet is the same then the risk is low... with your mum working in a school it's different as her risk is higher but you can look at the current infection rates where she lives.

I have met with my mum, brother, sil and DGM, they've held baby and cuddled/played with my dd5. We're all equal risk or near enough but I'm comfortable with it as the infection rates are so low where we live.

Babies don't know any different and their social development won't be harmed this young. A strong and healthy bond with parents isn't going to hold them back either.

I started off cautious, but I’ve relaxed now.

My partner is a key worker with limited social distancing due to the job. So I’ve figured she would most likely get ill from her dad rather than family who haven’t been working or seeing other people ect.

And honestly I think it’s the best decision (for me) the relief of having someone else being able to hold/feed baby for an hour has taken a massive weight off of my shoulders!

I love my baby don’t get me wrong, but we all need a break especially when the other half works 14 hour shifts often 7 days a week!

@anotherdayinmumlife omg that's terrifying! How is your baby now?

My twins are 10 weeks old now and we have DH’s parents and sister, nieces/ nephews visiting tomorrow. We will be in the garden and no one will be holding the babies. As annoying as it is to have no help, I still want to be cautious about covid.

@Anotherdayinmumlife - blimey, that’s horrible. Hope your baba is better now! Did the Covid cause the choking? Or was the choking a separate thing that caused her going blue but she coincidentally had Covid?

@theproblemwitheyes

There hasnt been a single case of Covid in a child requiring intervention in our county, according to my dad who runs an ICU. We've been letting DD have cuddles with grandparents.

Apart from the newborn baby in Wales who died from it? Or was that not declared as covid on the death certificate in the end?

@Lazydaisydaydream

Pp presumably doesn’t live in Glamorgan. Every death is a personal tragedy for many people, but there has to come a time to weigh up the risks. Instilling fear in a new mother isn’t helpful. I’m sure most women with kids born in the internet age could recall things they Googled that could kill their baby, even if statistically massively unlikely.

OP needs reassurance here, I think, that whatever her choice, she is not putting her baby at any greater risk than going for a drive, for example. It is her choice. Don’t add any more mum guilt.

@Lazydaisydaydream ...I specifically said in my county.

@Bol87 the covid caused a really bad temperature which she was dealing with 24 hours prior, I was advised by 111 to use calpol to bring it down which I was doing anyway, but the consultant in A&E said the needing oxygen was due to her little body going into shock when her temperature rose so quickly. On the second occasion she needed it her temp rose from 36 something to 40 in a couple of minutes, which then caused uncontrollable shaking, blueness in the face and then not being able to breathe properly. It was the first thing they tested her for once we for there due to me being positive, and apparently she's not been the first in my local hospital to come in with bad symptoms. Scary times!

I’d meet but stay socially distanced following the new rules. Mainly to protect your mum and yourselves rather than baby, as statistically adults are more at risk. I have a baby and she hasn’t been held by any family or friends since lockdown.

My baby is 6 weeks old and up until this week has only been seeing his grandparents (who I know are safe).

This week my siblings have had a cuddle also.

[quote theproblemwitheyes]**@Lazydaisydaydream* ...I specifically said in my county*.[/quote]
Apologies, I did misread your post.

@Kwality I was not "adding mum guilt" I was asking a genuine question as someone who is due to have a baby shortly and is concerned about similar things in terms of seeing family. But as I misread the posters post it doesn't matter as she can't answer my question. Sorry for any confusion or upset.

Could you not see people and socially distance? If you see them outside the risk is very low and you don’t have to let them hold your baby yet if you aren’t comfortable with it.
I’ve got an 18 week old and my pil are holding him. It’s a little different for us though as my 3 year old DD is back at nursery and can’t socially distance from the baby so I’m a little more relaxed. I’ve looked at the risks to my children and actually consider that the risk to my pil is higher than to my DC but that’s their decision to make