11 week old - I'm miserable

[HighOnStilts]

My 11 week old cries or is agitated most of the day, she hasn't got reflux (not that I know of anyway as she always keeps her milk down) I have a jumperoo, playgym and standard bouncer chair - she wont tolerate any of them for longer than maybe 10 minutes at a time. My worry is that as I'm not being able to interact with her or have sensory time with her without her bawling she is going to develop a lot later than most children. She is usually content with my partner - or asleep (typical) I'm so frustrated, especially when I see other mums babies who will happily play away. I've spoken to the HV on numerous occassions - cried down the phone to her at times, but she usually just winds up telling me to 'check out the NHS website, it's fab' - not really what I want to hear.

I'm exhausted 😔

Didn’t want to read and run. It is exhausting at the moment because of the lockdown situation meaning you spend all your time with your little one. I promise you it does get better.

Might she have silent reflux? Worth checking out. How does she cope in a sling or pram? If she’s quite happy in a sling you could combine that with sensory- a walk around the garden or park, show her the trees and different plants. If you grow herbs, let her sniff them and hold them.

It’s taken weeks for my little boy to enjoy playing - he’s 20 weeks now and we’ve only just gotten the hang of it. Sometimes he is just not in the mood though which can be a bit frustrating. When we were able to do classes when he was younger he couldn’t have cared less. He was more interested in the babies next to him than anything I was dangling above him.

Don’t be too hard on yourself x

I don't think mine actually liked a toy until he was about 1. However he loved getting out and about for walks, he also loved anything "real" so some spoons from the kitchen or some pasta in a plastic bottle was great. Sensory scarves were another big hit. Everything is sensory play at this stage - splashing in the bath, looking at trees, listening to you singing, watching the washing machine go round. I think some times we think we have to be providing enrichment more than baby actually needs it.

DS was 4 months until he would do anything I would call play. He's 6 months and developing fine so don't worry.

When you say she cries all day does she just cry? Are their any other behaviours e.g. back arching or coughing that might make you think she's uncomfortable? Does she draw her knees up to her tummy?

Just by talking to her when you can you're enriching her day. They learn from every little thing. DS for example is currently obsessed with watching the cat walk around?

My 10 week old likes nothing more at the moment than being sat up, specifically NOT in his bouncy chain though. Preferably surrounded by pillows on the floor, or on someones lap. Maybe worth trying?

It's ok to feel like this everyone does at some point. Don't compare your self to other mums (I know it's easier said then done) but trust me there thinking the same thing everyones life looks better from the outside looking in.

Doesn't matter if she's slow to pick things up that other babies are doing she could be quicker to pick up something else than other babies can.

Try and relax

Best of luck

Please don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re doing a fab job! My DS is 10 weeks and only just started being left for a max of 20 mins in the baby gym before crying starts (last week he couldn’t be left in there at all). It’s just a cycle of feeding, change, short play time, cuddles and then sleep (with crying between each phase!). But I know he is being stimulated as he looks around at everything when awake and I’ve just put him in the sling while I did some housework and he loved it! I think that’s more than enough for them at this age, it’s us that put pressure on ourselves to stimulate them. Your DD will develop in her own time, and what does it matter if she is a few weeks behind another baby? And next week will probably be completely different with her any way.

Definitely get her checked for silent reflux though. Keep your chin up

Had a friend with a little girl exactly the same, but firstly, relax on the whole development front, please. You're worrying over nothing.

Friend saw a cranial person(the name has totally left me?) and had a different baby after 1 appointment.

Oh wow thank you everyone for your kind words. She's currently sleeping so I've been able to get some stuff done around the house and have a bit of time to myself on the sofa which is bliss. I'm just preparing myself for her waking up and dealing with another round of crying again - lol.

I do have a wrap which we use occasionally but she has to be in the mood to settle in it, she's very wriggly and has be known to get a leg or her head totally free from it before today.

She's due her next lot of jabs soon so if things dont change soon I'll bring up the topic of silent reflux with the nurse.

Thanks again everyone, in the nicest way possible it's nice to know that I'm not alone in this.

11 weeks is way too young for a jumperoo they recommend from 9 months!!

@Lsquiggles our Jumperoo is the Fisher Price Animal Kingdoms one, recommended 3 months and over

Oh sorry

@Lsquiggles
You did panic me for a moment there lol I had to check the box 😆
She doesn't last long in it anyway even though she can support her own weight sat up now, it'll probably go in a corner gathering dust until she will happily sit in it lol

@highonstilts sorry to have panicked you i was just shocked I didn't know they did one for younger children!

Does she struggle with burping after milk? My DD would be very uncomfortable and agitated, I started giving her infacol before her milk and she was fine after that

Honestly don’t worry about development right now she’s still tiny, what is she like in the pram? Does she enjoy that? Another vote for a sling to help free your hands for a bit

@Lsquiggles Oh don't worry, I just had to double check to make sure ha!

Honestly, she's the best burper! I can feed her, and as soon as I tilt her upright on my knee 9 times of out of 10 she'll immediately burp. I guess I'm just thankful that she's not a sicky baby, she has the apetite of a giant though and will easily do 7-8 ounces in one go now.

@emmaluggs
We take her out in the pram and she'll sleep, we have the Stokke Xplory and I'm debating whether to put her in the upright seat with the baby wedge insert when in the house as I've a feeling she just doesn't like being on her back when she is awake.