Why does my baby cry when enters bedroom??

[milcmxxx]

So my baby is almost 4 months and whenever it’s nap time (I’ve been having a hard time with naps lately...) and I take her into my bedroom she cries - literally as soon as we walk through the door. She hates nap time!! It’s weird tho because for bedtime she doesn’t cry even tho she knows it’s bedtime. It’s really upsetting me knowing I’m upsetting her. Does anyone have any advice?

No "poping" what a strange interpretation of my posts. Excuse me for being concerned about anyone else's baby.
I think people should make an informed choice about safe sleep guidelines, if they think a monitor is a substitute it would suggest they don't. But, as they say on here, not my circus not my monkeys.

You assumed OP hasnt made an informed choice. Shes chosen to use a moniter. Just because she doesnt agree with you, you've assumed shes not informed.

Hey OP! My daughter did this all the time - she's sob and as soon as I got to the second step she'd chill out and calm down. Only at bedtime though! I've been using the huckleberry app which tells you the sweet spot to put baby to sleep in - it works like a charm! I lie down with her on my chest and she falls straight to sleep without me needing to spend ages rocking her and bouncing her. She's six months old now.

Incidentally, the reason pp are mentioning about what room you're in is because safe sleeping guidelines say that for the first six months baby should be in the same room as you for all sleeping, including naps. I mostly put DD down in her pram when she's asleep or just take the opportunity to relax and let her nap on me while I read or play on my phone. She doesn't have two hour naps often though.

If you're comfortable with the baby monitor instead that's entirely your choice but I'm guessing PP are making sure you're aware of the advice and guidelines.

Definitely recommend the app - it's also great to track nappies and feeding times - it's helped me get a real handle on how much DD drinks

@Letsallscreamatthesistene So I can see 😂😂😂 thank you for your advice! Xx

@zaffa ahh yes I have this app! I’m terrible for using it tho 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’m going to start!! X

@Junebug2020 thanks for your concern but there is really no need, she is very loved and very well cared for...as I said she naps on me90% kf the time and the other 10% I have the baby monitor. She is in my bedroom with me still, won’t be going into her own for ages yet. I’m aware of the sleep guidelines. As mothers here we should be respecting each other and building each other up and not assuming the worst. It’s hard enough being a new mum feeling like you aren’t doing a good job without people coming at you and make you feel even worse. If you have kind advice I’d rather you just get off this thread :)

I asked the same question to my sleep consultant, they said it’s a sleep association and the baby winding down. nothing to worry about as long as they aren’t too distressed. Mine cries when We go into his room and while I put him in his sleeping bag, but stops when I put him down in his bed. He’ll then grizzle (not cry) for a couple of minutes then fall asleep.

@ChelseaCat this has made me feel loads better!!! Thank you. Xx

My ds was like this so I would sing to him while pottering about upstairs. So if I knew I had laundry to fold or bathroom to clean I would leave it til then . Pop in and out if his bedroom til he fell asleep and I was getting a job done too. He loved to hear me singing !

Yes we had this problem i think it's because it's very sudden taking him upstairs to bed, and also we were always a bit late leaving him overtired. Once we started being proactive about getting him for naps on time and also try to have a really really short mini r routine for naps, pick him up and cuddle but stop playing, then put on music, then i used to walk upstairs really slowly, then visit every room upstairs even the loo and finally into the bedroom, that seemed to make it less of a surprise.
Regarding safe sleep advice yes you're supposed to stay with them so they can hear you breathing and moving as it helps them regulate their breathing etc, but it's not as dangerous as you'd think not to. Just you'd never forgive yourself if something were to happen.seemed

Do you know OP, I had hidden the thread until you @'d me, I wasn't aware OP's were in a position to tell other posters to get off a thread (complete with passive aggressive smiley face). I'm sure every mother ever (well 99.99%) have a well loved baby it doesn't mean they were born with some kind of instruction manual that told you exactly how to keep them safe - we rely on shared knowledge and the advice was clearly unwelcomed by you but might have been useful to someone else. Babies do still die from cot death, thankfully not in the numbers they used to, and maybe before jumping down someone's throat like this you should consider why we might be so keen to ensure parents knew what the guidelines were.

@Junebug2020 I wasn’t being passive aggressive sorry if it came across that way, what I mean is as a PP said, we never asked about guidelines, I am aware of them and even if I leave her, which is rare, I have a baby monitor and check on her regularly anyway, other than that she naps on me or I nap myself next to her. Guidelines are guides, not rules. My intent wasn’t to be rude or passive aggressive, but everyone parents differently and we need to respect that, where I don’t allow screen time, some mums do and that’s fine, some mums breastfeed, some formula feed. It’s not like I leave the house and just forget she’s there. Besides, she doesn’t nap half as well when she’s not on me, wakes up about 20 mins later 🤷🏼‍♀️ So usually ends up napping on me anyway. X

It's a constant battle science vs parenting experience, our health visitor is about 25 and is lovely and extremely knowledgeable and helpful, but she said it's so hard helping some people as they think having had a couple of kids trumps a degree and several years of professional development.
I think this is one of those personal choice vs science things, if people truly understand the science they are free to do what they like, and sids guidance is based on very small but real risks.
I get the impression a lot of the advice and guidance is over emphasised, because the guidance when our parents were bringing our generation up was actually wrong.

@johnd2 I agree, and to be honest sids is one of those things that really terrifies me. I know what you mean about our parents, my Dad was telling me I could wean at 4 months 🤔 I was like no...
My baby napped on me every nap today apart from once in the car. I’m doing my best and that’s all we can all do x

DC (5 months) cries for 5 minutes every time I put her down awake. It’s like it’s part of their routine now so I’m not worried.

Ive just twigged that my son cries whenever we change him into his sleepsuit for the night time. Literally stops as soon as we pick him up.

to be honest sids is one of those things that really terrifies me

Just because it's been discussed, but not linked to, here are the SIDS recommendations.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/room-sharing/

"The safest place for your baby to sleep is a separate cot or Moses basket in the same room as you for the first 6 months, even during the day"

You should be in the same room as baby at all times when they sleep, daytime naps included. Monitors are irreverent to lowering this risk.

You are also taking a SIDS risk holding your baby as they sleep. This is especially important if you're tired (as most new mums are most of the time).

Whether you choose to take those risks or not is personal. But you seem to suggest in the sentence above that you take SIDS risk seriously. I don't know if this meant you didn't realise that you were already taking risks?

To follow safe sleeping, you need a cot or Moses basket downstairs for baby to sleep in during the day. Or you take baby upstairs and use the time to rest on your bedroom with baby as they sleep.

Actually @FATEdestiny the comments regarding holding your baby whilst you're awake and baby is asleep are not quite accurate. The Lullaby Trust states that sleeping on parents chest is beneficial to baby provided that you are awake.

I also asked the health visitor and midwife about it as DD would only sleep on me for some time during the day (and still naps on me often now) and they both said as long as you are awake then it's not considered a risk and actually hearing your heartbeat and breathing helps regulate theirs.

@Lenny1980 she only cries for 5 mins too so this makes me feel loads better!! Maybe it is just a part of her routine! X

@FATEdestiny agreeing with what zaffa said, my mother and best friend are health visitors and have said it’s perfectly safe so long as I’m not sleepy and awake - as well as my own health visitor saying so too. There is nowhere a baby would rather be than asleep on their mum or dad, it’s how it’s been since the beggining of time, before cribs or Moses baskets 🤷🏼‍♀️ And I’m always awake I just quietly watch TV or online shop, if I feel myself getting tired (which is rare) I would just put her down and I’d have a nap too.

Just thought I’d give a lil update here - I started doing a little routine before naptime so that she anticipates it coming and I don’t just spring it upon her. She doesn’t cry now (only sometimes and not for long at all) and takes about 5-10 mins to put her down. I’m so happy! Just woke up from an hour and a half nap with her 😴 (she was in her crib, I was in my bed) thanks everyone for your advice xxx

Great news - well done OP! 🎉

My LO’s naps have become a DISASTER!!!!!