Is my 2 year old normal

[Wingingthis]

I’m a naturally anxious mum so may be overthinking this but my daughter seems to be slightly different to other kids her age. Are these normal toddler behaviours?

• absolutely terrified of strangers. Pre COVID if we had guests round she was scream and run into another room & hide in the corner or sit on lap burying her head into me
• she grinds her teeth and shakes out of excitement (I’ve been telling her for weeks to not grind her teeth but she keeps doing it several times a day)
• very specific about who does what eg. Mummy puts her to bed, daddy puts her in the car seat etc. Has almighty tantrum if other parent tries to do it
• literally does not sleep. She’s up at 4:30/5 everyday no matter what we try

Saying all this she is a very bright little girl, has really good speech etc and loves imaginary play eg. Her play kitchen or happy land toys/dolls house

What time does she go to sleep?

She goes to sleep around 6 - we’ve tried nap, no nap, earlier bedtime, later bedtime. Black out blinds, grow clock .. you name it 😩
She also wakes about 2-3 time a night

Oh forgot to add...

Really funny about textures like baby wipes, kitchen sponge, cleaning cloth etc she Will freak out if one is even near her

If you have any concerns then contact your health visitor. Being scared of strangers is quite normal, children like routine more than others, some children never sleep through the night.

I'd try and not let her fall asleep at 6 and push for 7 to see if she will sleep in later.

Not sure about the teeth grinding or shaking, but my daughter was very similar. She has only just grown out of being scared of strangers (even some who weren't strangers, like our lovely neighbour and local shop assistant!) And she's 3. She is still particular about who does what, Daddy does teeth before bed and Mummy does stories. It can be a pain but now she knows she doesn't always get what she wants, I think some of it is trying to have some control in their world where they have very little?! And yeah sleep is still hit and miss! Our DD isn't up for the day until half 6 but bedtime is about 8-9pm l. Doesn't matter how early we start bedtime 😴

She seems like she’s sleeping well on paper. 11 hours in a row is great. It’s possible that as she’s an early talker she might be more intelligent than your average toddler and so is anxious about things other kids her age wouldn’t even notice. Everything you described points to anxiety. If possible cut down on screen time and try playing with her in a less structured way - she might need less of a daily routine / comfort zone. For example you take her out in the car - if she kicks off let her and keep doing it.

The teeth grinding and shaking my son also does, he's 2. Ive has some concerns myself, I'd contact a health visitor if you are concerned.

I’d say that was normal.

Why don’t you try wake to sleep. I had to do this with my middle one.

For three days when she wakes up check the time. Dd2 always woke up at 2:30am and then woke for the day at 6.00am

Then set your alarm for 15 mins before she is due to wake up and gentle disturb her but not to the point she wakes. This will pull her out of a sleep cycle and start a new one. After about four days of this they go past this wake up time naturally as her body alarm clock is set for waking up at that time.

Also how long does she sleep during the day? Because the quality of her sleep during the day effects the sleep during the night.

The baby sleep whisperer book is really good I recommend it.

I have got a son who is almost three.

He is also very particular about who does what, for example, he likes his dad to help him with his cereal in the morning and me to do his teeth and get him dressed. If we try and alternate those roles then he goes a bit crazy.

It is only only over the last 3 months that he has started sleeping through. Prior to that he would be up at least twice, sometimes three times, every night. He would go to bed at 7pm and wake up at about 6am, with his wake-ups inbetween. He now sleep through from 7pm to 6am.

He also had a phase where he was very weird about textures - in particular, he would go crazy if I tried to put something warm on him, for example if I had just taken some socks off the radiator and started putting them on him. He would get hysterical, scream at me to take them off and be really distressed - his response did make me think that something was ‘wrong’. He doesn’t do that anymore though.

He also gets very distressed if his hands get dirty with either food, paint, sand etc.

I just think some children have some odd quirky behaviours that they just grow out of.

Saying that, my 6 year old son still has weird quirks about textures, for example he hates wearing clothes as he says everything is uncomfortable on his skin. He also really, really hates it if I wet my hands and then use them to try and rearrange his bed-head hairstyle. He goes crazy, runs away and begs me not to do it because he “doesn’t like the feel of it” and he often cries about it too.

Definitely speak to your HV or GP if you are really worried but sometimes children just do strange things.