Newborn aggressively breast feeding

[JKDcot]

Hi all

FTM to 4 week old. I am EBF and happy it’s going ok as he’s putting on weight. It is relentless though, currently feeding every 2 hours often for 30 mins. He gets so worked up before a feed and is crying, head butting me and flailing his arms. My nipples are already sore and this is making it so painful when he bashes them.

Any advice? Should I hold his arms down? I can’t seem to calm him before the feed? What else can I do to make it a nice less aggressive experience?

Hi OP, can you try swaddling him with a muslin to help keep his arms in?

I've been through exactly the same and that's what worked for me.

At 4 weeks cluster feeding like you described is totally normal. I promise it does pass and the flailing around does stop.

You're doing great

Watch for his cues for hunger, all babies are different but the earliest cues are turning their head side to side, puckering and smacking their lips, hands to mouth.

If you catch him before he is crying it should be a lot calmer.

Newborns do feed a lot in the beginning, they’re increasing your milk supply and it’s very comforting in the big scary world!

Hey, I'm also FTM to 3 week old and had this issue. I was told not to hold hands down as they need them on the breast to stimulate milk flow. Are you feeding as soon as you see the early cues? Sounds like he's getting frustrated by the time you feed him. My DD feeds every hour and a half for 20'mins minimum so feel you pain.

Check your latch too as it shouldn't hurt after first 15 seconds. If it hurts take him off and re latch - annoying but necessary!

Have you got lanisoh creams? It's a god send!

Good luck x

Also when should my nipples “toughen up”? And when is his feeding needs more space out. Even every 4 hours is better

Thank you. I have the nipple cream but usually too focused on changing and setting him to remember it! I’m not sure about the muslin swaddling but will try it. It’s the arms that are the biggest issue

It won't be every four hours OP, every 3 hours is more usual but that won't be for a little while yet.

At the minute baby's stomach is tiny so is empty again pretty quickly.

Another vote for lansinoh if you're sore. You don't need to remove it before feeding either.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but can you try feeding him more often? If he feeds every 3 hours but is upset, can you offer the breast an hour and a half after the last feed and see if he takes it more calmly? It does sound a bit like he's really, really hungry and getting frustrated!

Getting to 4 weeks is a huge achievement, and it does get easier! From around 6-8 weeks mine started to be able to latch much better without help, which reduced nipple pain a lot

Hate to break it to you op but four hours between feeds for a breastfed baby is too long- really old advice. DD2 is 6 months and goes 3 hours mostly but sometimes only lasts 1.5 hours. Lower your expectations of your tiny baby, his stomach is tiny and breastfeeding also provides so much comfort and security to him.

Very rare that we as adults would go 4 hours without a snack/ cup of tea.

Feed as soon as he shows any sign of a hunger cue- mouth opening, head going from side to side. He will take what he needs but may also comfort suck, this is fine. If you wait till he is crying then he will be frantic and latch and feeding will be poorer.

For your nipples the most important thing is getting his latch perfect and not letting him slip. If you can feel your nipple running in his mouth then re-latch.
Lanisoh after every feed.

It sounds like he might have tongue tie, please get it looked in to. My DS had it, it made a huge difference once it was sorted.

Gosh I just giggled as I remember how worried I was when my LO did this - I'd forgotten all about it!

Don't have any advice but my experience was that she stopped - she's four months now. I think it was when she was cluster feeding/ putting on weight in the early days. It's quite intimidating isn't it!!

Best of luck op, this stage will pass soon and feeding gets so so much easier! Just roll with it if you can. I'm still feeding and honestly I can't believe how simple it is now

My DC2 was an excellent sleeper at that age (a welcome change from DC1), but he compensated by feeding every 90 mins to 2 hours in the day. Luckily he was efficient, so it didn’t take that long, but there is no way he would have gone 4 hours. Agree to look for cues, rooting, turning head, hands in mouth.

This stage is so hard but it passes so so quickly. PP are right - do not expect baby to go 4 hours between feeds. 2 hours is very normal, even less. If baby is getting very upset before feeds they are probably very hungry so try feeding a little bit earlier and see if that helps. Yes to lanisoh after every feed.

At this stage it's easy to think that you've not got enough milk and that's why they're feeding all the time, and turn to formula. But this is just how baby builds your supply. Also even if they had formula they would still need feeding every 2 hours and then you'd also have to wash and sterilise all the bottles.

The first 2 months of breastfeeding can be awful (I had every issue under the sun) but after that it gets so much easier and is the most convenient and lazy way of feeding. Baby cries - whip out boob. Done. Keep going!

It sounds like those are late hunger signs. Try feeding him a little sooner, and he should be calmer

OP just to add a different perspective, both my babies were aggressive, flailing breastfeeders and I never left it late to feed. It was like smelling the milk so close sent them into a frenzy. Even the infant feeding team remarked on it and it made it tricky to get into a good position and think about the latch.

The only thing I found helped was doing a kind of koala hold/ biological nurturing position as the arms less in the way and cradle/cross cradle made her particularly incensed!

Hi Op, you are in the thick of it at the moment. Your little one is still building up your supply which is probably making him seem more frantic at the breast at the moment. I believe that they hit the breast to try and get milk out (I’m sure I read that somewhere unless I’ve imagined it!) This is him trying to get more milk out, soon your breasts will up their supply to match his needs. If you can, feed as often as possible and plenty of skin to skin. He will settle soon and hopefully stop flailing around so much, the first 8 weeks are tricky but you will soon become established and in a routine.

I used to swaddle my baby or us a blanket to wrap over his arm closest to my face is that makes sense as by baby used to do that! Then he starting pinching my boob while feeding!! Some babies will feed every 2 hours for ages whereas others will go 3-4 hours! My friends twins went every 4 hours from a very young age, so there is hope! You could give a bottle of expressed milk or formula to give your nipples a break- I did this and we’re still feeding at 17 months, I think if I would have ebf I would probs have made it 5 weeks then stopped all together!

I will get absolutely flamed for this but this is why I bottle fed both my dc. I just couldn’t cope with the relentless feeding in the early weeks. My nipples were so painful and I was dreading every feed which was actually leading me to resent everything about being a parent. It’s very normal for small babies to be literally stuck on the boob for hours and hours, it’s how they encourage milk to be made and they find it comforting. It’s simply not normal for them to go more than 2 hours (usually) between feeds at this stage. I bottle fed and used a dummy between feeds to satisfy their need to comfort suck. I have the upmost admiration for those who are so determined to breastfeed they can cope with this but I couldn’t at all. We are all different, just wanted to share a different perspective. My dc are now 17 and 8. So this was a long time ago though!

Or hand express for a min before you start the boob feeding to get the milk going so when he starts the feeding the milk is there and he doesn’t get frustrated!

It sounds like those are late hunger signs. Try feeding him a little sooner, and he should be calmer

This! If you catch him sooner he's less likely to rush latching on which should hopefully help to alleviate the sore nipple issue at the same time.

You're doing a great job OP, in the early days it does feel like you'll be stuck on the sofa forever, but gradually he'll space the time out between feeds.

It's a while until they feed every four hours, OP. As soon as you see a hunger sign, lop that boob out. Lansinoh will help with your nipples. It will get better :-)

Thank you all. I can’t imagine breast feeding not hurting/being challenging. I really want to persevere and at 4 weeks today maybe this is the worst and it Will get easier? I will try and offer him food quicker/earlier before 3 hour mark.

I realised I usually leave it that long as it takes me a while to settle him to sleep so by the time we have fed, changed and settled it might mean he only sleeps for 30-45 mins before I’d have to wake him for more food? This seems bad too??

30 mins every couple of hours is about normal at this stage.

If it’s still painful I would consider a latch issue. I guess there are no groups available at the moment but wondering if you can find a lactation consultant. It’s hard to get a nice latch with a ravenous baby, but a latch issue would make it very painful. Are you cracked/bleeding? Are nipples bruised, or even squashed when baby comes off? Does baby have your nipple/areola deep in their mouth or are they just feeding off the end? Does baby leak any milk from their mouth? Do they make any clicking sounds when they feed? All of these would be signs baby might have a tongue tie, which can be easily missed in normal times, never mind a pandemic

Don't wake him for food... if he is happy and gaining weight then when he sleeps just leave him be, and get some rest yourself! Unless there are issues with weight gain and you have been told otherwise by the doc.

To be honest there won't necessarily be a proper pattern for a while. He might feed, them sleep for three hours, and then feed five times in an hour and then sleep again. Try and avoid putting yourself into a routine of any sort, they change so much at this age. Just keep getting people to bring you supplies like water and tea and chocolate! You're doing really well.

The feeding frequently is completely normal. I think you need some guidance on the latch though as it shouldn't hurt this much. Can I suggest the NCT feeding line 0300 330 0700 (option 1). A breastfeeding counsellor will call you back. Totally free and available to anyone with a feeding query.