How to discipline?

[Neemi1201]

Hi all,
Can anyone please recommend a good book on discipline and how to raise children, with perhaps a focus on mindful parenting?

My mum smacked me as a child, and even if it wasn’t now illegal (in Scotland), I still wouldn’t go down that route., so I’m really starting from the beginning here.

My son is now nine months and he seems to understand ‘no’ sometimes, (I have an area of the living room cordoned off from him, and he looks at me and laughs hysterically whenever he goes near it, but doesn’t actually fully go over to it). However, I’m not sure if it’s the word or tone of voice he understands, and also at what age I would start disciplining him, for example with a time out?

Any help/advice appreciated - thanks!

I think Jo Frost aka Supernanny has great and fair methods.

A firm ‘no’ at this age. IME the most effective form of discipline is to take attention away. Any attention is good attention to a toddler. I’ve used time outs when the behaviour has required - so hitting etc - when the child has needed to be physically removed from hurting. Mostly I focus on the positives, ignore the negatives (as much as possible). Choose your battles wisely. Otherwise it’s exhausting for you and detrimental to you both.

Mine are all teenagers now. I still subscribe to this way of thinking. More so than ever.

And don’t forget he is still learning so give him a chance. Like you I was smacked and remember it clearly - I was often confused by what I was being disciplined for.

When your child gets to around 2 years old and hits a rapid developmental phase, what is called them terrible twos’ boils down to frustration and not understanding. Physical, intellectual and emotion development is all going on.

Again, when they hit their teens - I swear, it happens again. This time it’s all about emotional intelligence but it’s much the same behaviour as toddler days again in so many ways.

You’re in it for the long haul. Don’t enter into a negative spiral If you can help it. It’s takes up so much of your mental and emotional energy. You are going to be cranky, exhausted, hungry and upset because you are human too. Make sure you take care of yourself.

The Gentle Discipline Book by Sarah Ockwell-Smith is a great one.

It's not a parenting book as such but 'The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read' by Philippa Perry is excellent. She is a psychotherapist and it's very much centred on therapeutic principles.

Depends on your approach to parenting. Personally I don’t like time out.

When he is older how to talk so little children listen is good. Until then a no and removing him from the situation is needed. Toddlers don’t have impulse control.

For what it’s worth we have just started with the “timeout” / “naughty step” and my dd is 2 yrs 9months- before this she didn’t really understand it.
We always said no and tried to distract her with something during a tantrum. However her understanding/ vocab has vastly improved recently and she now understands warnings and consequences a lot better.

Simply on Purpose on Instagram completely transformed my parenting and my teaching. It is all about developmentally appropriate positive parenting. She pointed out that the root of the word discipline is discipulus- which is Latin for pupil. It opened my mind a bit about using discipline as a way of teaching instead of for punishment.

The books I really liked were 'Little Angels' by Dr Tanya Byron (when they were little) and 'Easier Calmer Happier Parenting' by Noel Janis Norton (as they got older).

My philosophy is very much a firm but fair approach with the importance of recognising their development level,