Stopping breastfeeding- how to do it? Stressing slightly

[TheIckabog]

My DD will be one in a month and I’d like to stop breastfeeding but I have absolutely no idea how to do it! She’s an EBF baby and still has 3/4 feeds a day and 1/2 at night. She eats well and we are on three meals a day and are starting to introduce snacks.

I’m planning on introducing cows milk as a drink in a sippy or open cup- does the cows milk replace boob milk feeds? Or should I just start by trying to drop one feed at a time and offer a snack instead if she seems hungry?

She also still has two feeds at night (bed is usually 6 and she wakes at 9 for a feed and then at least once more in the night)- how do I stop this? I’m really worried she won’t get back to sleep without a feed at 3am etc. Do you give milk instead? I’m just really stressing about this and I don’t really know what to do or try! What do people do?

I think at that age she may still need some milk over night.

Do you feed at set times now? At first I would just go with don’t offer but don’t refuse for a few weeks and then decide what to do next. For your sake you need to stop feeding slowly.

Try doing it gradually, you lo probably has more of an attachment to boob and being with you rather than being hungry if they are eating well.

Try only having boob once in the morning and once before bed plus nighttime at the moment. See how they react. Then I'd work on dropping the am.

Have you tried settling your lo at night without bfing?

My wee one naturally dropped boob herself until she was only having am and before nap. I could tell she was only doing it for cuddles from about 10 months and she ate well at mealtimes. I gave her one last feed when she got up on her birthday and stopped. She never went looking for it again. I'm lucky it was easy for us.

How much of a rush are you in? I did it really gradually. I dropped daytime feeds first as these were easy to replace with snack/cuddles/cup of milk. I dropped one at a time (so this did take a while, I wasn't at all in a rush).

Night feeds my DD was much older, so no concerns about nighttime hunger. Also, as she was older she understood more, so I talked to her about it. We read books together at bedtime ("Sally weans from nightnursing" was a favourite, as was "nursies when the sun shines")

FWIW, I was horrifically worried about how it would go. DD was a real boob monster, and I couldn't see how that was ever going to change. I was imagining either feeding her till she was 6 or having screaming, raging battles! It was actually all much easier than I realised. She was ready to go without it physically, so it was just a matter of making sure she got just as much physical affection and snuggling and understood that she was still loved and her needs would be met.

I can't advise but following as my LO is 17 months now and I think its time to start winding down although he only feeds at around 7pm, 10pm and first thing.

Following. My daughter will be 1 this month and I'd like to stop.

There is no right or wrong way to stop breastfeeding.
I’d do it slowly over several weeks.
You'll probably find it easiestto drop 1 feed at a time Begin by dropping the breastfeeding session that she seems least interested in. I left the early morning or bedtime BF sessions for last.

Distract her with other activities at the times she usually nurses, for example, a toy or a trip to the park. Avoid sitting in the chair or position where you usually feed your baby. You could offer a snack just before you expect your child to nurse, so as to increase the length of time between feeds and/or shorten a feed. Sit together and have a drink and a snack yourself. If your daughter puts up a serious fight every time you refuse to breastfeed, have your OH or another relative take over and offer the milk cup while you stay out of sight. If your breasts simply aren't accessible, she may be more willing to give them up.
Besides cutting out a feed, you can also shave a few minutes off of each feeding.
Once she is over 1 year and having a variety of foods and drinks, she won’t need a replacement milk feed. Milk is now mainly just a drink and source of calcium and vitamin D. She could have water or sugar free squash instead, and get her calcium from mealtimes.
A baby tends to drink larger amounts at each feed from a soppy cup than from the breast so she may need fewer cups per day than her usual number of breastfeeds. She’ll miss the close contact and comfort that nursing provides so double up on cuddling and carrying to make up for it.
Not every baby or toddler likes to drink milk. Breastfed babies can be slower to take a liking to it, and that’s OK. You could try mixing it with expressed breastmilk, or could try serving it slightly warm.

Thanks everyone for the replies. I’m not in a rush to stop bf-ing so I can do it gradually over a few weeks. Since we started weaning she has naturally dropped her morning feed and sometimes she doesn’t have a feed before she goes to bed (even though it’s offered). It’s mostly the late evening feed which she really cries for, it’s the only feed she seems to really want out of all of them but that’s the one I’d actually like to drop if possible.

It sounds probably quite selfish but I would love to be able to go for an evening meal with DH (after lockdown) which would be the first time since she was born, but she’s so unpredictable with her feeds, sometimes she wakes at 8pm, sometimes 9, sometimes 10, so it’s harder to leave her with anyone. Could I replace that feed with a milk drink once she turns 1 if she really gets upset at not having anything? And clean her teeth after

When I night-weaned ds1 I took this approach:
When dc wakes, try to re-settle in any way you can that's not bf for 10 minutes. If after 10 minutes dc is still crying, bf. If they settle but wake up again within an hour, bf. I was amazed that my milk monster actually generally fell asleep within 5 minutes without feeding most of the times he woke up. It really helped to drop the feeds that were more from habit than hunger.
To stop the pre-midnight grazing, I gave a supper of milky porridge before teeth, bath and bed. I did this at around 11mo. It didn't cut out ALL night feeds, but it certainly reduced them and then at 12mo he slept through for the first time ever (woohoo!) and at 18mo he stopped bf completely. Good luck.

My son was EBF and I gradually stopped day feeds from 9 months as I was going back to work. Night feeds stopped just after he was 13 months at his doing. I’ve just done my last feed before (well that’s the plan) he is 15 months but feel so emotional about it! But he often seems more interested in the book after and he has got so big so I feel it’s the right time x
Not easy to stop when often it’s so hard to start too!

On a practiacl note, when I had to get the youngest off from night feeds I would put lemon juice on my boobs when he had gone to sleep, aftet a few nights he stopped looking for them

To be honest I didn’t manage at that age. Fretted and put it off for ages. Then at 27 months (a lot longer than I had planned) I found it really easy to stop (no feeding at night, down to 1 feed so could offer distraction for that 1 feed). My takeaway personally was that it’s more daunting and harder when they’re just not ready...

Before bed btw!

@stairgates oh my god are you my grandma!?

I stopped feeding DS at 13 months. As pps said I did it gradually. I’d been back at work since he was 11 months and we had night weaned just before that so he was only having 3 feeds - when I got home from work, bed time and first thing in the morning. He was having cows milk in a cup by then.

I’d drop the night feeds first so you can get some sleep! We did it by getting DH to go in and offer him water and it was fairly painless. Then dropped the after work feed with lots of distraction and an earlier dinner. Then the bedtime feed was replaced with a cup of milk, and then the morning one went a week later. I cried all the way through the last feed. Also took some pictures and videos which made me feel better. But the feeling of freedom was immense! You’ve done so well to get this far.

HarrietM87 I did the same with the last feed this week! But last night was first night with no BF and he didn’t even seem to notice!! So I guess he was ready!! It’s just me who has been an emotional wreck! I also took photos!! All the best everyone going through weaning!

I dropped the day time feeds 1st as It was easier to distract them. I did one by one. Then I started the night feeds. The last one to go was the before bed one. Took a while but we've now been boob free for 4 weeks and he took to it like a champ. I do have to lie with him until he falls asleep though usually 15 mins.

By the way and sorry to jump on this thread but if anyone knows of any resources about stopping breastfeeding I’d love to know of them. So much support out there to start or if you have problems but not the feelings or practicals when you come to end xx

I stopped the night feeds first because waking up was killing me. When he woke up I just got in bed with him and told him theres no milk at night, lie back down and go to sleep. There were a few weeks of crying but he got the message.

With daytime feeds I reduced the quantity to morning, nap and bedtime, then just bedtime, then none at all. When he grabbed my boobs I told him the milk’s gone. Again there was lots of crying. I still let him hold my boobs for comfort, but not put them in his mouth. He’s been stopped for months and still likes to hold them.

I didn’t replace the milk with anything because he’s over the age of one. I’d like him to drink cows milk but he won’t, so I offer other sources of calcium such as cheese.

@LL82

Kellymom or Can I BF in it Support on FB will have resources.

Start googling

@TheIckabog Lots of ways to do it- I still remember feeding plenty when DS turned one but by 18 months he'd dropped day feeds himself.

Deal with day, or night, separately.

There doesn't have to be any crying.

And don't give cow's milk overnight- no good for teeth