Dear All
I am sure this is a common problem (I hope this is a common problem) my son is mummy obsessed. If I am around his Dad may as well not be there, he wants my attention constantly, he loves my tummy and lifts my top to get at it, even in public, just wants mummy mummy mummy mummy 24/7 and it is exhausting. However I can deal with all of that as I am guessing it is a phase he will grow out of but the flip side is he is being absolutely horrible to his Dad who is struggling. Our son regularly claims he doesn't like Daddy, he doesn't love Daddy, he doesn't want Daddy. Admittedly this tends to happen at story time or similar when he wants Mummy but it is Daddy's turn but it now seems to have ramped up and he just told his Dad he wanted him to marry someone else because he doesn't want him to cuddle his Mummy. It would seem he has graduated from pushing between us if we are having a cuddle, when that happens we explain to him that we love him but also love each other and try to turn it into a family cuddle but he then just shoves my husband away and clings to me.
We just don't know how to manage this situation, my husband is hurt and angry, my son gets very upset and I am stuck in the middle trying to placate everyone and failing. I feel like I must have done something to create this dynamic but I don't know what, I just want to put an end to it. If I am not around he is fine with his Dad, they have fun and are affectionate. His dad is a chef and his working hours meant that a large portion of the day to day activities fell to me, that is not to say that they spent no time together, they used to have Monday and Tuesday together and would do activities like swimming each week, cooking together and fort building etc. Since lock down however his Dad has been at home looking after our Son whilst I work upstairs. I am sure that has fed into this but the mummy obsession has been going on long before that.
My OH is also stricter than I am generally with behaviour which I am sure doesn't help. We are mostly consistent and use the time out step which does tend to work. We do not use the time out step for this behaviour however as it seems like punishing him for speaking about feelings. We talk to him about not saying hurtful things, that his Daddy loves him regardless, that he is safe etc.
Sorry if this is a bit rambling and scattered!!
Can anyone give me any advice on breaking this pattern of behaviour or hope that this will end preferably without permanently scarring my son or permanently driving a wedge between me and my husband?!?!!?!
Thanks!