New found respect for single mothers

[milcmxxx]

Not that I didn’t have respect for single mums before!! But I feel like I couldn’t do this without my partner!! Easily the hardest (yet most rewarding) job in the world, I love love love my baby but some days I can’t wait for 5pm so I can hand her to my partner so I can have an hours peace - but then take her back because I miss her about 30 mins later 😂 single mothers you are amazing !!!!!

Thank you?
Anything in particular prompted this?

I have a friend who is a single mother and was just chatting to her about being in lockdown etc. X

Sorry I may bring this post down, you still have a partner to give you a break.

Enjoy your baby btw.

I never said I was a single mother, I’m not a single mother at all I’m with my babies dad! Who is very very hands on, I just meant I’m glad he is there to actually give me a break, whereas some single mothers don’t get that!

OP I get where you're coming from but I think people are going to take offence at this where none was intended.

Oh okay I’ve hidden the thread, definitely never meant to offend anyone! Sorry if it’s came across this way x

I couldnt agree more..they are supermums!!!!

You could do if if you have to and you would.

Bit of a silly statement isnt it? Comes across a little look at how clever am I?

Respect for people who are not like me because they are single/ill/poorer/hungrier/refugees/ etc etc

Honestly if I'd done this lockdown as a single mother I worried I'd end up being sectioned. I've found being a mum really hard without my usual coping strategies being available.

Yep. We rock

I think OP was saying that its really hard work and she doesnt think she could do it by herself

Some people are such mood hoovers!

Thanks OP. It’s hard work.

OMG people are being so touchy and missing the point.
Yes was a single parent for 7 years (although mine weren't babies at the time) it is pretty relentless.

@chiyo666 'mood hoovers' 😂😂

It is hard work.
But it s not usually a lifestyle choice you just get on with it
If you have to you will.
You are stronger than you think

Thank you, when my lo was at nursery, one of the teachers asked if anything was going on at home, after my son was naughty one afternoon, I politely replied he'd been there 2 years and 1 naughty afternoon is hardly a pattern, I'd requested he be kept away from a certain friendship circle which was refused. I thought she was being snotty as I was a single mum.

A few weeks later I see her in tesco flustered with her screaming toddler, I said hi & she said her husband had only been away a week & she didn't know how I did it, week in week out, I laughed and said I don't know myself, there were no more snotty looks or jumping to hasty conclusions, we got on very well after that.

God yes. I have no idea how I’d have managed as a single parent family with work and childcare during lockdown. I guess I would have managed it if I had to, but I’m glad I didn’t have to.

Having said that...I know a few single parents who seem to manage life much better than they did with a partner. I guess an unhelpful partner could be worse than no partner at all........

So maybe we’re just all doing great!!! Doing our best in our own situations?!

When we had DS1 I pondered that it's a good thing it takes two to make a baby because it certainly needs two to raise one (and we still felt run off our feet).

Managing it single handed is a definite triumph of determination.

I must say by the time we were on to later babies (foster carer), I couldn't work out what had seemed so hard. Could tuck one under each arm and do a full shop, no problem, by then.

I'm a single parent and not offended FFS! I have the utmost respect for lone parents who have really small children and how they have coped in lockdown. I remember how hard it was in normal times. I hope that doesn't offend anyone.

Yes, it is unbelievably tough. I was widowed with two babies still in nappies, and brought them up alone for their entire childhood while working as a hospital doctor (initially part time).
Nearest relatives 250 miles away. No internet/Mumsnet etc. It was very lonely, isolating and exhausting. I had a night out at a book circle once every six weeks, when I could find a babysitter. I had one weekend away from the kids in 18 years. It was particularly difficult when I was ill with flu and trying to care for toddlers alone. I think mums with helpful husbands have no idea what single mums go through - and we usually get vilified in the media as scroungers raising delinquents!

Thankfully I’m now retired and my two lovely graduate DDs are in well paid careers with homes of their own. I love them both to bits and I’m sure my wonderful late DH would have been proud of them.

I really never meant to offend anyone @Embracelife - I certainly don’t think I’m better/cleverer than anyone else, I’m definitely not rich and I wonder if I’m doing a good enough job daily and cry about 100 times a week 🤷🏼‍♀️. I respect all mothers, single or not. My mum was a single mum and I had the best upbringing. Just saying I can imagine it’s hard and I have the upmost respect. I didn’t expect to offend anyone, Sorry!! Xxx

@Chiyo666 100% gonna start to use that phrase 😂

OP, you didn't offend me. I appreciate your words actually and didn't see any offence. Some people will find offence in everything unfortunately. I have to say, it's the toughest thing I've ever done. Lockdown has been difficult beyond description. My son has ASD. I don't blame you in the slightest for wanting to hand your little one over at the end of the day! It's exhausting. I hope you never find yourself a lone parent, but you know what? If you did, you'd do just fine

I know a few single parents who seem to manage life much better than they did with a partner. I guess an unhelpful partner could be worse than no partner at all

Yes that's me...much much better without him.

Fgs when I see these threads I always know there are going to be people who take offence.
People turn a nice comment round to make out the person who said it is being patronising and rude bit weird tbh.