Please may I have your thoughts on a 5 year old and 1 year old sharing a room

[RememberTheSunnierDays]

That’s it really, we have a three bed detached house with the third room being a small single - think toddler bed, wardrobe and changing unit, that’s it. However, it was my office before baby arrived in August and the intention was that we would have found a larger property and be moved before I returned to work in September. Obviously that has not happened and with me usually working from home and now my partner also doing the same for the foreseeable, we need a proper work space - partner currently has a desk set up in our bedroom, which isn’t ideal.

So I was wondering if a 1 year and 5 year old work in the same bedroom so we can restore my office for both of us? We could squeeze two desks in and we are both on laptops, so nothing too big at all.

It would mean bunk beds and the 1 year old being on the bottom or keeping him in his cot longer (we have yet to transfer to toddler bed as he is still too little), but maybe after Christmas this will be something we have to do, so could go onto the bottom bunk then, rather than a toddler bed?

Anyone been in a similar situation and happy to share their experience?

Thanks.

What genders are they? How much does your baby nap? Does he sleep through the night? Do they get on in general?

Could you not just keep the baby in with you, as i assume you'll still be trying to move asap, so its just short term?

Thanks for your response, definitely things to consider.

What genders are they? Boys

How much does your baby nap? Approx 30 mins AM and 1 hr PM - wish it was longer!

Does he sleep through the night? Yes, but has a few more regressions to get through which means he is up every two hours or so.

Do they get on in general? Baby idolises his brother, sometimes reciprocated but sometimes big brother is annoyed by him.

Could you not just keep the baby in with you, as i assume you'll still be trying to move asap, so its just short term? Baby currently in his own room (my old office) and is 9 months old. I’m not due back to work until September but thinking ahead as any adjustment will take time to settle in. We need to buy but also considering renting as this house isn’t sustainable.

I’m currently thinking of playing around with the hallway to fit a desk in so baby can stay where he is.

Why on earth would gender matter for a 1 and 5 year old?!?
We have a 6 and 3 year old sharing and it can be tough around bedtime but I'd say the slightly bigger gap and the baby being younger would make it easier. Might be a bit tricky making sure the older one stays out of the room while baby is napping so it might be a bit chaotic for a few days until they get used to it but having an office in your situation would outweigh that if it was me.

My 2 boys, aged 3 and 2 years old, currently share a bedroom (bunkbeds). My 1 year old is still in with us but I'm due (a very surprise) baby number 4 in August so she needs to join her brothers very shortly! Luckily for us, they all go to bed at the same time so we're hoping it's going to be an easy transition.
This isn't a forever solution but while they are little, I can't see a problem with it! We're still debating on moving or extending into the loft but neither of those things will be happening in the next few months!

I don't think gender matters. The main question would be how light/heavy of a sleeper is your oldest. If little one woke up a few times for the night would he be likely to wake up to the noises? Perhaps do a test run, but maybe just be prepared to keep littlest with your for a little while longer.

My two shared from 2/5 til 7/10. They are boy and girl and it was fine! Part of this was that they are both sound sleepers so once they're off, that's it. If one did wake, the other didn't notice!

Mine shared at 1 and 4, it was fine. 4 year old was sometimes woken by 1 year old in the night, and they would wake each other up in the morning to play.

Your biggest issue is having a safe place for the 5yos non baby safe toys ie Lego.

I think I'd put a desk in your room if you have space rather than the kids sharing.

I can see no issue whatsoever with your children sharing - sounds much more sensible use of space than having toddler just sleep in room which is presumably empty all day.

I have a 5 year old and a 19month old. I would not have them share because the little one tries to climb the ladder to the older ones bunk beds (she's can get about ½ way up - enough to do damage if she falls) and she 'messes up' the 5 year olds collections of stuff. Plenty of kids that age do share I think you just need to be careful to balance safety of the little one without the older one feeling pushed out of their own room.

Of course gender doesn’t matter at that age!

I’m planning on my two sharing. I’m pregnant with a girl and my boy will be 2.5 when she’s born. Will keep her in with us for a year so they’ll be 3.5 and 1 when they start sharing. I shared with my siblings and it was a lovely experience. Much better for you both to have proper office space.

Both my parents shared rooms with 2 siblings until they married.

You don't HAVE to have bunks, you could do a single with a trundle under it, trundle for the older child so the little one can nap or you could 'top and tail' them in the same bed, or use two smaller matresses to make 2 beds in the space of one.

They are not cheap but you can get desks that become beds. www.studybed.co.uk/products/universal-studybed/

Is there no way of fitting a desk in the 1yr olds room? Could you have travel cot in older boys room just for naps and then they still sleep in their room at night.
After years I’d bad sleep there is no way I’d take chances if both your children are currently sleeping well in Their rooms!

I did this and the girls love it. Just finishing a loft conversion, but i think they want to carry on sharing. They are almost 4 and almost 7 now, but hsbe been sharing for years. Chatting at bedtime main negative.

We have our 1yo sharing with our 4.5yo. DS went in with DD at 6m. We have bunks with stairs not a ladder which seemed safer to us. Also the bottom bunk is floor level meaning the top is effectively mid-sleeper height.

There was a time when children had to share bedrooms. I have never had my own Bedroom. I shared with my sister till I left home to get married. Children generally enjoy sharing but there will come a time when they need their own space.

I would be very worried about a five year old getting in and out of a bunk bed at night.

ROSPA advise children under six should not sleep in a bunkbed, they also advise that todders (or children under six) should not sleep on the bottom bunk as there is potential to become stuck in the ladder or have accidents attempting to climb the ladder. They also have to be away from windows and at least 2m away from light fittings.

Do they keep similar hours. We tried to get our DSs to share (about the same ages, one in a single bed one in the toddler bed). Disaster as DS1 goes to sleep instantly at 8 but is awake by 6 whereas DS2 talks to his animals for an hour or so before falling asleep then sleeps until about 7:30. Both of them were ratty and short of sleep. But in principle it can work.

Mine (8+5, g/b) share in bunk beds and have for the last few years. They love being together, they could have their own room as we have a small box room that would fit a bed but apparently they would be too lonely. I love listening to them chatting to each other at bedtime and in the mornings.

My two sons did this at the same age so we could keep a spare room for guests. They loved it. Initially my youngest was in a cot then moved into a toddler bed until he was 4 or 5. The older one was in a regular bed. We stopped when eldest was in year 5. Could you put eldest in a high bed with cot/toddler bed underneath rather than bunk beds?

Mine shared from that age, and still do, same with their cousins. It works well, in both families they have all chosen to continue sharing for years even though space for own rooms. We had a few problems with sleeping in the first week or so, but it was fine after that. They like the company.

I would not have been happy with a bunk bed at that age though, ideally not until both children would be safe on top. It's a lot to expect a toddler not to climb up. Though I think some children are sensible enough at 4/5. I would get a trundle bed or something instead initially.

Thanks for your replies!

I shared as a child but only two years between me and my sister. Agree gender doesn’t matter at this age, but Lego does!! My 5 year old spent a few hours yesterday creating a pirate ship and was very proud, my youngest (currently crawling) wanted in and to play. I just couldn’t make him share his space and have his creations destroyed on a regular basis. Plus as a kid I hated sharing as my sister was messy and I’m not 😂

I think I’m going to keep them in their own rooms, despite it being inconvenient for me not having an office.

To the poster with the suggestion to have a desk in my bedroom, my partner already has done that for him and we don’t have the room to add another in there. However, he has been clearing out the garage and mentioned he could move in there, not ideal as it would need a lot of work to make it comfortable - there’s only a light in there! I’m going to work out the best way to organise the hallway for September.

Thanks again.

How much space do you need when you are working? Would a small fold down desk, attached to a wall work?

My 1 and 4 year old shared a room but the 1 year old was 18 months when she moved in with the 4 year old. I pushed the toddler bed right up to older DDs single bed before getting bunk beds later on. It worked really well for 3 years. I lived them sharing. Once eldest was 7, she started to sleep in b later in mornings and s disturbed by her early rising younger sister.

With the ages of your children, I think it is unfair on your 5 year old to do this now.

Why not continue to pursue moving house? Or do a lift conversion and move in a few years time?

With the bunk bed, I got one with a removable ladder and laid it flat on the top bunk during the day to stop both of them climbing up.

@Fortyfifty I just need a decent sized desk for my laptop, note pad and coffee!