Crying peaks at 6 weeks - is this true?

[newmum234]

My LO is crying loads recently and often I can’t seem to identify any reason for it, which I’m finding very stressful. I just read that baby’s crying tends to peak at 6 weeks and then start to reduce after that. I was curious whether other mums have found this to be the case? I need to know there’s an end in sight for my sanity’s sake!

Also, my baby just never seems happy or content. He’s either feeding, sleeping or crying and rarely smiles - probably once or twice a day if I’m lucky, and even then it could just be gas. I read another (old) thread on MN where someone said their 6 w/o baby laughs and smiles when put on his playmat - mine has never laughed! Why is my baby seemingly so miserable all the time - could there be something wrong?

My baby was exactly the same. He is 15 weeks now and such a joy.

From birth until about 12 weeks he was so miserable. If he wasnt crying he was whinging. Really does get you down. He isnt the best sleeper either. If we put him down he would whinge. Sat him on knee he would whinge. In the pram or car seat he would whinge. Some times I honestly thought 'what have I done having a baby'

Have a read up on colic. It literally described my baby. Its just one of those things you really have to ride out but yes I also heard it peaks about 6 weeks. I cant say it did for us that I remember but it dosent mean it wonr for you.

Lockdown also dosent help. When his crying was so bad I'd have probably roped in our parents to help.

Hope you are okay

Have a look at Purple Crying

It sounds completely normal to me, my LO peaked probably after 6 weeks, Id say he never really settled into seeming content playing on his own until about 5 months. He'd do short spurts on his own but never enough to get anything done.
They have a big brain development leap from about 3/4 months old as well until 5 months and I found that particularly tough but it really does get better. Please don't feel like you're doing anything wrong, babies are HARD! Even the easy ones are hard, we all feel it as mums so it's completely understandable you are feeling stressed. I promise you that it is all temporary, they grow and change so quickly.

Also, I don't think babies laugh until around 4 months so I wouldn't worry about that at all. My LO didn't smile until 8 weeks. I really wouldn't worry about what other people are saying their babies are doing that your little one isn't, every child does things differently and they all have good days and bad days!

I really hope you are ok and things settle down for you. The pram and a car ride were my best friends during difficult days

I hope so! My wee one is 5 weeks and is the same. Lots of crying and grizzling. Are some babies just grumpier than others?? I swear all other newborns I have met have been content little things.

I have no advice other than to encourage as much sleep as possible, I'm now starting to get mine to sleep after 45 mins of being awake. Any longer than an hour awake and we're in for a world of pain!

Are some babies just grumpier than others?? I swear all other newborns I have met have been content little things.

@LikeTheOceansWeRise This! My friends have all been able to hand their newborns to me for long sleepy cuddles and they’ve just settled contentedly in my arms for ages. It would be impossible to do that with my baby, he’d start crying and screaming in seconds!

He’s either feeding, sleeping or crying

This is all sub 6 week newborn do.

Having said that, they shouldn't 're crying much at all. Because their only needs sleeping or feeding - so just ensure baby constantly feeds and sleeps

Basically life should be repeating cycles of:

• baby sleeps
• baby wakes and cries
• feed to stop crying
• check nappy
• wind cuddle until asleep...

And repeat.
sleep > wake > feed > wind > sleep > wake > feed > wind > sleep > wake > feed > wind > sleep....

Thete isn't a gap in between feeding and sleeping in which baby should be spending time awake and crying.

I suspect you are wildly over estimating how much your newborn needs to be awake. The only reason a newborn wakes is if hungry or uncomfortable (usually nappy, sometimes wind). At all times when not feeding, baby's either asleep or settlongto sleep

@FATEdestiny so if he’s crying after feeds (but refusing extra milk) then what is wrong? Is there any such thing as unexplained crying?

I think he could be constipated as he seems to strain a lot, had a tiny amount of poo in his nappy when I last changed him and doesn’t pass that much wind. But he is pooing every day or every other day and they’re large and normal consistency! It just seems like a real effort for him to get them out. I did think of trying Infacol to help the wind, but then I read it can cause constipation, so held off. I’m so confused

Is there any such thing as unexplained crying?

Seriously, look up purple crying

purplecrying.info/what-is-the-period-of-purple-crying.php

@Letsallscreamatthesistene thanks. What @FATEdestiny said makes sense but it does sound like unexplained crying is a thing?

I’m slightly worried though that the website says purple crying can last until 3-4 months...! I was hoping this week would be the worst of it - I don’t think I can take another 1.5-2.5 months of this.

It's normal and it's a phase. He is teeny teeny tiny with so much change happening in his body. Could be various things causing it but not grumpiness though I realise we use that term to describe a situation. Crying is how babies communicate until they learn differently. It can drag you down though. Is he happy in pram on walks?

Straining is likely trying to pass wind. Try a tummy massage to help it through.

You'd know if he was constipated as his stomach would be hard and his poo would be firm and pebble like.

If he struggles burping and passing wind there's no harm in trying infacol, I used this on both my babies and it didn't cause any constipation so it's worth a go if you think there is a wind problem.

Is he unsettled all the time between feeds or is it just certain parts of the day? For instance, my little one for the first two months used to scream from 4pm - 6pm every day for absolutely no reason and it was just something he grew out of. Some call it a witching hour, where it's a time of day your baby is more unsettled.

Is your baby feeding as normal? Are you BF or bottle feeding?

so if he’s crying after feeds (but refusing extra milk) then what is wrong?

It will probably be baby wanting to be asleep, or wind (most likely both). Since you say baby doesn't bring much wind up, that's an easy solve thing. There are lots of different winding techniques, find one that works.

There is absolutely no need to needlessly medicate baby for this - just try lots of different winding methods, for long enough. You should be expecting at least one big burp after every feed. Often there are two or three. Are you formula or breastfeeding?

After a feed and a burp (I normally offer a top up feed after the burp because baby often wants more when the gas us gone, so burp again after the top up)... work on getting baby to sleep.
● wrap in a swaddle (recreates womb like conditions)
● Give dummy (sucking stops crying and naturally soothes and calms)
● sway/rock gently if needed until calm then put down (or enjoy the cuddle)

Work on getting baby to sleep largely straight after the feed at this age. Wake > feed > wind > sleep > repeat... over and over all day, every day.

@Maxamill I can rule out constipation in that case, and he seems to bring up burps quite well. So perhaps the straining is because he’s struggling to pass wind? I will give Infacol a go and see if it makes any difference.

He’s unsettled after most feeds until I manage to get him to sleep, which can take up to an hour. It seems to be worse during the daytime - he’s generally more settled at night.

He’s feeding as normal and is bottle (formula) fed.

@FATEdestiny he does bring up one or two big burps after most feeds (though not every single one). But he doesn’t seem to pass a lot of gas.

I tried a swaddle on him once and he went ballistic, so I haven’t attempted it since.

I’m also trying desperately not to use a dummy as I worry that I won’t be able to get him out of the habit further down the line. No offence to anyone who does; it’s just my personal preference!

Sounds overtired.

I'd look at how you can get baby to sleep better. An hour is too long to be awake in one go at this age - if you add on how long baby will have been awake before you started trying to get to to sleep, it would explain the excessive crying.

If he's bringing up burps fine I wouldn't be too concerned about not passing wind as much, only if he does seem in a lot of pain and really straining but you could always mention it to your Health Visitor and see what they say.

For me personally, I would try to increase his feeds as if he's unsettled after feeding he could be not getting enough. The only other thing is possibly (and please don't take this as fact as I'm not a health professional and you've not described the full symptoms) he could be suffering with slight reflux, if that's the case try keep him upright after feeds for at least 20 minutes and I know you said you don't like them but dummy's really do help. There are lots of ways to wean a child off a dummy so I wouldn't worry about that too much right now!

It's really hard when your baby doesn't seem settled and I really do sympathise with you OP, I hope this phase passes fast. We're all here for you on Mumsnet so please keep reaching out if you're finding yourself getting stressed, it's completely normal and we all feel it at times. I would definitely ring your health visitor as well just to run it past them to see if they have any other advice but honestly sometimes they're just fussy!

I tried a swaddle on him once and he went ballistic, so I haven’t attempted it since.

I’m also trying desperately not to use a dummy as I worry that I won’t be able to get him out of the habit further down the line.

You're making it very difficult for him to go to sleep - you have to realise the compromise you make in doing that.

OK - he needs to go to sleep more quickly. So you need to help him do that. You could:

• go for a drive (car seat movement helps)
• pushchair walk
• rock in your arms and leave baby there to sleep
• cosleep and cuddle to sleep

All of these will probably also involve crying as baby goes to sleep. Because sucking is how you stop the crying. So if you don't like the crying - you need to time your feed so that baby is exhausted and feeds to sleep - creates it's own problems long term, but maybe you think them more preferable to a dummy?

Dummies are ace. They are the simplest and easiest no-cry sleep aid. But if you choose not to, pick your alternate method from above. They're all rods for your back in one way or another.

The ballistic at the swaddle - that'll be overtired. Not the swaddle. How to tell if a newborn doesn't need a swaddle - they sleep easily without one. If a newborn doesn't sleep well, a swaddle will help. You just have to preserve

Also OP, I don't know if you have Instagram but I follow a nanny on there called NannyLouenna and she posts really helpful advice and different routines you can try with your baby. She also does Q&A sessions which I've found really helpful.

There's a post she has which explains the different reasons for babies crying and some of the practical measures she always takes to try solve them, worth a little look through if you have it x

I get that you dont want to use a dummy, but its really soothing for babies. Id really urge you to try one. I do agree with PP about comprimises.

I was like you, but the crying was tough to deal with. Im also really strict with it, my son gets it as a sleep aid and thats it.

It's very rare to find any first time mum who goes into parenthood expecting to use a dummy. Like loads of aspects of going on that very steep learning curve of your first child, you so on realise all the things you expected before you have children are very naive.

Dummy will not be the first time you have to challenge your pre-baby expectations - I can promise you.

Work on getting baby to sleep largely straight after the feed at this age. Wake > feed > wind > sleep > repeat... over and over all day, every day.

@FATEdestiny how long does this phase last for out of interest?

For many months, until around 6-9 months old or so.

What happens is you gradually extend the awake time in the feed/wind section.

Up to 6 weeks it's reasonable to assume baby only wakes to feed, and goes straight back to sleep.

All approximate and with the caveat that baby sleep develops differently for individuals. I'm also conscious that as a FTM you will have no point of reference to understand what the realities of life will be like with an older baby. But as an estimate:

6-12 weeks (which you're coming to) might mean a little bit of floor time between feeding and sleeping. So it might mean baby wakes, is fed. Then baby is put on floor to have a nappy change and has 10 minutes or so stretching around with a nappy off. As soon as grumbling starts, top up feed and back to sleep. It might be reasonable to get up to 20 minutes or so awake "play" time after a feed before going to sleep.

3-4 months awake time increases further. It might be that after waking baby is fed and manages 30 or 40 minutes awake time after a feed. Bear in mind the time to feed is also awake time - so total time between waking from one nap to going back to sleep might be up to an hour.

4+ months. The cycle continues in the form of:
Sleep > Wake > Feed > Awake time > (top up feed) > sleep... repeat.

With increasing awake time. When you get to around 2h awake time, you possibly start finding a "by the clock" routine naturally form - usually as baby settles into 3-nap days. So, for example, you might find naps happen at 9am, 12pm, 4pm (for example) - that marks a change in the type of routine.