Was worried I wouldn’t love my child as much, but damn I was wrong!!

[rhaena]

I gave birth to my first child 9 weeks ago yesterday, a beautiful little girl. It sounds bad when I say it, but I never thought I would love her as much as I do. Growing up I wasn’t a massive fan of kids, but when my siblings all decided to have 3 each I had to get used to them. I love them all to bits but sometimes I would babysit them and think ‘I don’t think this is for me’ (mostly when they were being cheeky and running circles round me). I grew up a bit and realised I did want kids, and I ended up falling pregnant at 21 with my partner.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew I would love this baby. But until she came it wasn’t as real, and sometimes I felt like I was maybe just trying to convince myself. Now? She is in my arms or a sling constantly, and when she’s asleep in her basket I’m either making my partner stare at her with me, or making him look at pictures and videos of her - all while I’m in tears talking about how much I love her, how she is the most perfect little thing I’ve ever laid eyes on and how lucky we are. It’s really overwhelming and I can’t believe how strong it feels. The intensity didn’t come immediately, but every day it gets stronger - when I wake up in the morning and see her face smiling back at me I feel like the luckiest person alive. I’ve struggled with depression for years and gone through counselling, throughout my pregnancy my anxiety was through the roof and I felt like I was going to struggle majorly. Now I feel like this is the most natural thing, and I’ve never felt this happy for so long without crumbling.
Anyone else that used to think that they might struggle fitting into the role of a parent, but has been surprised to find out they love it?

Aww yay this is so lovely to read. Enjoy your little gorgeous girl @rhaena!

Whilst I always wanted children so can’t relate in that way I do understand about saying how much you can’t believe how Much you love them. My little boy is 7 weeks and it’s just amazing what I feel for him. It’s incredible

Do you know something?
It doesn't go away! My two are 16 and 20 and I'm still madly in love with their sweet little faces! I get loads of hugs too....so lucky!
Enjoy every minute of it!

Me! I wasn't sure if I wanted any, but chose to bite the bullet and have one. Then I worried throughout my pregnancy that I might hate parenting, and that I might not love my baby. DS is 2 now and I have loved every minute of it. He wasn't an easy baby, didn't sleep etc, but I didn't even mind the hard bits!

I think it probably helped that I had really low expectations!!

Congratulations rhaena
What a beautiful post. I'm glad to hear that you are loving motherhood - at the moment it seems to be kind of fashionable to only talk about the downsides of parenting so it really is lovely to read such a positive post.
I'm another one who was caught unawares by quite how much I love my children. I never wanted children and was very focused on my career, as was my DH. It wasn't until we were in our early 30s that we changed our minds and even then I had doubts - right until I held my baby for the first time and then I felt that overwhelming love that you describe so well. I went on to have another two and love them every bit as much.
They are all teens or older now and I still love them immensely. I wont claim every day has been perfect, but overall I have found motherhood to be a fabulous experience. I have a very close relationship with all my children and I am incredibly proud of them. I've always found the "best bit" is where we are now. I loved their babyhood, toddler years etc when we were there, but I wouldn't want to go back- seeing them grow up into able and independent young adults is fabulous.
I hope things continue to go well for you. There will be ups and downs so don't be hard on yourself or worry too much if there are times when you don't feel quite as besotted as you do right now. I think especially with our first babies we all want to be perfect and do everything right, but we all make mistakes at times, and there isn't only one right way to do things anyway. Love is the most important thing and it sounds like you have buckets full of that.I am sure your little girl adores you just as much as you do her.

That's so lovely op. I had an accidental pregnancy first time round and spent the whole time worrying about it, thinking I wouldn't be a natural parent, worrying about the money I didn't have at the time etc etc. She turned up and I felt like you - couldn't believe how much I loved her and how perfect she was. Felt the same about my son when he turned up and still adore everything about them (DD is 7.5!) It is lovely to feel such love and I'm so glad youre enjoying your DD.

Congratulations! I was a young mum when I had my eldest, he was unplanned. I spent the whole pregnancy anxious, worried about what people thought, if I’d be a good mum. The minute he was placed in my arms I didn’t care about anyone else,
It was such an overwhelming love. I remember looking at DH and thinking I thought I loved him as much as I could possibly love a person but the love I had for DS was huge compared to the love I had for DH. And 4 years later I still feel it, and I feel the same for his brothers. It’s the best feeling ever!

I was worried I wouldn't love a second as much as my first.... Now I love them all more than I could imagine. My love for my oldest grows too as I watch him with his little siblings.

Until you have a baby, you have no idea how overwhelming the love is. Nothing compares to it. My children are 20 and 23, and the feeling never goes away.