Grateful for drug and alcohol advice from ASD mum (as in you're ASD or your teen is)

[alisonfb2020]

My HFASD (just turned 16) daughter has confessed she's desperate to try booze and ecstasy. It's become a fixation and I'm at a loss because I know it's a matter of time before she tries both and tbh I'm probably more worried about alcohol but both spell disaster.

She's been obsessively researching on places like the frank website but of course has no sense of how immature she is (her height and IQ belie the fact that's she emotionally still very very - very - young). She is also very sexually immature and her logical brain comes out with some shockers (eg if I'm raped it won't matter because I'll probably not feel anything because here's an interesting fact did you know alcohol is a numbing agent and often affects memory so I'll also probably forget etc). At least when I was younger I just did everything behind my parents back - but I wasn't ASD and her honesty breaks my heart because she's so flipping open and vulnerable - and stubborn!

So unlike most I am unbelievably thankful for lockdown 😂 Combined with her natural tendency to isolate I've bought time but I know this is a ticking time bomb. She won't have any problem finding what she wants either - she is unbelievably resourceful. When I hear of aspergers teens hacking in to NASA or the FBI I totally get it.

Grateful for ideas from those who have direct experience of teen/ adult female aspergers. I really am terrified that whatever I say or do could have terrible repercussions. I'm also happy to pay for advice if anyone knows a Tony Attwood type in the UK?

(I get a bit lost here new to this, someone suggested better post here than on another section for special needs hope this is the right place).

And by the way - I don't mean anything in a derogatory way. She is phenomenal. But her amazing force could be so destructive at this tender age.

Sorry no advice but did she say why she wants to try? Have you perhaps tried telling her to research what it can cause? I mean ASD kids respond better to logic so providing her with a logical reason why this is dangerous may work.

I would try to have a chat with her about how it may affect her development, brain, future but not to scare her as a person, just show her examples of people who started on drugs and ended up badly. Not in an overly emotional way, as do not appeal to her emotions, appeal to her logic.

Can you steer her obsession in the direction of the effects of drugs and alcohol on the body? Liver damage/addiction/death?

Thanks both. Mainly ecstasy (for now but she's been researching everything). I'll try and find some research on how it affects ASD. Most worried about alcohol at moment TBH because it's so readily accessible and most likely to lead to risky behaviours. (I intercepted delivery of fake ID - this time) I suppose I can't see her being ready when she's 18 either so am v aware that this is a marathon not a sprint. Logic points are helpful - I'll get research in to motion.

My best friend in secondary school told me about how her dad's friends died the first time he ever tried pills and that's turned me off pills completely, I'd be more worried about her trying ecstasy than alcohol, you can give her alcohol and a safe space to experiment, give her a glass of fruity wine with dinner as a treat one Friday/saturday night?

She's refusing to do that which is a whole other story of strange logic. I've been trying to book appointments with so called experts to get some advice. They're eager to take money for diagnosis but run a mile when it comes to being useful. My daughter is refusing to see any experts and TBH a lot of them seem to be charlatans. And a 5 year waiting list for Tony Attwood who seems to be the only expert who seems to really genuinely get this.