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Parenting

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Original poster

Really daft question for all Mums who have school age children and who work full time.

45 replies

MrsTittleMouse · 23/09/2007 09:46

DD is only 11 months and we're thinking about another, and we were chatting last night about buying a house and when I would go back to work and how much child care would cost.
I know that DC go into nursery full time when both parents work full time, but what happens when they go to school? School finishes too early for FT working parents to pick them up, right? Do they go to after school clubs? Do they go to a child minder? Is it really expensive?
Sorry to be so clueless, it's a bit , but I just hadn't thought about it before.

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Original poster

MrsTittleMouse · 23/09/2007 15:07

Just spoken to DH about this and he is very keen on the idea of an au pair, especially if she is Swedish.
Another daft question: if you work part time, how to you prevent ending up with the worst of both worlds i.e. not as much money and still difficult to get flexible time off for illness, holidays etc.?

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Acinonyx · 23/09/2007 16:01

That's my feeling FeelingOld - I think I'd prefer a childminder for early primary school years.

Just been talking to dh about this again wrt moving house. We'd love to move out to a village but we'd probably be crazy to introduce a double commute to work while dd is at primary school (if we stay in town, we can both cycle to work).

NKF · 23/09/2007 16:03

In my experience, people often go for au pairs. If they don't have the room, they use breakfast and after school clubs.

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slalomsuki · 23/09/2007 16:11

Mine do after school clubs until I can collect them. We are lucky that it is £1 from 4pm until 5.15 and then some more until 6pm but I don't often do a 6pm collection.

In reality one parent has to make a sacrifice in terms of working hours or flexibility, most cases its the mother but I would say at our school about 30% of the dropping off and collection is done by a father.

A freind of mine with 4 has gone down the au pair route but hates having someone else living in her house

BellaLasagne · 23/09/2007 16:12

You really need to think very carefully about the logistics involved as well as the quality of childcare, plus the possibility that working locations can change.

It's a nightmare TBH working part-time as well, the very worst of both worlds. I often feel as I'm failing at everything because I'm not there for the children, you end up frazzled and worn out, and you have to duck out of importnant things at work because they don't fit your hours.

Sorry, caught me at a bad time, I'm meant to be more encouraging aren't I??!

Original poster

MrsTittleMouse · 23/09/2007 16:15

Don't worry Bella, realistic is good.

Better to think about it now than panic when I've accepted a job.

OP posts:

tigermoth · 23/09/2007 16:20

Also consider out how long your children will need to spend at afterschool club - will it be half an our or two hours each day? If you are worried about it being a long day for younger children, remember that you may not need after school care for the maximum time per day. Tbh, both my sons as soon as they were five years old, went to after school clubs for an hour or two and them being tired was never a huge problem. In the winter especially, when playground trips were not so easy, it was a great way of them letting off steam after being in the classroom.

But whatever you do, IMO it is so important to think hard about reducing your travelling time to and from work/school playclub etc if you can.

I went from a 40 hour week and 1 hour 30 min drive each way to and from from work/school/playclub to a flexible 35 hour week and a 15 minute drive each way. Even though I am full time, I feel I am working part time hours compared to my last job.

nooka · 23/09/2007 16:34

Costs do go down fairly dramatically when children start school, but life becomes much more complicated! One trick is to make the rest of your life as uncomplicated as possible - short commutes, flexible employers etc. We use a childminder, breakfast club twice a week, and I work from home one day. It's not ideal - sometimes I remember with regret the days when we had a nanny (and no money!). It costs us £136 a week. I'm vaguely thinking about an au pair, but with some trepidation.

pointydog · 23/09/2007 16:42

after school clubs can be inflexible in that they charge a flat rate for a 3.30-6pm slot.

Childminders are, on teh whole, more flexible and will charge for when your child is with them or in their charge.

slalomsuki · 23/09/2007 16:43

I agree with Nooka.

My whole life is one big juggling act and I can feel the stress start at 3pm in the afternoon if something comes up at work. Dh cannot help since he works too far away and has a long commute so it is down to me.

I find holidays a problem too but we won't even start that discussion.

granarybeck · 23/09/2007 16:50

We are currently thinking of an au pair to give us more flexibility than using the after school club, also the children are keen on the idea as they get to come home after school everyday.

Blackduck · 23/09/2007 16:51

This is just a total 'mare in my view. Dp and I have just sat down with ds's diary and our commitiments to work out who will cover harvest assembly, 'reception conference' (another word for parents evening), what the hell we are going to do at half term and the week dp is away in NY and we are relatively lucky as dp is a uni prof and so has long holidays so the main breaks (but not half terms) are easier for us! God help those with a less flexible regime! Basically we have found a childminder who takes ds in the morning and picks him up. She'll also do holidays if required, but it just isn't easy......

Gameboy · 23/09/2007 16:54

BBBee - can you link to the thread with MD's advice - it sounds like just the sort of stuff I need right now!

Millarkie · 23/09/2007 16:57

We found the hardest time was having one child at school and a toddler - ideally we wanted a childminder who would take eldest to school and after school and look after younger one during the day but we couldn't find any with vacancies in both age groups. We ended up with toddler in day nursery, and a part-time nanny to do school run, with me rearranging my working hours so I could do the school pick up...then we went for a full-time nanny..then we moved to a nanny-share..and now, finally, we have both children in the same school, with after-school club, dh working a late shift so he can drop them off and my hours adjusted so I can pick them up either at 3.30 or from after-school club. During school holidays we take turns to take time off to look after kids, or send them to granny's for a week(!), and during the summer hols we hire a nanny.
It's all a lot of hassle and expense whichever solution you try!

pointydog · 23/09/2007 17:03

It doesn't have to be a nightmare. I have had lovely flexible childminders.

It's true that you rememvber the difficult times, though, and all the stress that goes with it.

morningpaper · 23/09/2007 17:13

Full time nursery is incredibly expensive - Mine would be £1,700 per month for two children under 3.

I work part-time and LOVE IT. I think the balance is great. DD has started school this month and I am SO glad that I have been able to be there for her - it is such a hugely stressful time for her and feeling that her home life is predictable (and dull!) helps her a great deal.

morningpaper · 23/09/2007 17:14

Most of my friends who work full-time seem to both take 1-2 weeks off in the summer to look after their kids (a DIFFERENT two weeks to each other) - have a week together and persuade grandparents to take them for the rest of the time. It seems pretty horrific to me!

pointydog · 23/09/2007 17:36

Most people I know have their kids in the local Holiday Clubs, run by the After school Clubs. They can choose how many weeks care is needed.

themoon66 · 23/09/2007 17:39

I tried to work full time. But after five different childminders in one year, I had to give in and drop my hours to fit around school. Ended up doing 9.15 to 3pm. In the summer holidays DH used to take two weeks leave, then I would take two weeks leave, then grandparents would have them for a bit in the middle.

Nightmare.

Blu · 23/09/2007 17:46

We do it by living very very close to the school (5 min wak), and working flexi-yime - so DP and i sare the collection and do early and late start days to share ut the drop-offs.

DP has dropped his hours by 20% - works a 4 day week over 4 days to accommodate leaving early 3 days a week to collect DS - but he could d it f/t if he did more flexi and TOIL. We cover the school hols in relays, and do lots of swap days with friends and relatives for having all the kids ofr a day. Also, my Mum comes down and covers some hol days, and having picked DS's non-godmother really well (my single, child-free freelance self-employed bf) she does quite a few days as well. But there is quite a range of hol projects, too.

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