Am I a bad mum?

[p3achnation]

Hi,

I have a DD who is nearly 3, I adore her and would do anything for her but I constantly find myself needing/ wanting a break despite me working part time so I do kind of get a break. She has also started to go back to nursery for one day per week.

I'm always questioning myself thinking I'm a bad mum. Well not necessarily a bad mum but just not a good enough mum. I suffer with depression and feel like looking after her/ playing with her is a chore.

Are these feelings normal?

Yeah the constant attention a child that age demands is draining and an effort. I've come to accept that I need a break so that I have the energy to enjoy the kids and that's ok.
I've said this to DP so he takes the kids for a bit to give me a break and I'll do the same in reverse.
At 2 is she still napping? Take that time to have a rest with a cup of tea and a book or Netflix.
Needing you time does not make you a bad mum it makes you human.

When I have days like this, I do a checklist.
Is my child....
Clean (ish)
Dressed appropriately
Fed including some veg, fruit, dairy, carbs and protein and not too much sugar
Had a drink of water
Entertained with something other than screens for a bit.
Had some fresh air.
Loved, cuddled and talked to a few times a day.
Laughed with, tickled or had a silly moment with.
Put to bed in a warm, safe, clean cosy bed with a big kiss goodnight.
Read a bedtime story.
Not subjected to shouting/swearing/smacking or arguments between parents.
Given appropriate boundaries and told off appropriately.

If I can say yes to all these things then even on the days I struggle and they have too much tv, then I feel like I am meeting their needs. It helps, especially when suffering with depression.
Nursery is great for little ones, they will really benefit.
I bet you are a fab mum.

Oh and playing with kids can be so dull!! Pretend it is your job, and you are a nanny ha ha. Or I pretend I am an insta mum doing some filming. Fake it til you make it! Sometimes they just need you to start them off then they can play alone while you mumsnet

Bad parents don't question if they are good parents. The fact that you care shows you are a good parent. We can always be better. Don't be hard on yourself.

I'm not sure by but this message made me feel really emotional. I feel like a really bad mum most of the time but realising I do pretty much all the things on that list made me feel better so thank you x

Thanks for the replies.
I can say I do those things on the list and that has made me feel slightly better.

I just can't help but question myself constantly, I feel like she deserves better than me x

It's such a hard age. Playing is really draining. I feel the same

Don't be daft!🌷

3 year olds are draining - you'd be mad if you didn't want a break! Perfectly normal!!

Oh god I’m a bad mum too then. Nearly 3, back to nursery tomorrow for a couple of days a wk, thank god. I actually enjoying being out and about with her but on lockdown at home it’s draining, it’s dragging, it’s endless mess, mindless play and too much cbeebies. Thankfully I’ve managed to get mine into watching Friends- that helps!

Every mum I know (this includes me!!) feels like this.
My 2year old is constantly on the go.... and I have days when I feel "I can't be bothered to parent"
Picking up toys, cleaning, doing the same thing day in and day out!!
It's hard work looking after small people with loads of energy!
Be kind to yourself. Your a great mum! Now have a glass of something cold and put your feet up 😊 xx