Partner keeps waking baby up 😡

[Greygoose21]

Hey all,

Quick back story - my partner has always set 6 alarms to wake himself up in the mornings. Every 10 mins starting at 05:20 to 06:20 as that’s the time he has to get up for work. It’s never bothered me. Whilst I was pregnant I kept saying to him that he needs to get out of the habit of doing it as there will be a baby in the room. After she was born he had a month off work so we had no problems. He then went back to work and started all of this alarm nonsense again ! Waking her up unnecessarily. After him being back at work for like 9 weeks he then got furloughed due to coronavirus. A week before he went back to work I said to him now is the perfect opportunity to reset your body clock. Get into the habit of setting 1 alarm and knowing that when it goes off u just have to get up. It’s not fair on our daughter or me as I’m the one having to deal with her when she wakes up. At the weekend she will quite easily sleep until 8/9 but he’s waking her up in the week at half 5. What can I do. I’ve had several conversations with him about it but he’s just not changing or getting the message.

Thanks

Hand him the now-awake baby, go back to bed yourself.

There are plenty of things he could do about this if he wanted to but it seems like he won’t because he doesn’t think waking the baby up is his problem. So make it his problem.

Move him into the spare room.

Agreed with @GoldenOmber
Make it his problem, he will soon stop it.

Either spare room, or when first alarm goes off he is handed the baby,he's got 50mins to get her back to sleep before he needs to be up

Agrees. He has the baby from the time he wakes her up.

Fuck that. Let him sleep on the sofa. His behaviour is absolutely ridiculous

My partner did this and it wound me up! Always woke DS. He used to set them and I used to delete all but 2. He soon learnt he doesn't need 27282 alarms on the go.

Bonkers

When hes asleep move the alarm clock across the room so he has to get out of bed to turn it off?

Will wake the baby yes but hes up then at least and might get the hint...

Either get up at 6.15 or fuck off. He doesnt need all those alarms ffs it's just done to share the misery.

Spare room or sofa!
That is very selfish!

He’s a selfish arse.

Either he has to sleep somewhere that his shenanigans don’t wake dc.
Or
You can buy under pillow alarms that vibrate for deaf people to use.
Get him one if those. He will be the only one woken presumably. Not sure if the whole bed shakes right enough, so you may get woken too, perhaps another poster may know how gentle they are?

If you get one, set it up for five mins before wakey wakey time, free not to tell him about it. and enjoy the show when he about craps himself when it goes off....

I used to do this when single or still do now if my partner is working away - I couldn't imagine being so selfish as to do it when I'm sharing a bed with someone else let alone have a baby sleeping in the room. You need to stand up for yourself, he's being a prick.

Tell him to get a Fitbit or similar where alarms vibrate on your wrist to wake you up so it doesn't wake anyone else up.

And like others said, give him the baby from 5am.

Wow! I'm pretty speechless at his complete selfishness and lack of consideration.
Lack of sleep is torture.

Dump a bucket of water on him when the first one goes off. Then he won't need the others.

The key issue here to solve the problem is to make it his problem rather than yours, as has been said. So he sleeps elsewhere, preferably. Or you do. You don't have to tolerate this but you can force it to stop.

@Elieza my partner is deaf and has one of these. Would not recommend as a they rattle the whole bed and wake me up every morning!

OP let me just say as a disclaimer your DH sounds like a right arse so you shouldn’t have to but is baby old enough to be put in their own room?

Thanks Thunder, I knew someone out there would have experience of one of those alarms, isnt MN great for finding out about general stuff!

Sounds like the vibrating Fitbit a PP suggested would be a good option for the OP’s (and indeed your partner)

Fuck me that is unbelievably selfish of him. He's not a teenager who needs multiple reminders to get him up for a Saturday job or school on a day he can't be arsed. He's a dad now, you're meant to be a team and work together to make everyone's lives more enjoyable and less stressful. He's being a twat.

Sofa.. goodbye

sorry to say, but this attitude does not bode well for the future of the relationship.
can i be the first to say, LTB !
initially by departing with babe to spare room, then if no contrition, consider your options. is he like this in other situations ? ie, selfish.

Kill him.

Seriously, that is just plain selfish.

Does he use the alarm on his mobile phone? If so could he set the alarm to vibrate only and either sleep with it under his pillow or on the floor if it's carpeted? That would reduce the noise a lot but should still be enough to wake him up. Maybe also cut down to just one or two snoozes. My DH likes a couple of snoozes in the morning and that's what worked for us. If he refused I would've told him to sleep on the sofa. . . .

How selfish.
It wasn't acceptable before you had a baby and it's even less so now.

This is downright cruel. Especially if he's the kind of guy who would let her cry after waking her up, meaning you don't want to just hand over the baby so you can listen to her cry. He should be the one to go in the spare room but if he doesn't, I would go to spare room.