To go on holiday or not?

[Apple35]

Well my hubby has a big birthday coming up this year and he would maybe like to go to Amsterdam for a long weekend next August (we stay in the UK).
I said I am not sure as our baby will only be 16 months old by then (but over 14 month's corrected as she was 7 week's early). She would be in very safe hands as my sis and MIL would look after her but I would feel too guilty and would worry about her so much.
Plus, would worry what others would say e.g. bad parent etc...especially from my ever critical mother.
My husband is taking what i'm saying on board but feels I am letting my guilt cloud my judgment.
Anyone else been on holiday without their baby? My first baby so not quite sure how she would be at this age!
Opinions very much appreciated!

We had to send DD to my parents for a few nights at about this age when DS was rushed into hospital. I was worried as she'd never stayed away from me, but she was absolutely fine.

It will depend on the child, though - I'm not sure DS would have been as settled.

Can you have a trial run beforehand?

@BelfastSmile Thank you for your response. Yeah after the lockdown we would maybe try to have her left without and care for by sis or MIL. If we go away I would ask them to come and stay at our house. But again it would be such a worry.

I wouldn't have gone on holiday without mu baby, I would miss her too much to enjoy it.

@onandonandons Yeah I know. That's what is making it so difficult. I would worry so much I wonder if there would be any point as u are meant to enjoy your holiday.

I'd worry this year with Covid that something could change unexpectedly and you get trapped over there for longer than expected or quarantine rules change while you're out there and impact you and the baby.

Also Amsterdam with social distancing, you won't get the full experience and I expect not everywhere will be open.

I'm not generally precious about leaving DS, but I couldn't do it at that age for the sake of a holiday. It's different if you have to leave them, but holidays are a choice and personally I couldn't justify it to myself. Each to their own though, I'm sure if you do go she'll be absolutely fine

We went to Barcelona when DD was 3 months. I felt guilty at first and missed her so much but we had a great time. I'd do it.

It's a few nights get yourself off for a nice break depending on how the pandemic is. Don't feel guilty about wanting adult time with a partner. Your child would be safe with family members.

My husband says just one last couple's holiday before all the years of family orientated holidays which i am looking forward to.
It's a tough call. I take it feeling guilty is normal? I feel selfish for wanting a few days break.

@Negomi90 Sorry i should have said it would be next year but who knows with the pandemic.

A shirt break is just that, a short break. I have a friend who wont leave her 10 year old, even with her father, who lives with them. How about a night even?

I think there is no fixed answer, but if you don't want to, that's fine to.

Ever since I had kids I haven't wanted to go on holiday without them, because I don't. I am happy enough when they do stuff without me, and I quite look forward to them setting up their own households. But right now it would feel weird for me to go on holiday without them.

You don't have to do it, and you're not a bad parent if you do do it.

I wasn't sure but do you mean this August or next August? If this August, I think covid travel crap would put me off. If next August, think about it next year.

A break away but in the same country might also feel less of a deal, because you can drive straight back if something happens.

It's entirely up to you. I went away for a weekend without my baby at about 4 months and didn't miss her at all. In fact it was just what I needed!

She also stayed at my mum's overnight once a week (before Covid) from about 5.5 months. I think it's good for her to spend time away from us and vice versa. But really, it's whatever you feel happy with.

Do you need to book it soon? I wouldn’t have been happy leaving my DD then, but lots of people do. I think it depends on your child and their relationship with the person you will be leaving them with, which I think you can’t predict this far in advance.

@crazychemist Yeah. It is so hard to predict how she will be or what stage she would be going through.
I know other's who have had no issue with it but unfortunately, I can't predict it.

I’ve happily left my DD with my parents for a night since she was 8 weeks old. She’s now 3 & still loves a night at Grannies (although not right now obviously). From a child’s perspective, it’s certainly not done any harm what so ever. And it’s always been a welcome break for me & OH.

I also travel for work (in non Covid times) I’m down in London for a week every couple months & last year I went to US twice for conferences. I did feel strange being so far away from DD but knew she was in safe hands between Daddy & my parents who helped out. I miss DD lots but the time away flies by, we FaceTime & it’s not impacted our relationship at all as far as I can tell! She’s a happy, loving, confident little girl.

Can you book somewhere with a deposit & know that you could potentially lose the deposit if you change your mind?!