Lack of sleep getting me down

[Laylor]

My nearly 15 week old is a terrible sleeper. Always has been.

He feeds at around 10pm then again about 4ish and all the hours inbetween hes rarely still and spends most of his time thrashing about, rubbing his face and just looking really restless.

I'm so concerned hes not getting enough sleep.

He seems quite congested. Weve been using nasal drops but I dont think they are having an effect.

Any advise would be lovely

A swaddle might help calm all the thrashing around

Mine thrashes about too-I’ve found shite noise helps (nothing fancy? I play a you tube video on my phone), not for him, but makes sleep easier for me as it levels out some of his noises.

OMG, WHITE noise!! Interesting and concerning that my phone diverts to that 🤣

Thanks guys. We have static playing on the radio all night. I dont know about the baby but I struggle to sleep without it now. He was swaddled because he couldnt get used to sleeping with his arms loose but as I'm thinking of transitioning in to own room I'd rather he be in a sleeping bag with no blankets. Hes just done a big stretch of 4 hours and i didnt hear a peep. I got him some nasal drops so maybe that helped x

10pm-4am without a feed seems like a long time. If he's not sleeping, maybe he's hungry. My son didn't go 6 hours without eating until he was about 9 months.

Are you bottle feeding or breast? Either way seems a long time for one so little not to be fed.

I remember this age and mine used to thrash about too. I used to sleep in the spare room next door and leave her with her dad because it kept me awake. She was asleep, just kicking about and making noises. If you think congested though, I bought a humidifier for the room from argos for £20 and it kept the air moist and helped when she had a blocked nose etc. She grew out of the thrashing anyway and now sleeps quite peacefully x

My LO slept so much better after we moved him to his own room, I think we were disturbing each other and it is quite normal for babies to be noisy sleepers.

Having said that we moved him at 6 months rather than 4 due to the sids guidance. If you feel comfortable with this though and make sure his sleeping environment is safe you could try moving him now.

@OnSilverStars yes I can’t imagine a baby going that long either. Mine fed 2 hourly then!

Very normal sleeping pattern for a 15 week old. They still need feeding during the night. Also babies are generally noisy sleepers I used to think there was a hedgehog in the room.

Work on your coping mechanisms - nap when baby sleeps in day. Chores can wait. Get your partner to take baby down stairs in the morning so you can have a mini lie in, even if just on the weekends.

He is asleep inbetween these feeds. I dont starve my baby. He just thrashes about a lot. My husband studied him last night for a good hour and confirmed he IS asleep just moves around a lot.

@laylor nobody said you are starving your baby.

A 15 week old to sleep between 10pm-4am would have been the dream for me, I was awake every hour/2 hours until he was 1

Hes a right bruiser. Wouldnt hear the last of it if I starved him 😊 Oh that's good to know. My friends tell me their babies sleep 8pm till 6am with no feed and there is only a few weeks between them. Suppose I need to stop listening to them.

Really don't mean this comment to come across as one-uppy but my 11 week old is sleeping between 5-7 hours at night, so it is quite normal for them to go for longer stretches at night. She often still feeds hourly in the day though.

Not jealous in the slightest 🤣🤣 how much does baby eat throughout the day? I'd do anything for even a 5 hour none interrupted sleep.

Normal sleep at that age is a massive spectrum. A lot of newborns do sleep surprisingly well at first and then hit four months and it totally changes. Sometimes babies can be noisy sleepers too, which it sounds like yours is! DD was a bit noisy at first and although she slept well, the grunting did keep me awake. I used earplugs to dampen the grunting but meant I could still hear her when she properly woke.

But it's also entirely normal for a baby to wake frequently to fed. So basically your baby is normal, other people's babies are normal, and sleep is always changing in babies. DD was always a good sleeper but we have had various stages of all-night sleeping, multiple night feeds, blah blah. It's only been since a year that she's reliably sleeping through (and that could change again!).

Laylor

What's baby's daytime sleep like?

How often and how long does he sleep for, how do you get him to sleep, where does he sleep?

He normally has a nap every 1.5 to 2 hours. Depending on the time of the day he can go hours at a time or 30-45 mins here and there. We feed and nap on demand so no set times. We try to do bath time at 6pm but sometimes he can we really grumpy if hes been awake since 4pm. I was thinking of sticking to the routine of bath massage and bed but scraping the times. I think this is why hes struggling to stay asleep when I put him to bed.

He also sleeps on us or basket during the day and crib at night time. For nap time he is mostly rocked to sleep. Bed time the same unless hes zonked and we just put him down.

Why do you think he's not sleeping well?

Sounds like he's getting plenty of sleep during the day and a good, long chuck on sleep at night.

Also important to ask- why aren't you sleeping well? It's a sign of post natal depression if you are exhausted but unable to sleep even when given the opportunity. It does beg the question - if your baby doesn't need you after 10pm until early morning, why can't you sleep?

@Laylor she's mostly breastfed so don't know amounts, but she feeds anything from every 1-2.5 hours in the day and feeds last between 10-40 mins. I can't work out any rhyme or reason to why it varies so much. She can be very thrashy towards the end of her nighttime sleep too. We use the Ollie Owl heartbeat or white noise and it does seem to settle her for a bit longer. I think the thrashing around is normal and it doesn't mean they aren't getting enough sleep, my daughter was like that in her early weeks but has mostly grown out of it now. Hopefully your little one isn't far behind!

@FATEdestiny it's not post natal depression. Its because hes so noisy I cannot sleep through it.

Thanks derby girl I hope so too. We both go to sleep and then just as I'm about to drop off he starts and startles me. My husband didnt believe me at one point until we swapped sides for the night!! I'd imagine he would be absolutely exhausted during the day if he wasnt getting enough sleep

I'd recommend a nasal aspirator as well as the drops to really clear his little nose (boots)

Might be stupid question but is he too hot or cold? I have a 15 week old too and some nights I don't hear a peep out of him (except for waking to feed) and others he's thrashing around like mad. I find he usually needs an extra blanket or sometimes just wants a cuddle.

Hi @laylor. I do bath/bottle/bed routine with my 10 week old. VERY loose times though, anywhere between 1800-1900 depending on his daytime naps. I was being strict with the timings but it wasnt working. Its worked loads better since ive let go a bit, and quite often if I start the routine closer to 1900 he'll go down a bit easier.