If my 12 month old refuses a meal I've made, do I offer an alternative?

[YellowEllis]

I don't want him to enable him to be fussy. He is generally good and eats what we eat, but he definitely has his favourites. There's still lots of things he hasn't tried, so occasionally when serving something new he point blank won't eat it. What do I do if I serve him something and he cries and refuses it? DH thinks I need to offer him something else that he does like just to make sure he eats. I'm worried this will teach him to refuse food as he'll get something 'better'. It's turned into a bit of an argument between us tonight as he's refused his dinner. Just wondering what the actual way to handle it is.

Could you give an item he likes along with a new food?

With my 2 year old:
• if it’s something she’s had before & I know she’s liked it before,‘I dont offer an alternative. I maybe give her a banana if it’s before bed but assume she’s not hungry.
• if it’s ozone thing new that I think she genuinely may not like I’ll give an alternative. Even if that’s a quick bowl of porridge if close to bed time
Xxx

Yes I tend to offer something else - but I know what my daughter will eat. I try and offer varied food, if she refuses something I will default to beans and toast- if still refusing then I tend to know not hungry. I never allow pudding if haven’t eaten their dinner. I was told though keep offering the food they refuse don’t scrap it from the menu, then on another day they will eat it.

With my twelve year, if he refuses to eat dinner he is welcome to make his own. Stops the crying and scenes, he just gets up and makes beans on roast or scrambled egg or fish fingers /waffles on George forman. No drama. He knows to cover all the food groups in each meal, so I let him get on with it. As an adult there are lots of foods I don't like, so wouldn't cook it, so I'm just helping him develop healthy eating practices for the future.

Oops, you said 12 month old!!! 😂

Yes, offer one new thing with two things he will eat

(long day!)

Her child is 12 months old, not 12 years old. They cannot make their own dinner!

@Rushhomeroad I suggested he cook his own and he just looked at me and dribbled!

Thanks for the advice all!

Like previous posters, I always make sure there is at least one thing I think they will eat - so e.g. rice or potato if the veg or meat bit of the meal is more adventurous. It works as an approach with my 3 and 5 year old. The 11 month old is a bit less predictable and sometimes will decide he doesn't fancy something he demolished the previous day, in that case I assume he's not hungry and don't offer an alternative.

Nope, just make it up with milk later. It's always good to offer a mix of food you know they'll eat with food that is new at that age. But no, I've never make a separate meal with either of mine. At that age, they still have milk feeds, so just offer more milk later.

With my 19 month old if I make something she hasn't had before I always do a side off something I know she will eat weather it's some sort off veg or something then I know she's at least going to eat something instead off making a whole new meal for her! Like the other day she had a butter chicken curry with rice and nan. She didn't like the chicken but she ate all the rice and nan! I also made a home made chicken chow main one night not sure if she would eat it so I added fish cakes to her side! X

Yes, I give my 14 month old an alternative if she won't eat her dinner. She's still too wee to be consistent with her eating but I don't want her going to bed hungry. She gets fruit / yoghurt regardless, as it's part of the meal but I'll offer her toast or porridge if she throws it at me chooses not to eat her dinner that night.

Our DD has just turned 2 and weve never offered an alternative if it's refused. Our DD is fussy and always had been right since the start of weaning unfortunately though! She goes through phases where she's better than others and her eating is unpredictable - one day she will eat something and the next time she will say 'No X!" and cry and refuse it. So it's impossible to plan a meal with a plan to include something she will definitely eat, as there is nothing she will always eat except for sweet things! She does always have milk before bed though. And if she asks for food later on I will reoffer the meal and sometimes she will eat it. If not depending on length of time I will later give her a snack.

Babies often need to be introduced to a new food between 10 and 15 times before they will accept it.

I suggest you give your son food that he is familiar with and the same new food at every meal, until he tries the new food. He won’t starve.