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Parenting

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Original poster

Today it really hit me, i wont be having any more children

14 replies

lucyellensmum · 25/09/2007 16:54

I have two wonderful children 1 girl 17, one girl 2.5. Yep big gap. Both a result of serendipity. I would dearly love another child, but i know its not going to happen, i coudlnt cope, dp couldnt cope and financially it would cripple us. Dd2 is effectively an only child and im broody as hell, lots of pregnant women at M&T today and i think, ooh, that could be me, dd2 would love a little brother or sister. But i think it is not to be, my family is complete. Already it feels like dd2 isnt a baby any more and as for dd1, well she is more or less an adult and doesnt need me.

I know having another child would not be right for us, but i feel quite sad about it really.

Thats all really, just thought id share

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saythatagain · 25/09/2007 16:57

Feel for you (((hugs)))) x

TheMadHouse · 25/09/2007 16:59

Oh I feel the same. I would love more, but my body just does not do pregnancy. So no more for us, although if you could buy them at Tesco then I would have another two.

NAB3 · 25/09/2007 17:01

I know just how you feel as I would love another baby but it would be too hard, not to say risky. I am hanging on for a guinea pig and two kittens. Not quite the same as a baby but it is the right thing for us.

Is there really no way??

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scorpio1 · 25/09/2007 17:01

it soundsl ike you really want one. is there any way you could?

I think this is the last pg for me too.

OrmIrian · 25/09/2007 17:02

Aww lem I do know what you mean. It broke my heart when DD was born and I knew it was the last time. I marked every milestone. But there does come a time eventually when you start to feel releif that you aren't having any more children. Truly. It does happen.

Then when I found I was expecting DS#2 I cried for about 24 hours. He's lovely but I really didn't want him to start with.

Hulababy · 25/09/2007 17:04

I don't want to even think about it right now. Have no idea if all this treatment and ops I am having at the moment will have any effect on my fertility, but I can't think of the negative side - not ready too.

Original poster

lucyellensmum · 25/09/2007 18:44

i guess i should have said wistful, not sad. Well you know what i mean, even though, actually i know my family is lovely and complete, im just broody today i guess

OP posts:

karabiner · 25/09/2007 19:50

oh yes i feel the same - wistful and really felt the same reading your post.

Elibean · 25/09/2007 20:28

Yep, me too. And I really can't have any more, so I get as well as sometimes...as if having the choice would make it better. Not sure it would, tbh.

Then again, I have more days of feeling utterly glad for the two I have, and a solid sense of knowing my own energy limits

MrsMarvel · 27/09/2007 18:02

Hey lem, you're not too old - you're 36!!! (I checked). I'm 43 and really past it, but thought the same when I was your age. You sound from your op that deep down you want more.

hertsnessex · 27/09/2007 18:07

im 28, had to have an op last yr that left me infertile. i have 2 ds aged 2.5 and 3.5, and i had a mc before last yrs op. my 3rd baby was due 23/09/06 - so would have been a yr old now. but time helps, i dont think about it every day (prob because i see newborn babies everyday) and i am now conentrating on getting myself back to good health and fitness and enjoying the two i have. it is sooooo hard, i looked into adoption and surrogacy - neither were right for us (or more, my dh!) but what will be will be.

good luck, i hope you find peace within yourself.

christie2 · 28/09/2007 10:52

You still have time and maybe things will change so maybe don't close the door but live life as if its just the 4 of you. I find spending time with moms with older kids helps and I get excited about the things you can do with older ones (as you know with an older child already) and they have my same concerns/fears/frustrations and fun. I don't avoid people with babies but make sure my whole circle of friends is not just babies/moms and I tend to avoid the play groups scene. My little one is the same age and also the last so I sympathize. I am older than you and definately time ran out for me but you may find in a few years that another one is something you can manage, and if not, you still are living life with as few regrets as possible.

Bennj · 28/09/2007 20:22

I really feel for you as I feel something slightly similar.

We have a 14 month old but may not be having anymore. You just cant help looking at other parents and wishing you could have another!

You are very lucky to have 2 children and even though its hard you have to put all your energy into your family and concentrate on them and what you have instead of thinking what you could have.

Hope you feel better soon x

chipmonkey · 28/09/2007 21:15

I'm now pg with my last baby. This will be my 4th CS, I'll be 39 when this LO is born and will be having a tubal ligation at the same time as the CS. I know it's the right thing to do but still feel very sad about it. Also, have always wanted a little girl, have 3 ds's and am doing my utmost to convince myself that this is a litte boy too and that I'm fine with it! Dh definitely doesn't want any more, he has felt pressurised by me into having the last 2 and I think it's only fair to give him a break!
But it does make me wistful!

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