Looking after 2

[arianwe]

Hi,

So I've got 2 little girls (nearly 3 years old, and 9 week old). I have had my partner at home for the past 9 weeks helping me with the girls, however he is back in work in a weeks time. I thought I was ready to take on the challenge of looking after the 2 of them on my own but now I am petrified.

Eldest kicks off every day now and asks me to play with her 700 times a day, even when she can see I am feeding her sister. The split second that she sees I'm not doing anything she runs back over to me asking me to play. This is not going to be something I can do properly while at home alone with the 2 of them. I'm worried because I'd like to take the girls for a walk somewhere but my eldest absolutely would not listen, and would just run off and find it hilarious. During my pregnancy I was planning on going to the park, soft play, families houses etc where I know the eldest would be somewhat confined and I could still look after the baby too. I feel like I'm going to be too scared to leave the house with the 2 of them and that's obviously not how I want to feel.

Any tips on managing 2 children at the same time??!

Would reins work so she can't run off?

Reigns are a really good idea! We bought some about a year ago and never used them so will give that a go. I feel like she might go nuts if I put them on her, but there isn't an alternative if we want to get out! Thanks

Reins * ignore my previous spelling!!

You just have to learn what works for your child. Most of us have been there, thinking "argh! How on earth am I going to manage?!" but you just do.

Lots of positive reinforcement worked for me, praise for walking nicely and asking big sister to show baby brother how we hold mummy's hand to cross the road etc.

And one to one time with eldest when you get home if baby is still napping in pram helps too.

Tell yourself that it's not hard, it's just different.

What worked for me at that age was to keep busy, unfortunately (nothing like the first time round where it was a Netflix fest!) so baby in the sling, doing the cleaning. If my 3yo knew I was busy he would begin to start playing by himself and that increased the more we did it. Obviously it's important that you do play with them at some points.

When at home, do you have a bouncy chair?

With baby sleeping in a bouncer it means you can either sit on the sofa foot-bouncing baby while hands are free to play with / interact with toddler. Or sit on the floor with bouncer on one side of you and toddler playing on other side.

I have been looking after my two alone since the start of April. A four year old and a now nearly six month old, so maybe a slightly easier age gap.

To be honest I am struggling mentally. It feels like a rubbish time to be a mum of two, without the usual support of family, friends, playgroups, soft play, playgrounds etc. So don’t beat yourself up if you find it hard. It is a rubbish situation.

For walks and playing outside I put the baby in a sling and hold my four year old’s hand while he walks. If a younger child wanted to run off I think I would use a buggy for them or reins. We do a lot of throwing ball, bubbles, sandpit in garden. Sometimes the baby is happy to be put down inside while I play with her brother. For feeds I switch the TV on.