Baby won’t sleep in cot during the evening

[daisy86]

My baby is eight weeks old. He tends to have a feed at around 6pm, then sleep in the sling with DH until 10ish, at which point we take him upstairs, feed him and put him to bed in his cot. He’s fine in the cot overnight, waking every 4.5 hours for feeds. He’ll also sometimes (but not always) have another couple of hours’ sleep in the cot after his first morning feed at 7am. Today he’s been sleeping in the cot from 8am onwards (it’s now 11am).

Anyway, I would really like to encourage him to sleep in his cot from 7-10pm so that DH doesn’t have to wear a sling for three hours every single evening. I’m wondering why he won’t settle in the cot from 7-10pm and how I can persuade him to do so?

The two differences between early evening and nighttime are that we’re not in the room from 7-10pm, whereas we are overnight and in the mornings (at weekends anyway). We don’t have blackout blinds so the room is quite light during the early evening - but it is during the morning as well and he does sometimes sleep then.

I hope this doesn’t sound heartless - I love my DS and I know he’s only little, but it would be lovely to have a bit of couple time with DH back in the evenings. Any advice would be most welcome.

Read about the fourth trimester. This is normal and won't last forever.

SIDS guidance says baby should be in the same room as you until 6 months. I'd be terrified to leave a small baby in a room elsewhere for 3 hours even with monitors.

Do you have a Moses basket? At that age DD spent her evenings in the Moses basket next to us on the sofa, means you’re nearby but not having to hold them all evening.

I second the moses basket. We'd pop it on the stand behind the sofa and watch the tele until last feed and then all go to bed.Won't be forever and bedtime will become naturally earlier x

Does your DH actually mind wearing him in a sling in the evenings? Surely it's for such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things and it actually sounds like a lovely way for them to bond.

I used to put mine down at 7 in a Moses basket downstairs and then go to bed around 8:30. DH is more of a night owl so he would stay up and bring DC up when he woke around 10 for a feed. Then the baby would stay by me in bed

I think this is really normal until about 3-4 months. Both of mine always slept in the sling with dh or he’d hold them til about 12-1am and I’d catch up on sleep. Both started easily sleeping in the cot (co sleeping cot) around 3-4 months.

I don’t have a Moses basket - DS sleeps in his pram during the day, although he doesn’t seem that keen on it!

I'd be terrified to leave a small baby in a room elsewhere for 3 hours even with monitors.

@aimzxd I don’t get this. I can hear my baby cry from anywhere in our home, so if he were to start crying I could be straight in.

Sounds like he’s doing pretty well with sleep in the evening as it is I wouldn’t rock the boat or stress yourself out by trying to get him into the cot earlier. You could gradually try and move it by 5/10 mins but it really won’t last forever so try not to stress and enjoy the cuddles

Its not about crying. Babies use the sound of you breathing to regulate their own. Google sudden infant death syndrome. I cant believe midwives didnt warn you of it, they had me a nervous wreck.

my baby never slept in the moses basket downstairs and would only nap on us (until he hit about 6 months) I just used to put him in his next to me upstairs and sit and watch Tv on my ipad so i was in the same room as him. It wasn’t ideal but i figured it wouldn’t be forever.

@aimzxd thanks - I didn’t realize that! DS’s crib is near the foot of the bed (due to our extremely awkward shaped bedroom). I’m concerned now that he isn’t close enough to me and DH to hear our breathing at night.

Your baby is fine in a cot/crib/modes basket anywhere within the same room but putting the baby alone in a room to sleep under 6 months does increase the chances of SIDS slightly. More than that though tiny babies are not designed to sleep alone which is why many are happier very close to their parent/carer. Think of a baby ape, wouldn't expect them to be seen sleeping alone.

Our DD slept wherever we were until 6 months when we started putting her down to sleep in the cot in the evening rather than keeping her in the front room with us until we went to bed.
I was aware of the SIDS thing but didn't consciously do this, 6 mths just seemed the right time to start introducing her to going to bed properly.

We're probably not the best example though, she's just turned 2 and still in our room. We don't co sleep but she's still comfortable in her cot bed, I like having her in with us and none of us have a worse night sleep because of it.