Daughter who thinks she's a racing driver 😬

[Howdidimakeitthisfar]

1st time poster so bear with 😁 I have 3 girls, and have today found myself in a situation I really need some advice on. My middle daughter (21) passed her driving test last year, and has already had one accident doing £1,800 worth of damage to her VW Golf. Today she took my youngest (18) to a much needed Maccy D's, but before they got home, my youngest sent me a photo that showed they were doing 104mph!! She begged me not to drop her in it with her sister, as she doesn't want to be seen as a grass. Obviously I'm furious with my eldest, but how do I confront her about her reckless, and quite frankly, dangerous (not to mention illegal) driving without dropping the other one in it?!?

I've been driving for 40+ years and I actually WAS taught to drive by a racing driver, and I've never driven at 104mph.
Your daughter is an irresponsible arsehole

Take her keys.

How did it go op? I'd of said she was spotted by a concerned neighbour and see how she reacted. Whether she got the seriousness etc. That reaction would then help me decide what consequences would be required.

can you get one of those trackers on the car to reduce insurance if they drive well?

@toomboom you can get insurance without a black box. I never had one from age 18. It just costs more

@CorianderLord My son tried to do this, but no insurer would accept him.
There were a few who he possibly could have been insured with but they wanted massively increased prices, like £4000/5000 per year or more.
I know many more young people who also can't get insured without a black box, including a friends 25 yr old who recently passed his test.

He was 17 when he passed his test two years ago. I am not sure how old you are, but if you are older the rules have quite possibly changed since you passed your test, or you have just been very lucky.

Get a friend to call the police and say they saw this car going really fast on (whatever road they were on) at (around the time it was) and give the number plate of DD's golf.

The police will come round and warn her. It doesn't go on her record as there's no real evidence. But it should shake her up.

Or just take the car keys off her. I'd absolutely do that. She's endangering herself, your other child, and anybody on the road.

Or get a black box. Yes get black box insurance.

Personally though I would take VERY drastic action. Wtf.

Give the 18 year old driving lessons and the sister's car.

She's 21? I would have laughed in my mum's face at that age.
I didn't live at home though and paid for my own car and insurance.
If you own both, remove them if you like but none of this 'telling her off' bullshit she is an adult!

Really? I’d tell one of my middle aged friends off if they drove at that speed with one of my kids in the car. I’d certainly tell my own child off for the same.....adult or not.

She will lose her licence if caught, probably the best case scenario, before she kills someone.

My DS has just turned 19, passed his test at 17, he has a black box, he is a very sensible driver and I still worry when he goes out in the car, not because of his driving, but because of idiots on the road, like your daughter.

Why are you putting a smiley face and laughing like this is a joke? You are as bad as her. This is despicable behaviour and just asking to have an accident and kill herself, her sister and other innocent people. Why are you letting her take your other daughter out in the car if this is how she behaves? She's probably got her irresponsible behaviour from you as you think it's funny. It's disgusting....tell her to sort herself out and act like a responsible human being before she destroys your family and someone else's.

There is a very powerful video which shows the consequence of reckless driving which starts with the police arriving at a house to tell the parents their child has passed away and the concequences and ripples afterwards. If she doesn't understand the concequences of her actions then this will work if she doesn't care then that is a different matter all together.

Look up learn to live in your local area when they start up again take her and in the meantime see if they have any online material in the meantime.

Having worked with someone's whose child passed away in a car accident through dangerous driving and working with a young person who served time in jail for killing someone you do not want either option.
Driving carelessly destroys lives.

Inform the police. It’s really important your irrespoonsible daughter loses her license. My brother liked to speed at that age too but he was never so thick as to do 104mph - that isn’t normal at all

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-50102838

Show your absolutely appalling daughter this. She was driving faster than this man who killed a pregnant woman (9 months) and her unborn child. If reading about the devastation left behind- a little boy with no mother or expected little brother, a man widowed and never getting to meet his second child- has no effect on her, she should never be allowed to drive again.

My DS's insurance company actually disabled his black box from their end after 12 months as apparently they couldn't apply the 3 years no claims bonus on his policy whilst the black box was connected. The fact that he had 'earned' the first 2 year's NCB by being a named driver on DH"s car (from his 17th birthday) which he drove only occasionally obviously doesn't count! I was not impressed as i think he drives quite aggressively although he was seemingly rated 'good' when the box was connected as it clearly can't see everything.

If my DS was driving at those speeds he would definitely have they car removed and be catching the bus for a while.

OP what did you do?
Do you pay for the insurance or car?
At 21 I had already live on my own for 5 years. If my mum had taken my car keys that would have been theft. Had my mum tried to install a black box insurance on my car that would have been.. well I have no idea. Illegal definitely. Vandalism perhaps? Fraud?

OP your daughter is a selfish, idiotic prick and when (not if) her reckless behaviour causes an accident, I can only hope that no innocent person or family is affected too.

Tell her that a friend witnessed her driving and has told you. Scream and shout at her if you have to. If she lives with you I guess you could threaten eviction if she doesn't agree to your terms (ie. black box). If she's paying her own insurance, particularly at a higher cost due to her other crash, then perhaps the reality of having to pay rent, utilities, council tax, food etc as well as car payments and insurance she may be financially forced to comply and tow the line?

My DD is 19 and doesn’t have a black box, she has been driving for two years. A police officer friend of ours believes they’re dangerous as you’re constantly slowing down/speeding up a bit ... and people desperate to get past you, right up your boot.

However in the OPs case a black box is def needed, I’d be raging if DD did that!