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Parenting

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Original poster

Does anyone have a two year age gap anymore?

29 replies

Anotherscentedcandle · 01/07/2020 23:26

Debating having a second child with my DP and it seems no-one has children with a two year gap anymore. People my age (mid 30s) all have siblings with a two year age gap but children now seem to be three or four year age gaps minimum. Is it just the people I know? Is it nursery funding or something else?

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rooarsome · 01/07/2020 23:28

There's exactly 2 years to the day between my 6 and 4 year old

endoflevelbaddy · 01/07/2020 23:28

We couldn't afford 2 lots of nursery fees at the same time. And I needed to save to take maternity leave as the main earner, so we ended up with a 3.5 year gap.

Original poster

Anotherscentedcandle · 01/07/2020 23:31

Do you think it's just financials then? Or that its bloody hard work?!

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YoungsterIwish · 01/07/2020 23:31

Smaller gaps are normal in our circle, like 1.5-2.5 years.

Not all bigger gaps are planned - ours was due to a mc

AIMD · 01/07/2020 23:32

My kids are 2 years 2 months apart. To be honest it wasn’t too bad because it meant I was on maternity leave when the oldest was 2-3 (not yet eligible for free hours) and I returned to work just as he was eligible for his 30 he nursery funding.

I think it does have an impact on your career. Having 2 lots of maternity leave with only 1 year/18 months back at work in between had an impact on my career. It was hard to settle back in after the first mat leave and then not long until I knew I was pregnant and would be off again.

Macey78 · 01/07/2020 23:33

Might depend on individual circumstances. Both my brothers and their partners have had 2 year age gaps if not less with there children. A couple of neighbours here have 2 year age gaps also.

I would have loved to also but ended up with a 4.5year age gap as our dd was a very early riser and waking in the night regularly for the first 3 years!!!! So was put off until I could recover from it.

MyOtherProfile · 01/07/2020 23:34

We have just under 2 years and when I count up in my head more than half of the families we are friends with have the same. Pretty common round here.

MinecraftMother · 01/07/2020 23:36

This idiot 👋

18m and then 2yrs.

It's great...NOW!

YoungsterIwish · 01/07/2020 23:36

I think the smaller gap is harder at first, but when they get past the toddler years, the smaller gap is easier as they are at similar stages. My older child has outgrown a lot of the places my younger child still loves, so it can be hard to suit both. I wouldn't have chosen a big gap, tho it did make the baby years easier at the time.

Also, if ours go to college, we'll only have one in college at a time.

JustHavinABreak · 01/07/2020 23:40

Exactly 2 and a half years between our first and second, and 2 and a half years between our second and third. You'd swear we'd planned it that way but we didn't! It was great and they all get on really well

Itsmemaggie · 01/07/2020 23:46

A two school year gap definitely seems to be the most common - obviously there’s a range of actual age gaps within that, but even some families I know with a 1 year school gap will have almost a two year gap (so one old for year, next Young in year).

Itsmemaggie · 01/07/2020 23:46

I have 15 months between my eldest. Short term pain long term gain.

Roseinbloom20 · 01/07/2020 23:49

I think it's down to individual circumstances. We planned a two year gap, took 9 months to conceive and then we tragically lost the baby very late at 31 weeks. Started trying again asap and fell pregnant within 3 months and now have a 3 year 7 month gap and two beautiful boys. The slightly bigger gap has worked out well for us as DS1 has more understanding of what's going on and absolutely adores his baby brother. He was 2 and a half when we lost our DD and I'm so pleased he didn't know what was going on and I'm not sure he'd have been as accepting of a new baby as he is now. Each to their own though, I know I've found it easier with DS1 being a bit older and more independent and allowing me more time with DS2.

TeddyBeans · 01/07/2020 23:52

Would have had a 2.5 year age gap between DS and DC2 but then my partner walked out just as we were going to start TTC. So now DS is 2 and a bit with no chance of having a sibling and it sucks

Fatted · 01/07/2020 23:53

I had a two year age gap. Wouldn't have it any other way. It is hard and on paper it is terrible. But we muddled our way through it. We had a lot of flukes that worked in our favour. I was redeployed while on mat leave into a part time evening position that meant I could work around DH's hours and we didn't have to pay for childcare. He got a promotion while I was mat leave too, so our income remained roughly the same.

It's not easy, but I'm glad the baby stage was all over and done with in the space of a few years. I'd find it hard to go back to having a newborn, with nappies and sleepless nights after being used to a four year old. When my youngest was three, he started school nursery, and I went back to work full time. I felt like I had my freedom back. I saw lots off mums at the school gates pregnant with the next one, and I just thought 'Nope!'.

It worked well for us. My two are very close. My eldest doesn't remember a time without his brother being there. They are 7 and 5 now.

bluechameleon · 02/07/2020 00:03

Aimed for 2ish year gap, ended up with 3.5 year gap as it took a while to conceive.

sitckmansladylove · 02/07/2020 00:07

Just over a one year gap here. Due to being 35 having my first. I didn't see the point of waiting. I get paid maternity so financial implications thankfully didn't come into it.

Welcometotheneighbourhood · 02/07/2020 00:13

@rooarsome

There's exactly 2 years to the day between my 6 and 4 year old

Oooh mine too!!

Xmasbaby11 · 02/07/2020 00:23

2 years 13 days between my 2dc! We were hoping for 2-3 year gap and pregnancy happened quickly. I was 37.

3-4 is a common age gap among my friends for financial reasons. But 2 years is still common. At school there are loads of siblings with 2 year age gap.

I have found it hard work having 2dc but maybe not the age gap but dd1 being autistic. They are very close though and there's no massive difference in what they can/ can't do.

I think anything between 2-4 years is fairly standard. I felt lucky - we wanted 2dc and were able to have them!

RightOnTheEdge · 02/07/2020 00:27

I have less than two years between mine.

Sittingontheveranda · 02/07/2020 00:31

Less than two years between mine and I salute those who planned for a longer gap. Two years was HORRIBLE. It nearly broke down our relationship. Now they are older and it is so much better and I look at people with a five year gap trying to plan days out and holidays where one child is too old for kids camp, playgrounds and so on.
I would still have chosen a bigger gap though if time had been on my side.

Crabbo · 02/07/2020 00:34

Pretty much everyone I know with 2 children has around a 2 year age gap - ranging from 2 years and a couple of days up to 3 years exactly (same birthday). Plus one accidental 13 month gap.

TimeWastingButFun · 02/07/2020 00:39

Ours are 32, 31 (my DSC), 12 and 10!

Wyntersdiary · 02/07/2020 00:43

i have a 2 year old and a 1 year old .. its hard but i manage and ill enjoy it when they are a bit older and enjoying the same outings as eachother

jessstan2 · 02/07/2020 00:51

Lots of people do have two year age gaps between children (sometimes less). However others feel it's a good idea to be able to give the first one more individual attention so wait longer. I've been impressed seeing little children in their first year of school, so excited over a baby brother or sister.

I always thought three years was a sensible gap.

It's up to the individual though, everyone's different and sometimes nature decides when it is the right time to conceive a second child, regardless of what parents want.

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