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Parenting

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Original poster

how will I cope with only a 13month gap?

11 replies

beckswith3 · 13/10/2004 10:43

I'm due with babe no3 in 2 weeks and DS1 is 8, DS2 had his 1st birthday 2weeks ago!
Has anyone else had babes close together? and how did you cope?
I'm worrying about it all, DS2 is only just sleeping all night and obviously at 12mths old is a handful. I've no family close by and just wonder if anyone has any miracle tips to provide.

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sobernow · 13/10/2004 10:54

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sobernow · 13/10/2004 11:01

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sobernow · 13/10/2004 11:02

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Original poster

beckswith3 · 13/10/2004 11:27

thanks sobernow, ds1 is already a great help and is actually looking forward to another bro/sis. Its still going to be hard with him as he still needs to be ferried to his various clubs and helped with homework.
I'm only just finishing work now and the prospect of two babes is daunting at least with work you can take a break and have a chat. I think you're right about sorting out DS2 first and fingers crossed the new baby sleeps alot. It's just finding the patience for the first 6 months, I keep telling myself it'll be alright after that! I just worry about trying to give everybody the attention they need, including DH!

OP posts:

hana · 13/10/2004 17:59

beckswith - there are 13 months between my older sister and I - we have a great relationship, it's fab to have someone really close to me like that. YOunger sister too, but she's 4 years younger and it's not quite the same. Everyone assumed we were twins in the early years! - I was rather large and sis petite.....
no advice, but good luck with it all!!

handlemecarefully · 13/10/2004 22:22

It's going to be bloody hard work, but you will cope because you haven't got a choice. I think Sobernow's advice is very sound and I can't really add anything to it. The hardest thing I have found is that baby ds like all babies is a cling on and hates being put down for more than a few minutes - consequently when I am at home with the toddler and baby, toddler gets very jealous with me holding the baby all the time. So I try to go out as much as possible - baby ds is happy to be in the buggy (has a constantly changing vista to look at) and toddler is happy that we are doing something for her (like going to the park, going to the library etc). I consistently find it easier to be 'out' with them rather than at home.

sobernow · 13/10/2004 22:29

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wizzysmum · 13/10/2004 23:09

My 2nd and 3rd are 11 months apart and with dh working away it was hard work, but looking back I only remember the sweet things, like having to keep ds in the playpen because dd (nearly 1 at the time) was trying to pick him up. The hardest thing was making time for them all individually when they were a bit older - sometimes I think I could have read more to the younger ones, but I always seemed to be interrupted! It was lots of fun - I even took them all to Greece one half term without dh when they were about 6, 4 and 3. Worst time was checking in to Eurodisney with dd(just 3) dd (just 1) and ds (2+ months) on my 33rd birthday while dh was working and realising double buggy didn't fit anywhere. Best time, seeing how close they all are now (yet all very different) and how much they all adore their baby sister. I wouldn't change it for the world.

karen01 · 18/10/2004 08:27

Sorry to bombard but would any off you think that having the babies close together the eldest of the two misses out little bit. My DS is 4months and I want another baby but frightened that he may lose out in some way. Think this is because DD had my attention for 7 yrs!.

spikeycat · 18/10/2004 09:10

I had a ds1 ho is 2 in december and ds2 who will be 9 months in december, I was really worried but they are lovely together! I catch ds1 giving ds2 little kisses when I'm not even supposed to be looking and sharing toys (so he's not doing it just to hear he is a good boy!).

To be honest I don't even know I have got ds2 half the time, and I think rather than ds1 missing out I tend to ignore (for want of a better word ) ds2, who just plays by himself and is a happy chap!

throckenholt · 18/10/2004 09:22

first children obviously miss out on some things when siblings come along, but they gain in other areas.

There is no right or wrong time for having siblings - you just have to work out what works for you. If you think it is a good time to have another child then go for it - your first child will adapt - he will have little memory of a time when he didn't have a younger sibling.

By the way I have 18 months between DS1 and DS 2 & 3 (twins), and 14 months between me and my brother - all of us seem reasonably well adjusted for our age .

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