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Doubting myself as a parent

1 reply

Chinchi14 · 21/06/2020 23:59

I've dithered back and forth over this all evening but maybe it'll do me good to just write it down. I'm feeling uncharacteristically hopeless surrounding my ability to be a good, fair and consistent mum to my son who is four. Lately I feel at an absolute loss as to what the correct handling of a situation calls for. I am plagued by thoughts of whether i'm doing things right or if I'm making matters worse or if I'm being unreasonable and expecting too much or too little. It's wearing me down and I'm starting to feel that my son would be better off without me as I clearly can't do this. I don't always agree on parenting styles with my husband, which makes life hard - at times I think he expects too much of our son and I think that way of thinking has recently started to influence my way of parenting. No doubt lockdown hasn't helped and it's magnified several behavioural problems ten times over. At the other end of the scale I have my mother offering her advice and often critising how my husband parents and I'm always caught in the middle. I feel I cannot talk with my husband about this as he will just get cross and say it's because I've been speaking with my mum and I cannot talk to my mum about it as she wears me down with how we should be handling matters in a different way. I have utterly lost all faith in what I thought I knew and how I should be a good mum and if I could run away I would but I love my son so so much. But I'm not much good to him right now and I'm not sure how to turn myself around and focus on what's most important - him.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BookwormBetty · 22/06/2020 00:11

I'm so sorry you feel this way - remember though you are not the only one that feels like this.

It sounds like you are over thinking things a little bit, there is no right or wrong way to deal with things and we just have to follow our instincts. I can appreciate this would be difficult with conflicting advice/input from you DH and Mum.

If it makes you feel any better my husband and I have come to blows on parenting for the past 12 years. It is a constant battle, not with everything but definitely certain situations. We try not to argue in front of DC though.

You are good enough, you can do this. xx

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