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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Would hyou leave a nearly 11 year old alone in the house for a short while?

58 replies

lisalisa · 23/09/2007 19:54

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WideWebWitch · 23/09/2007 22:37

Can your dh not be there?
Neighbour?

StarryStarryNight · 23/09/2007 22:39

sorry I misread, thought it was in the evening. If it was in the morning, and just for so short time, I probably would have. But panicked about it too, lol!

southeastastra · 23/09/2007 22:40

yes 11 is fine and 11 year old girls are very sensible.

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StarryStarryNight · 23/09/2007 22:40

Is there no neighbour you can inform about the arrangement so you dc can call if something happens?

seeker · 23/09/2007 22:41

I would.

UCM · 23/09/2007 22:45

I have not experienced this as my LO's are really little.

But I would say no. Simply because you need justification for doing so. Your head is saying yes, your heart is possibly saying no.

If in doubt, don't.

Original poster

lisalisa · 23/09/2007 22:45

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Magicmayhem · 23/09/2007 22:49

7 minutes would probably be OK... and he is asleep, if he woke up he would be ok still in his cot
a friend told me she leaves her just 11 year old with her 2 and a half year old while she took her youngest swimming, and he's awake.. I was shocked at that...

dollyk · 23/09/2007 22:51

no way what if something happened

Original poster

lisalisa · 23/09/2007 22:58

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tori32 · 23/09/2007 22:58

SSN there is no law stating how old a child can be left for and at what age its acceptable ( learned that during child protection training ). It depends on whether the parent feels it is safe. However, if something did happen then neglect charges could potentially be brought.

tori32 · 23/09/2007 23:04

Sorry I have just got the very wrong end of the stick, definately not looking after a 2 year old. I thought it was just her on her own. sorry. To much responsibility for 11yr old if something happened.

AussieSim · 23/09/2007 23:05

Worst case scenario based on a few incidents her in Oz over the last few years would be FIRE.

HonoriaGlossop · 23/09/2007 23:33

I wouldn't. i can totally see the temptation - and you're having to stretch yourself in all directions to do the best for your kids, but I wouldn't do it. it is fine for kids to HELP with their siblings but sole charge is different IMO and too much responsibility.

Why not ask your DS to help you get a solution? Explain that it's a real pain if the baby's sleep is disturbed and he's grumpy the rest of the day; would he be able to walk there with another boy from the club? Would another club member be willing to pick him up on the way if their parents are driving? Obviously you may not be comfortable with that, I don't know how well you know the other parents...

southeastastra · 23/09/2007 23:49

it will be fine try it

StarryStarryNight · 24/09/2007 00:10

Actually, forget I said I would.

I just remembered something that happened back home. My neighbour had a 16 year old and a 3 year old. She had to go into work for a an hour or so, and left her 3 year old son with her 16 year old daughter, thinking this was fine. Meanwhile her daughter got bored, took her 3 year old brother to visit a friend, a 12 year old girl, down the street. They were playing outside the 12 year olds house, when the 16 year olds school friends walked past, and the 16 year old decided to leave her brother with the 12 year old, and went with her friends. Now, it is part of the story that the 12 year old lived on a pier.

So, the mother comes home from work, looks for her children, and can find neither.

It was hours before the truth unravelled. While her 16 year old had merrily been hanging out with her mates, her brother fell of the pier and drowned, and the 12 year old was so scared she ran home to hide.

Sure, this will not repeat, it is a totally different scenario, but you cannot foresea what will happen even within 10 minutes of leaving your home.

WideWebWitch · 24/09/2007 07:31

Yes but we're talking seven minutes here. Possibly with being connected to her mum via a mobile phone.
In those circs I'd do it.

Wallace · 24/09/2007 07:59

yes I would.

harpsichordcarrier · 24/09/2007 08:38

Yes, of course.

mymama · 24/09/2007 08:48

I have left my 9 year old home alone while I picked ds1 up from school or a party. A 10 minute round trip. I take ds2 (4) with me.

I leave my mobile number and dh's mobile number and lock all the doors with strict instructions not to answer. She could get out if there was a fire though. She is allowed to answer the phone if it rings but must never say she is alone, that her mum is busy and will call back.

I telephone dh before I leave and as soon as I get home. If dh hasn't heard from me within 20 mins of me leaving home he calls me. That is our safety measure in case I have an accident. The plan is if he can't get me on mobile he is to come home.

I am more worried about me having an accident then a fire or a burglar.

SSSandy2 · 24/09/2007 09:00

yes

Hallgerda · 24/09/2007 09:06

Agree with Kewcumber. But I let my eight year old make his own way to the local park - I've found giving him some independence has made him considerably more sensible and responsible.

Anna8888 · 24/09/2007 09:08

Yes, for 15-20 minutes max.

I have left my stepson (when he was 9) with my two year old daughter (awake) for 10-15 minutes while I have popped out to the shops.

Original poster

lisalisa · 24/09/2007 13:57

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curiouscat · 24/09/2007 14:14

I occasionally leave ds9 alone while collecting dd1 or dd2 from playdates. Never more than 10 mins. Rules are 'no phone, no door' meaning he mustn't answer the telephone or open the door. I reason that genuine visitors will come back or call my mobile and don't want ds9 to be worried by it. He also goes to the shop to buy a newspaper for us, just round the block from us.

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