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Parenting

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Original poster

having a 3rd child when things are just starting to get easier...

39 replies

noonar · 22/09/2007 20:38

i have 2 dds, aged 3 and 5.

against my better judgement, i'm now feeling broody.

trouble is, all my friends with 3 are struggling with 2 preschoolers plus one at school.

now, if we had a 3rd, they'd be aged 6 and 4 and new born- assuming we conceive quickly (as before). would this be any less stressful than my friends' exp, dyou think?

i have great respect for them, but they often look like they are tearing their hair out with trying to meet the needs of all 3. not sure that i could cope with this.

would it be easier with a bigger gap, or am i just kidding myself?

dh thinks the dds would suffer, as they'd get less attention. (i actually think they'd benefit hugely from having a baby bro/ sis.)

in some ways, i'm just starting to get my life back after the dds, so finding myself feeling broody is not exactly part of the master plan!

not sure what i'm asking really, but just wanted to chat about the impact of having a 3rd, at a time when things are just staring to get a bit easier.

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paolosgirl · 22/09/2007 21:54

We've just had a third after an 7 year break, and it was a bit of a surprise, just when life was getting a bit easier in all respects. Now he's here though, I'm SO glad we've got him. He's fitted in just perfectly, the other 2 adore him and help out, and I'm much calmer as I know what I'm doing.

It can be manic, and it can hard work, but it's all so, so worth it.

jenjins · 22/09/2007 21:54

No ds is 4 years old!!!

scienceteacher · 22/09/2007 21:55

With kids aged 6 and 4, it should be a doddle. You'd have one in full-time school and the other part-time, so plenty of time on your own with the new baby.

The children will also be phenominally helpful - playing with the baby, fetching nappies etc.

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LyraBelacqua · 22/09/2007 21:56

Just refer to him as DS then. DS4 means 'son number 4' on here.

LyraBelacqua · 22/09/2007 21:57

My earlier post should have read 'four sons' not 'four somes'.

Wallace · 22/09/2007 21:57

cadelaide - are you me? I could have written your post, sums us up perfectly too

"Big ones were 5 and 7 when ds2 came along.
Easy peasy.
Big ones help a lot (they want to, they love him)and ds2, 14m, just tags along whatever we do. He's walking and starting to get into their stuff but it's working out just fine."

Tommy · 22/09/2007 22:00

I have 3 DSs - 5, 4 and 7months. I was due to have a 2.6 year gap between number 2 and 3 but I had a miscarriage and then took a year to conceive DS3.

DS3 is gorgeous and adorable but we have noticed that we have ahad to take a step back with some things - going to theme parks, swimming etc - all more difficult with a baby plus older ones - but hardly terribly important in the great scheme of things. The older boys adore him and are very helpful with him. I really didn't want to only have 2 children

bosch · 22/09/2007 22:02

Hi - not read the other messages so may be repeating, but I persuaded dh that we should go for no 3 and he's now 11 months old. He just fits right in really, I find that each baby is easier than the last! His big brothers are 6 and 4 and they play together really nicely (plus fair share of arguements of course) but also love playing with ds3 now.

I worry that ds3 won't have the special bond that ds1 and 2 have because of bigger age difference, but we've got to have something to worry about right?! As ds1 and 2 are now at school (reception and yr1) I am going to have some quality time with my baby, which I'll enjoy as it feels like I've had more than one baby/child for SUCH a long time.

I also feel that I could make having any number of children look like hard work - but I wouldn't change my situation for the world, of course. In truth, persuading dh to go for no 3 took a heck of a lot of sulking, but I knew that having three children was just right for me and I promise I'm not getting broody now that ds3 is about to start being a toddler.....!

Good luck with your decision

fihi · 22/09/2007 22:07

big bro(6y) has read bedtime stories to DD tonight {choke back tears} Awww how sweet?? Having 2 of one sort, not minding a third but secretly hoping for a girl, read hazel chesterman philips book about choose the sex of ur baby the natural way - hehe the timing thing worked for us!!

Original poster

noonar · 22/09/2007 22:11

ah, thanks everyone. food for thought...

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cat64 · 22/09/2007 22:29

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cat64 · 22/09/2007 22:32

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Kaz33 · 23/09/2007 17:54

I have a 6 and 4 year old boys and I have spent the last year thinking about whether to have another. Had just decided to move on with my life and now I have seen this thread

Borrowed my cousin's eight month old baby last week for the day - it seemed relatively easy although she kept wanting to get the pieces in their junior monopoly game.

cadelaide · 25/09/2007 11:33

Hi thomcat, just come back to this thread and there you are. Hope you're well, nothing from you for a day or two I see, maybe things are happening?
Wallace - sounds like you're loving it as much as I am. Ds2 is a little star and can do no wrong in this house (I foresee trouble ahead!)

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