Feeling like a bad mum

[milcmxxx]

My little one is 4 months old and was meant to go to bed at 7, it’s now 11. She just was fighting sleep and crying, I tired everything, gently massages her so she pooped (hadn’t for two days), burped her, fed her, cooled the room down, literally everything. I just got back from taking her on a drive and she’s now flat out but I keep thinking of all the stress hormones that were in her little body 😭😭😭 wish there was something I could have done, or taken her on a drive sooner than I did.

Who said she is meant to be in bed at 7? There are no rules, she is tiny and her sleep patterns will change so much over the coming months(and years).

Shes too yoing for a bed time routine, dont stress about it. Call the gp or 111 and tell them her symptoms.

Awww your baby is tiny and just needed you. Be confident that you are her person. You are her person. You hold her and you will cam her. It might take aaaaaaaages. Four months is a notorious growth spurt time. These times will crop up. She will be unpredictable and scared. You will be her rock. Good luck x

Oh lovely. Be gentle on yourself... you have met all her needs with love & thought . Sometimes it really is process of elimination in working out what it is they need .

Sounds like you did everything you could to sooth her and comfort her. Sounds like a lucky baby.
Baby’s aren’t robots, unfortunately not all fall asleep at 7, it’s not unusual at all. Please don’t think you’re doing something wrong. She’s still so tiny to be worrying about bedtime.

There's really no saying that taking her for a drive sooner would have worked anyway, so don't beat yourself up. Sometimes your job is just to be there while they go through something like this. Which you did! You're doing fine, and so is she.

Every single parent in the world has had nights like this. You're not a bad mum at all. You were there with her doing your best and you were upset about it enough to post on here. Sounds like a good mum to me.

Call the gp or 111 and tell them her symptoms and tell them that my baby wont go to sleep at 7?!

OP everyone has nights like this. You're not a bad mum. You were doing everything you could to try and settle her. I had to call my husband back from work on monday because mine had been screaming at me for 4 hours straight. Ive come to believe the babyhood years are mainly about survival.

Oh OP there will be more nights like this and it's totally normal. Sometimes they just cry and there's no way to fix it. 4/5 months is a time for a big developmental jump so it could be related to this even. Your own stress hormones are primed for this and you have reacted in exactly the way a good mother should. Well done is what I say to you!

Thank you for your lovely replies 🥺💗 I was honestly half asleep when I wrote that feeling like the worst mother in the world! After she fell asleep she only woke up once for a feed and went straight back down until 6:30 so was quite a good night once she was asleep xxx

@Jajarolo your comment makes absolutely no sense - 4m isn't too young for a bedtime routine at all, and there's nothing 111 can do about an overtired baby!

[quote SomeoneElseEntirelyNow]@Jajarolo your comment makes absolutely no sense - 4m isn't too young for a bedtime routine at all, and there's nothing 111 can do about an overtired baby![/quote]
Whatever, Gina Ford. 111 for a constipated unsettling baby.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene no smarty pants, call 111 because the baby hadn't pooed in 2 days and won't settle.

You cant call 111 because a baby wont settle at bedtime 😂

Also, 2 days without doing a poo isnt constipation for a baby

@jajarolo i have no idea who that is, but a bedtime routine is really helpful for small babies as they learn night/day. Getting one in place pre-4m-sleep-regression can also make a big difference. Note i said routine, not schedule.

Also, at 4m 2 days with no poo isn't constipation, that's just being a baby. The unsettledness is obviously tiredness, as demonstrated by the nap fighting.

I massaged her tum and got the poop out!!! It was normal consistency as well think she was just a little bit bunged up. Also babies thrive on knowing what comes next and helps them feel secure and safe so that’s my reason for a bedtime routine, I know everyone parents differently that’s just me :) x