Wise mumsnetters please help me solve my dilemma

[justaphase]

I have a DS (2) and always wanted to have another child relatively close together. We have been trying for about 6 months but have problems (I get UTIs all the time and have to take long courses of ABs) so basically I don't know how long it will take to concieve.

I am in a job that I absolutely hate but it pays very well (I am the main breadwinner). The company has fantastic maternity policy (6 months full pay) and I have been there for 6 years. I did not always hate the job btw, it changed after I came back from maternity leave.

I am being offered a job with another company. It is the same money, perhaps more. It is a very interesting oportunity with good potential to develop into something even more interesting.

However, I have no idea what their maternity policy is.

So, what do I do? Do I grind my teeth and stick it out in the horrible old job, hope I can get pregnant soon, take the money and then look for something else after maternity leave

OR

Go for exciting new oportunity and put off TTC for another 6-12 months.

Please help, any thoughts appreciated.

Phone the new company's HR and ask them to e-mail you/post copies of all their staff policies - you don't have to be specific, but if you're thinking about taking up a job with them you're perfectly entitled to see copies of all their staff policies.

I'd go for the new job and stop TTC for a few months I think. Is the new job in the same field as your old one - i.e. is their mat.leave policy likely to be similar?

I think the new company's maternity policy is unlikely to be as good. My current company is proud to have the best policy in the industry.

I don't think that the smartest thing to do is make a life-changing decision when you are not in possession of all the facts. So rather than try to decide based on future variables, make your decision based on what you know and not "what if.."
So make a list of things you know for certain (and unfortunately, when you may conceive is not one of those things - sorry just trying to be practical) and then base your decision on that.

That would be option 2 then Coolmama, right?

Find out what mat pol is in new company before you do anything.

Is the new job better pay? does it make up for crap policy? #(if it is crap)

Also, it's utterly miserable being in a job you don't like. It's not worth being unhappy for 7+ hours a day.

Take the new job offer, give yourself a bit of time to settle in there and postpone TTC for a while. New exciting job opportunities don't come around often

Well after ds2 was born I turned down a job to stay with my old one on the basis we wanted a third child. I expected to be off on mat leave fairly soon and then I could find another job. In the end it took me 2 years to conceive so personally I would not stay in a job you hate as you never know.

I would assume it is roughly the same pay, so no, not really making up for the (potentially) crap maternity policy.

So... it seems that I am being irrational then. I thought this might be the case.

I just really want another baby NOW!

Think worst case scenario - if you got pregnant the week you started at your new job, what paid leave would you get?

After 9 months you'd have some annual leave -let's say 4 weeks, and you'd have SMP which isn't much.

You'd then be entitled to around 6 months unpaid leave probably...

Could you survive taking unpaid leave for 6 months?

If the answer's no, you either have to choose to stay in a job you hate (noooooo!), or wait until you've clocked up the minimum time for paid mat. leave.

But it's all speculation until you get your hands on the policy - phone HR tomorrow!!

I am meeting with HR on Thursday. How long does it usually take to qualify for paid maternity leave, does anybody know?

What sector is the job in?

You might be surprised - lots of places have 6 months maternity leave on full pay. Well, not lots, I know, but it's not that rare either

Asset management

Sorry - was hoping I could help if it was the NHS or academia!

it is a bank

Me neither

sorry for not replying - been banging about on that silly "flying to Sydney" thread.
It's not really about option 1 or 2, it's about getting all the facts together about all the perks including maternity etc.and then looking at what is best for you right now - I'm just cautioning making a decision based on something that is not, at this point, fact.

You might be able to google their mat policies if it's a bank or post here, someone might know what their pols are.

I don't think I'd put my life on hold if a job I really wanted came up, I can't stand being unhappy at work.

That's a great idea, I'll try googling. I would not really want to put the name here, just in case I get recognised.

name change
or go on sunday times best cos to work for and where women want to work (it's called something like that)

OK, I have found it. It is 12 weeks on full base pay but no bonus. Now what?

So the diff is new co = 3 months full pay
old co = 6 months full pay, correct?

So the deal is is your happiness worth 3 months full pay if and when you have another baby?

I think I'd take new job, but get the max you think yiu can get, so negotiate well on initial salary, since they can only say no - if you ask fro £100 but are prepared to settle for £50 you might end up with £70. Also given that you're being offered you're in a good position.

Then keep trying to get pregnant, be happy in the meantime. That's what I'd do. But I am spectacularly bad at shutting up and putting up plus am impulsive and stroppy so aybe not best person to advise!

Did it say how long you have to be there to qualify for it?

I'd go for it and start saving as much as you can, if possible, to help cover the difference.