Transitioning from 2 to 3 kids well under 5

[Lotus8]

Hi All,

We have 2 girls who will be 4 years 4 months old and 2 years 3 months old by the time baby number 3 arrives. So we will have 3 under 5! Can anyone provide any insights on life with 3 under 5 and the pro's and con's of transitioning from 2 to 3 kids?

Thank you

I have four children. I found the transition from 2 to 3 hardest I'm afraid. Going from 3 to 4 and from 1 to 2 was easier.

Are you a SAHM? I was, so my experience will be different to that of a working mum.

The saving grace, the best thing about younger children when you have older ones, is that you (hopefully) already have a very routined and structured day.

That will be further improved when your eldest starts school and second starts their 3h free nursery place. At that point (If I assume you do nursery mornings like I did), our day was split into very ridged periods of time:

< 8.30 am - getting everyone ready and fed
8.30-9am - school/nursery run. Always has to happen, gets you out the house.
9am - 11am - "morning activities"
11.30-12pm - nursery run. Always has to happen, gets you out the house (again)
12-1pm - lunch for everyone. Always the same time
1pm-3pm - afternoon naps/activities
3.30-4pm - school run. Always has to happen, gets you out the house again.
4pm-6pm - dinner time
6pm> evening wind down activities.

The big benefit of having older kids is that baby slots immediately into a household which already has child-friendly routines.

I have a five year old, 3 year old and baby at 4 and a half months. Baby number three is definitely the most unsettled out the three and doesn’t take a dummy but I feel I am more experienced and confident in being a mum. So going from 2 to 3 has been fine. My other two feel it at times as some days I do feel the baby wants bf all day and sometimes she doesn’t nap. But when she does nap and goes to sleep at night I am able to spend quality time with the older ones.

I have kept my double buggy too. So if I go a walk and my three year old gets tired I can put him in the pram. So still have some independence taking them out all by myself xx

Thank you both for taking the time to share. I am a stay at home Mum at the moment and my eldest will have started school this Sept (Covid19 deowndant) and the little one is due to start nursery around same time or latest Jan 2021, by which time the newborn will be 2.5 months old, so expecting that time to be challenging. The routine is so spot on!

If we can afford it. I may hire help for a few months....as I suffer from anxiety and get easily depressed easily if things are not in order.

I do have a double buggy so this will be useful. The school is walking distance so that will be easy, but I will have to drive for the nursery run. That's when things get challenging for me as it means taking a small baby in and out of the car seat 4 times each way! Messes up nap times etc

I am actually enjoying no school and nursery right now. We are able to have lots of relaxing mornings. Before lockdown my routine was drop daughter at school for 9am, drop son at nursery at 1, back down at school car park for 2.30, collect daughter at 3, collect son at 3.50. The baby had to come in all these school runs. I ended up buying a car seat adapter for my double buggy and rain cover for car seat. This was fab for not disturbing the baby. So when the weather was miserable the baby and my three year old were nice and warm in those winter mornings and afternoons.

In terms of keeping things in order I follow the organised mum method. I also have a toy box/ ottoman in literally every room in my house. So sometimes it’s a case of clearing the floor area of toys. I find this helps as I get really agitated with mess!

My #1 was 3y 7m , and #2 was 1y 9m when #3 was born (now aged 5, 3 and 19m).

Personally I found going from 1 to 2 harder than going 2 to 3 as luckily #3 slotted in fairly well.

Double pram very useful (I have a city mini double and also a city select with two seats and buggy board, prefer the city mini though), as is a baby carrier (I like a sling for the newborn stage and now use a Connecta).

It's a challenge but especially when #3 is a newborn and you can put them in the pram or capsule and leave them a couple of minutes while getting the bigger two sorted it's not really any harder.

Having a routine for the week I.e. playgroup/ activities/ shopping centre with a play area etc is good as otherwise you'll feel like you never get out of the house, and having a fixed time to aim for helps (I always like to do a T- countdown so I know when I need to start getting ready, and then if we're ready early it's a bonus).

In saying that #3 still has their one day nap manipulated around school pick up time but I think as I was more confident as a mother I felt happier making little changes to routines to make my life easier I.e. all the children bathe together, then #3 goes to bed and the bigger too hang out in their pjs for a bit rather than running two bath times

Thank you for the replies!

I'm defo keeping the double buggy and this time going for a super lightweight carseat. The last one was a cybex and over 5kg. It was ridiculous and really held me back! I'm also thinking that the baby will have to nap around school/nursery runs. With baby number 2 I would just sit in the car for her nap duration if I came home and she was already asleep. I'd just take a flask of tea with me and use the time to reply to emails etc. Will just have to go with the flow and as long as baby us happy etc then not get too caught up. As I cannot control nap times when I have a 8.45am school run by walk, a 9am nursery run by car, 12.45pm nursery lick up by car and finally a 3.30pm achool pick up by walk!

I've found a sling so helpful for school runs! My 3rd is very unsettled in her pram or car seat and mainly screams but she loves her sling and its means I have my hands free for my other 2.

I also found going 2 to 3 the hardest I'm afraid its mainly splitting my time and the need to be even more organised. I think if you are struggling trying to prepare everything the day before with help of your partner is a good option. I use to get lunches made up etc so I didnt have to panic on the day. My 3rd is 4 months now and it's gotten much easier than the newborn weeks. She has reflux and can be quite fussy at times. Hope this helps.

Mine were 4 years 2 months, and 2 years 4 months when baby arrived. It was awesome because they played together, and I got to spend my mat leave with all 3 until.the biggest started school. Then I was there for the first part of his reception year.

Thanks for the Sling tip. I had a carrier with my second so totally appreciate how handy it can be and safe!

Poetry in action, we pretty much have the same age gaps! My eldest will have just started reception a few weeks before this baby arrives. Thinking I might wait until Jan 2020 to start the second at nursery as will struggle to manage 2 kids settling in periods. I'm starting to organise my house in a way I never have before....very daunting at the mo...