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Not coping with son been so nasty.

10 replies

riolou · 03/06/2020 09:10

My nearly 2 year old sons habits as I call them of nipping ragging hair biting but he does it to everyone but even worse to his sister (3) I know people are going to say " that's what happens and it's a phase it's because there so close in age etc" I understand that but it's to the point where my children cannot be in the same room and I'm so serious! , my daughter woke up later than my son he woke up at 5 dd woke up at 7, she stepped one foot in the door asked him for a cuddle , he ran up to her and nipped her face ragged her got to the floor and nipped her again in her face, I love my children more than anything I spend 1 on 1 time together I give them a lot of attention play with toys etc , we bake , paint , all sorts there's nothing more I can do to spend time together I feel like I'm going to have a melt down he hurts her every second of the day no exaggeration ! , he rags my hair and his fathers , he pulls his eldest brother (8) all over the place by his clothes nipping aswell but he doesn't do it as bad or often as he does his sister , what am I supposed to do I don't no how to tell him? I remove him from what he's doing whilst not saying anything , I've tried no and show him it hurts by saying " hurts , ouch" I don't no what else to do at this age I've never felt so low in my life and I suffer from anxiety and depression this is my lowest I have felt I dread waking up and that's so awful to say! But I do , it's okay because 1 child at a time gets up but soon as the second gets up that's it I have crying , screaming , fighting every minute of the day. I can't do with this what do I do?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
riolou · 03/06/2020 09:11

Sorry for long paragraphs , I also forgot to mention sometimes you can tell before he will hurt someone he grinds his teeth and clenches his fist it's like he has a urge and really needs to do it.

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 03/06/2020 09:20

That's really hard work for you. Sounds like he is jealous? I would praise good behaviour at every opportunity and try to ignore the bad (just taking your daughter out the firing line). Two is a difficult age and it's easy to get into a mindset where you 'blame' them for spoiling things (and to be fair they are!) But then that can make the behaviour worse.

StatementKnickers · 03/06/2020 09:23

Sometimes with children that age it helps to put the attention on the injured one. So you say "no, we don't bite" or whatever, move the biter away and then make a big fuss of "poor sister" with cuddles etc. while ignoring the biter. Takes away the biter's incentive!

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riolou · 03/06/2020 11:14

@StatementKnickers I am still doing that have been for 6month I instantly cuddle my daughter play with her and help her calm down as he really hurts her I remove him most of the time my daughter has to play upstairs with her elder brother

OP posts:
Hedgehog26 · 03/06/2020 11:17

Could you give him a tether or a toy to bite instead? Give it to him as soon as he looks like he’s going to bite, praise him when he used his teeth then fuss his sister and tell him no when he bites her. The. He’s got an outlet for whatever emotion he’s feeling not just being told no

KellyHall · 03/06/2020 11:48

It's usually frustration at not being able to identify or express thier emotions.

I gave dd her teething rings and beads back when she was 2 and having a violent phase.

When she got old enough to understand, we started playing the tantrum game
www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-stop-tantrums-kids_l_5e822d54c5b66ea70fda8084
We play it as a family, taking it in turns to have a tantrum then applaud with a reminder "well done, you got angry without hurting anyone or being horrible to anyone", and high 5s.

She's over 3 years old now and only occassionally lashes out but we had many moments of despair when she was 2.

riolou · 03/06/2020 11:51

Hi , I have bought biting toys the biting has calmed down ALOT but it's been replaced with nipping like really nipping.

OP posts:
FreeKitties · 03/06/2020 11:53

Hi OP have you asked your HV for some support on this ?

riolou · 03/06/2020 16:10

@FreeKitties hi! I have mentioned it a few times but honestly she doesn't seem that fussed she just says , ahhh it's age isn't it he will grow out of it. I say well that's not answered anything I asked you but ok. I never seem to get through to her on a normal level.

OP posts:
pallasathena · 03/06/2020 16:20

Have a look at the supernanny videos on YouTube. Plenty of brilliant advice and practical solutions for the terrible twos!

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