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Original poster

Son bitten at nursery

15 replies

KatyB222 · 15/06/2020 22:28

DS age 3 was bitten at nursery- I'm not so worried about the bite but he's not telling me anything around what happened. Other than it was his friend (same age).

Is it normal to get no detail out of them? I'm trying not to ask too much.

Do I just leave it, or is there a way of trying to tease out some kind of explanation?

OP posts:

twinnywinny14 · 15/06/2020 22:29

Did the nursery not tell you what happened?

SandieCheeks · 15/06/2020 22:29

He's probably forgotten about it. What details do you need?

intheningnangnong · 15/06/2020 22:31

They have dealt with it. Unless it happens again I doubt you’ll get more detail. What would you do anyway? Talk to them about what they are doing, but frankly, kids bite.

Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 15/06/2020 22:32

No usually at that age they don't give much detail. He probably doesn't even remember.

The nursery staff can't have eyes on every single child, every minute of the day, so they might not have seen what happened.

Sweetooth92 · 15/06/2020 22:32

Our nursery won’t give details. Just he was bitten and how they treated it. I’m always just relived that he was bitten and not the biter! Doesn’t happen often but its part of little ones learning-some bite. Often in frustration/excitement/when teething.

I would never push my son for details, I don’t like to encourage these things to be an issue or give him worries

Doyoumind · 15/06/2020 22:34

They don't give details of who it was in case the parents cause trouble for that child or their parents. It happens a lot at that age.

pinksquash13 · 15/06/2020 22:35

I wouldn't worry. Unfortunately biting is very common. I'd imagine that if he isn't talking about it, it probably isn't bothering him. Staff may have spoken to other child and parent but maybe no adult witnessed it and it's very difficult/pointless to try and get an accurate story of events from 3 year olds (generally). If it becomes a common incident then speak to child and nursery more.

june2007 · 15/06/2020 22:40

They may tell you where and when and perhaps the cause (eg an argument over a toy.) But sometimes the reason is more attention for the other child and you won,t get told more. You def should not be told about the other child

Original poster

KatyB222 · 15/06/2020 22:41

Thanks for such quick replies.. nursery didn't know, I noticed the mark on pick up. I know this is the kind of thing that can happen so I'm not worried about that, it just seemed strange it was it friend so I wanted to try and understand why.. so it's DS that isn't saying much. I don't want to put worries in his head though.. but I hate to think of him being upset and no one being aware.

OP posts:

june2007 · 15/06/2020 22:57

You can ask to see their bitting policy if you are worried that you weren,t kept in the loop, or worried about how they manage things.

twinnywinny14 · 17/06/2020 18:45

Sorry, but I work in a nursery and if one of the child was bitten the staff would know about it! This kind of thing does happen, but staff should be aware of it

Original poster

KatyB222 · 17/06/2020 23:55

@twinnywinny14 how do you mean? My assumption is every child isn't watched 100% of the time

OP posts:

Blackdoggotmytonguestill · 18/06/2020 00:09

Where was the bite? Actual teeth marks? My 2/3yo spent two days telling me that her cousin Ben bit her.
We hadn’t seen him for six months.
I honestly wouldn’t believe any information that he WAS able to provide, even if he claims it happened. The link between fact and whatever popped into their head isn’t great and can’t really be relied upon. I don’t think 3yo’s are traditionally good at explanations or recounting events. They are quite likely to get distracted by minutiae and not remember the main point at all.

twinnywinny14 · 18/06/2020 01:18

@KatyB222 at this age they should be watched all the time. There are often moments when they cannot be seen but if a child is bitten enough for you to notice a mark then they should have noticed it too imo

SandieCheeks · 18/06/2020 09:12

[quote twinnywinny14]@KatyB222 at this age they should be watched all the time. There are often moments when they cannot be seen but if a child is bitten enough for you to notice a mark then they should have noticed it too imo[/quote]
If you work in a nursery then I'm pretty sure you realise that when there is more than one child per adult it isn't possible to watch every child constantly

Of course it is possible for staff not to have witnessed a bite (especially if it was out of the blue/no fuss was made) - if they were eyeballing that particular child there would have been several more who weren't being watched that very moment anyway.

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