Toddler jealous of new baby

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I have a 2.5 year old DC1 and 4 week old DC2.
Tried my hardest to prepare DC 1 for arrival of baby - books explaining, buying DC1 books for reading during baby feeding times, lots of cuddles, reassurance etc. DC1 was also at nursery 3 days pre covid so not as though they had my undivided attention 24/7.
Baby has arrived and DC1 seems to be quite jealous. Behaviour previously was pretty good.
Toddler is now hanging off me whenever I breastfeed DC 2. Despite trying to engage them in games, stories etc at the same time, they just hang on me, or try to 'cuddle' DC2 by lying on the feeding pillow etc.
Bedtime was previously uneventful and would happily lie down and have cuddles and fall asleep generally pretty quickly.
Now that I am trying to put DC1 to bed with a cluster feeding baby, he is being very attention seeking, getting out of bed and messing about, running around and hitting (then laughing at my telling him off).
I've been getting very frustrated by it, as of DH is here to put him to bed, he reverts to previous behaviour and just goes to sleep.
He's clearly seeking my attention despite me still paying as much attention, cuddles, kisses etc as beforehand, but with the addition of a breastfeeding baby.
Ignoring it makes him mess around more. Responding to it makes him laugh in my face at the telling off.
I'm at a loss what to do. Please provide suggestions.

What do you do or say when toddler is looking for attention when you are focused on the baby? We can help with suggestions if you give us a picture of what is happening now.

For example, when you are bfing and toddler is hanging off you, do you say "not now" and ignore or "not now" and distraction technique?

So if I'm needing to feed baby, toddler will spot me getting a muslin, the pillow etc, leave what he's doing (e.g playing with the toy kitchen or the trains) and come and hang on me or put his face right up to the baby's face. So I will ask him to get x book or x game to sit with me to read/play. Which he doesn't particularly as he would rather hang on me while I feed.

Could you give him a job to do to make him feel useful while you feed? It sounds like he wants to be part of it. This probably wouldn't work for you, but when my DD was first born she'd only feed if someone would stroke her feet at the same time (little weirdo ) so would enlist my DH to do that.

Is there anything non annoying or obstructive that could be their job? Could they fetch the Muslin or gently help you pat the baby's back after? Or sing the baby a song?

My DD 2.5 is an only child but when her and her little friend at childcare got jealous of a new baby there they were asked to do dances for the baby to make it happy 😆

Does he have a doll? If not I would definitely get one, ideally realistic. Keep it put away to be got out only when you need him occupied and not scrambling on you, like when you know baby's due a long feed. I would get a bunch of accessories for it too. All the toddler boys I've ever met (I've work with them) love dolls buggies especially.

He can use the doll to to mimic how you care for your baby, or as an outlet for his emotions. As painful as it is to watch if he chooses to beat merry hell out of it that's ok - if he has those feelings he needs to get them out somehow, and far better on the doll than on his new sibling! I would just ignore any rough behaviour but praise him being kind and gentle with it.

I feel your pain.My child is 3 and his brother is 7 weeks.With lockdown and everything he has been very difficult.I love him so much but I am officially drained.I think I may have PND.I am going to speak to my health visitor about this.I may try getting a doll and pram for him as the other poster said.I am willing to try anything at the moment.With lockdown it’s very difficult as I haven’t any support.I feel like a bad mum.I don’t know how you are coping with BF and a toddler as I am barely coping with formula feeds.