Did anybody else struggle to take a 9 week old out?

[Maggie90]

I am completely knackered!

I have been out three days in a row and just want to stay in for 2 weeks now.

I am very relaxed at home with baby and we have no problems. I have recently started to meet up with friends and family outside and it is so difficult.

Baby is very overstimulated and becomes tired but resists sleep and I become a nervous wreck with the crying and loss of routine. He doesn’t like to be in his Pram for too long either.

I take everything I could possibly need with me but we still get in a bit of a mess. He doesn’t really like to be put down either so is quite difficult.

I will just add, every body I have met up with (two different groups) are all isolating due to being pregnant and living with people with health issues so none of us go to shops or people’s houses and we are only meeting with each other.

Is this just really difficult because we have only just started going out or is having a 9 week old pre covid this difficult? I am thinking about only leaving the house once a week as I am just so tired.

We have been going for country walks and garden meet ups so nothing majorly stressful!

Honestly everyone told me, “you need to get out with the baby” etc etc however I just didn’t enjoy taking her out a lot. It gave me anxiety as like yours she didn’t like her pram or the car much, and I stressed about having bottles, where to change nappies etc

Now she’s ten months and I really like taking her out, she loves the stroller part of the pram to look around and nosy at people. Plus she’s in a routine so I know what she will need and when.

Your baby is so so little, stay in for a while if you like- have a rest your allowed! It used to stress me feeling like I wasn’t taking her out enough till I said sod I’m having a few sofa days. Of course fresh air is good for you both but don’t get stressed about it x

Just skip it! I agree with PP - your baby is only 9 weeks and doesn't need to go out at all. If you prefer to stay at home then stay at home. Your still in the 4th trimester too.

I promise you it does get easier though - my second baby has just turned 16 weeks and It's only really now that I'm more settled with leaving the house with him.

This is exactly how I feel. I didn’t leave the house for the first 6 weeks, even for walks because I was too scared and now I feel like I need to over compensate and show him the world but I think I may have to just say sod it too.

I am meeting with pregnant friend on Monday and then I’m staying in all week.

Will be so nice when we can just potter without as much faff, although I do love the new baby stage- just at home!

If your happy and baby is happy wether that’s at home or out and about then I would take that as a win. Make life easy for your self when you can

DD was exactly the same. Don't feel pressured to go out if you don't enjoy it, stay home and enjoy your baby. If you have a garden, you could take your baby out for 5 minutes if you'd like fresh air?

After the 4th trimester, DD was sleeping a little better (mostly in her cot, rarely in her pram) and found getting out with longer waking periods a lot easier.

Now she's in her pram with a chair rather than a bassinet, she loves going out and about. Where before, even a 15 minute stroll in the pram with bassinet would make me nervous.

Don't sweat the small stuff, things will get easier and be kind to yourself.

I’ve been out with my six month old for a walk most days. But mainly because I have an older child too who needs entertaining and there is a limit to how much TV we can watch!

I don’t find it difficult because I put the baby in a sling and we are always on the move, so she stays asleep. I think sitting down in one place outside can be more difficult as they can start getting too hot or bored and get cranky. If that happens you could maybe take them off for a short walk to get them to nap while your family continue talking. But only go out if you want to, it’s hard enough with a young baby in lockdown and your family should be understanding about that.

Have you been staying in other than when you're meeting people? I've been out for a walk (now sometimes incorporating a picnic) with my 11 week old pretty much every day BUT we have tended to work around his schedule. So, for example, I'll wait until he's due a sleep and then put him in the sling and head out. In the buggy he's a little bit more flexible and may tolerate being awake for a while, but if we're stopping anywhere I need to plan for him coming out of it and eg lying in a picnic blanket under the trees for a while, and maybe needing to feed or be taken off for a wander to chill out. Picnics sometimes need to be two-stage things where we move on to a new spot if, for example, it's too breezy where we are for him to concentrate on a feed. On the occasions we've met up with someone else, I've been pretty clear with them that they'll have to deal with our schedule however it turns out on the day - so, I don't commit to definitely being somewhere at a very specific time.

We'd been walking the whole time but the picnics began because I was starting to get freaked out that I'd never really been anywhere because of lockdown, where normally we'd probably have been out seeing friends/going to activities/having a coffee/whatever quite often. So we had An Outing and went to the seaside, just to break my growing dread of actually doing it, and since then we've quite often had a picnic when we go out for a walk. If at the moment you're generally not leaving the house except to go to these meet ups, I'd really recommend getting out more, so you can get more used to doing it as a not-weird thing. And, if meeting up with others, try to set things up so you have a broad window of when you'll get there.

I actually worry more about appointments - even just ones over Zoom or whatever! - because the fixed time seems really intimidating to hit accurately!

It is a skill. Which you will learn to master over time
Every time you do it, it becomes easier ☺️. It is just a lottttt in the beginning. And then you get the hang of it. And then you will laugh at how hard it was at first.
You'll be OK op. Really

You don’t have to do anything if it’s your first, it won’t make any difference to the baby. I always found it easier with a sling - neither of mine have ever settled well in a pram but both were very happy in the sling and would sleep there for hours. I have had to take my newborn out nearly every day as I have a toddler to entertain as well, and i am finding it so much easier now that we can meet up with people. It just goes to show how different it is with more than one child

I do think that part of it is that you aren’t used to it (I certainly found it strange having to sort out the changing bag a couple of weeks ago for a longer trip out than I had ever taken with this baby because of lockdown) - but then that’s not necessarily a bad thing and perhaps without being in lockdown you might have done too much too soon for you

I found it so stressful with my first. Second child I was desperate to get out and about without a care in the world. It is hard at first, go easy on yourself.

I agree with PP. Don't go out unless you enjoy it. If it's stressful, just stay home. This time is so fleeting.

I found it so difficult and just not worth the stress half the time. Maybe try one major outing a week and then just go on long walks everyday to get out in the fresh air and see the sky and grass and trees. Take it easy.

I agree with PP, it gets better the more you do it.
Also with my second ds, I stopped making plans to meet at 'x' time as baby didn't have set feed and nap times. I would just say 'we'll visit in the morning/after lunch/ in the evening' then leave home whenever ds is ready and just finished a feed. This should work when visiting others who are going to be at home anyway.

I could imagine it being very difficult to go out when your baby is born is the middle of a pandemic as you struggle with places to change baby aka having to change them outside in the pram or on your knee etc. As pp have said that it's a skill and it gets easier.
My little one was born last July in the middle of the heat wave. We found it was cooler sometimes to be out and about.
First time out when she was 3 days old and to my Mams. Then built it up from there we spent most of his paternity having a little outing most days.
I was very used to my niece who was high needs as used to eating out with one handed and changing her while it and about.
It does get easier OP take care xx

Just set yourself a really low target. A short walk around the block every day. The fresh air alone will help you both immensely.

And over time the fact that you can do this will bolster your confidence.

I have a bridge over a river near me and I used to aim to do the longer walk to, across the bridge, and home again, once a week.

Then if anyone text to meet I'd say "Oh I'm doing this walk on Wednesday if you want to join me?" That way no pressure as I was already on a planned walk, and we could just chat and stroll for 30 mins or so.

Hi OP,

You'll get the hang of it & gain confidence & suddenly it'll seem like no big deal.
I'm curious as to what might be overstimulating your baby? At 9 wks I still had mine in a sling so he slept away. Even when we got to the buggy phase, I used to time walks for after a feed & nappy change & he'd sleep away & I'd be delighted he was getting some fresh air (pre-corona). Also I'd have cracked up if I had to stay indoors. I walked everywhere (no car at the time). Maybe your baby feels the fresh air chill & is not used to it/doesn't quite like it? Or is his sleep interrupted to make the meeting appointment ..or maybe too many people. It could be anything really. It can be hard to know with a new baby wjat the triggers are but you'll get there. If you are happier at home, then leave the meet-ups for now but, as long as it is safe from corona, get out & get some fresh air at a time that suits yoir baby - it will do you both good. Good luck

Yeah I don't really agree with the "get out every day even if just for a walk" thing - I did that with ds1 and it was exhausting- I didn't feel better at all. I'm much kinder to myself with ds2 - I only went out when I fancied it and allowed myself rest days after bad nights. It was a much nicer experience. It gets a lot easier going out once they don't need so much stuff and you're not having to factor in frequent feeds/naps etc.

id try a sling if you can, I found dds would nap in it out if I stood and jiggled. or could you meet up with them for a walk as the motion in the buggy might help? it's possible baby is more over stimulated because not used to being near shops or new environments etc but 9 weeks can be tricky.

To be fair I will say that I personally go out every day because I'd go mad if I didn't - I took the baby out for a walk when he was 2 days old and we'd just got back from hospital - and if you don't want to then of course don't. But I do think that getting to grips with it is something that comes with practice, so if you aren't getting out much at all then doing it a bit more might actually be confidence boosting. I believe getting out in the daylight is also supposed to be helpful for baby's sleep, although of course if you have a garden you could always achieve that there without the faff of properly leaving the house.