Scared to feed baby lumps after choking

[mumof28888]

Hi all
I'm a mum of 2, my youngest being 8 and a half months old. He loves his food and I started weening at 6 months and he took to it straight away. Started properly with the purée now moving on to stage 2 thicker with texture. I started giving him the melty puffs (suitable from 7 months) as part of a snack, he loved them and had been having them for a few weeks, managing fine with them except he's a baby who does like to put quite a lot in his mouth.

2 weeks ago I brought him a different shaped one. I was sat with him while he was eating them, and he coughed whilst one was in his mouth. The food in his mouth got lodged in his throat and he began to silently choke going red/purple. He was sat it his high chair at the time and I immediately got him out and began back slaps. These worked, but this was the most awful scariest moment of my life. I have nightmares about it and I can't get over it.

The thing is now, I'm absolutely terrified of giving him anything like this now. He's still on his stage 2 as I know nothing is in that for him to choke on, but I know at this age he can begin to eat buttery toast and things. I do give him this, but I cut it into the absolute smallest pieces that I know couldn't get lodged in his throat (I think he's developed the pincer grisp on an expert level as he has to pick up the smallest pieces )

I can't get over what happened and I'm so scared that I'm going to set him back development wise by not giving him things to experiment with. He's a very hungry baby and he loves food, I just can't bear to have to go through that again. I think it was the cough he did whilst eating that sucked the food to the back of his throat, alongside the different shape that I tried him with.

Does anyone have any advice or things I can give him that's easier?

I didn't have anything like this with my first.

Oh love I've been there. We started BLW with DD when she was about 6m and the first few weeks were so stressful and scary. What helped me was reading up on choking vs gagging, and (yay lockdown, silver lining) getting DH to hang out with us at meal times so i didn't feel like if she choked i might panic and she might die. She's now 7.5m and really, really good at eating solids, v rarely gags and no choking.

I don't really have any advice except take a deep breath, remember that it is really developmentally important for them to start eating solids and feeding themselves, and just power through. You can do this. Be kind to yourself! Start on easy stuff like soft fruit, or weirdly tougher stuff like bits of steak or raw carrot that they'll struggle to bite through without teeth. It's all about texture, sensation and motor skills. watch like a hawk and reward yourself with tea/cake/gin as necessary.

I think those puffs are quite hard to eat. Maybe try things like banana which you can separate into thirds. Or roast sweet potatoes which goes mushy. Don’t put too much in front of them. I also never gave whole big chunks so they could ram it all in. I always chopped things up even if soft. My daughter choked at around 8 months old. Went blue and floppy and I phoned 999 and did back slaps. I still panic at the thought and she’s 2.5 now.

Be reassured that by feeding food instead of mush, your child will be learning to chew and assess food, the mush just teaches them to swallow without chewing.

@SomeoneElseEntirelyNow
Thankyou I'm going to start trying but like you say , watch him like a hawk

@ThickFast thankyou, I've never tried him with banana but I'm going to try him with that

@GarlicMcAtackney
That's true, he's actually a really good chewer he pushes things to the side of his mouth and chews them. I do think it was maybe the inhale he did before the cough that caused him to choke while he was eating. I'll start trying him with more

Dinner time today has included bits of cheese and banana he handled it really well 🎉 I on the other hand was on pins :)

It's bound to shake you up OP, but what you need to try and remember is that you have already encountered it, and did bloody marvelously and managed to deal with it. It will take time to build your confidence back up, so be kind to yourself.

@Sandybval Thankyou so much

Sounds good. I found the beginning bits of weaning so stressful. It’s much better when they get older.

@ThickFast very true, I panic about everything he has at the minute

Hi op I found some videos on YouTube so helpful, I can't remember the name but one was a peadtrician in America and her videos were great in understand what was choking and what was gagging.
It was amazing to see as she explained how babies have control and know what they can't managed, they spit out the larger pieces.
I also use to run a nursery, blw had only just begun and we went on the guidence of food being big enough to hold and not small enough to choke on.
Favorites were banana, whole.
Whole potatoes
Broccoli trees
Carrot sticks, cooked
Best of luck, I have experienced choking many of times and it's absolutely bloody terrifying.

I am feeling exactly the same about my 12 month old DD at the minute and its making me scared to feed her. Today i tried ham, cheese and tiny pieces of bread with soft cheese on and she threw it all up! I tried giving her a sandwich last weekend and she was choking/gagging on it. Feels like the other babies in my antenatal group are eating all sorts of things. Im with you, its so hard!

I really worry about choking and I’ve got a baby with a very strong gag reflex, every time he gags I panic!

Could you try some things like soft cooked carrot and cooked broccoli? Things that pretty much dissolve?

@Putapeonyinyourpocket thankyou! I'm honestly terrified but I can't have him on puree forever :)

@rainbowcakes @Sunshinegirl82
my first was so different, she was having so much early on and managing it fine. My second can be so dramatic when he eats! He coughs splutters and sometimes looks like he's choking. The actual one choking incident was definately a choke, he was silent and getting very purple, it was awful. Hoping to put my fear aside as much as I can and start trying different things.