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Parenting

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Original poster

How old is too old for a comfort teddy?

78 replies

ZestyLemons · 27/05/2020 09:40

7yo carries his crusty old teddy that he's had since birth with him everywhere. Has to be reminded not to take it out with him, at home it's permanently stuck under one arm and we are forever telling him to put it down (eg if asked to take something up to his bedroom he has to be reminded that teddy doesn't need to go with him/he'd be able to carry his cup of water without spilling it if he didn't have teddy lodged under his arm/doesn't need to be at the dinner table with him). It has been to school with him a few times and he's been laughed at by peers. Getting it in the wash is a battle.
He's a sensitive little boy. Wondering if this is normal.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RingaRosie · 27/05/2020 10:37

DH is rather fond of my teddy. He was here long before DH, I suppose!

SoMuchToBits · 27/05/2020 10:38

Ds still took his teddy bear to bed until he was 15. Then suddenly overnight didn't want him any more. He just decided himself when was the right time.

Megan2018 · 27/05/2020 10:39

I can’t see anything concerning about a comfort toy. All children are different, some need them, some don’t.

I didn’t and my brother did, his went everywhere with him until he was about 12.

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louderthan1 · 27/05/2020 10:39

I'm 39 and still have a disgusting ratty black and white cat who sleeps with me every night. And I got him when I was 19 😂

Steamfan · 27/05/2020 10:41

Why would you be concerned? I'm in my 60s and still have Little Ted - he travels with me!

Kezmum14 · 27/05/2020 10:42

I still ‘twiddle’ a pillow and. I’m 38, I stopped taking it out of the house for sleepovers when I was about 14. I still use it now and I’m 37! I wouldn’t worry about him having it, I’d be more concerned about him loosing it. 7 is still so young and I don’t see any problems with him having a comforter. :)

Elephantonascooter · 27/05/2020 10:44

I'm 24 and have many teddies. I select one for cuddles each day. Dh loves them. DS loves them even more!

Homebird8 · 27/05/2020 10:55

My DH (50) is currently dealing mental health problems. His DM gave away his teddy at 10. It is part of a bigger picture but has come up with his therapist. Leave the teddy alone. Your DS will know when it doesn’t matter as much any more.

AddedHiccup · 27/05/2020 10:58

He's only seven. Seven is very young. To see a seven year old carrying a cuddly toy wouldn't be noteworthy at all to me.

MarshaBradyo · 27/05/2020 11:00

Fine. 10 year old doesn’t carry his but sleeps with two teddies.

WeAllHaveWings · 27/05/2020 11:04

It is normal for some children to get attached to a comforter and it helps to soothe or calm them. Most, not all, grow out of it well before they are 7 as they learn other coping mechanisms.

Of course people keep their comforters well into adulthood as it has many childhood memories, but very few need them.

The problem is when older children need the comforter rather than just want it. If he is very reliant on the comforter, rather than just carrying it out of habit, I would continue to gently discourage, help him develop other coping mechanisms and realise the world won't come to an end if the comforter isn't available. If it is just habit he'll learn soon enough from his peers that its best left at home.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 27/05/2020 11:05

7 is really wee let him take comfort where he can.

My 12 yr old is doing maths in the garden right now with her bear under her arm. All my kids have a special cuddly (so do I), they are all part of daily life & have their grand adventures described in detail. (They don’t leave the house except for holidays though - far to frightened of them being lost!!)

Love51 · 27/05/2020 11:06

I didn't have one. Some people took them to university. Don't think there was a discernable difference.

Toddlerteaplease · 27/05/2020 11:09

My sister still has hers. He's 37. I was entrusted to look after him when she went travelling for 6 months. He slept on my bed every night.

Kaykay066 · 27/05/2020 11:12

My son had 2 he ducked his thumb and rubbed ears and tail one came everywhere till he got distracted and left it in elc in Glasgow and broke his heart - I was upset too then we got the thing back and it never left the house again but he sucked thumb and rubbed them for years and still does if he’s ill/sad and he’s 19 this year

Snagscardies · 27/05/2020 11:13

What's the problem with needing a soft toy, smokers like the comfort of holding a cigarette as well as the nicotine, people seek comfort in alcohol and junk food, people seek comfort from unsuitable partners.
I can't see why people become uncomfortable when someone loves a toy. To the pp who said about her dh mental health after the teddy being thrown out I'm not surprised it's still an issue.

BertieBotts · 27/05/2020 11:14

When DS1 started secondary school (age 10 in Germany, though he had just turned 11) they had a getting-to-know-you residential weekend trip a couple of months into the term, and the packing list included "favourite teddy" :)

Pieceofpurplesky · 27/05/2020 11:15

51 and sleep with a cuddly jaguar. DS is 16 and still sleeps with his cushion

BertieBotts · 27/05/2020 11:16

My only rule for things like this is that they don't leave the house (once DC is old enough to understand and be OK with this) unless you're going somewhere to sleep. This is mainly to avoid the issue of it being lost, which would be a disaster.

Piggyhoolier · 27/05/2020 11:16

My DS is 7 and keeps his cuddly with him for large parts of the day. Completely normal. Ted comes on holiday with us and often on day trips, we only discourage when there’s a chance it’ll get lost because we’d all be very sad if Ted were lost. 10yr old DD also has a Ted that she still takes on sleepovers and occasionally carries about the house. Both toys are grotty to look at (although clean, I bung them in the machine) but so important to our family and the kids mental well-being. Your DS is fine OP.

ZarkingBell · 27/05/2020 11:17

never

puppymouse · 27/05/2020 11:19

DD is six and still has the pink muslin cloths she had as a baby. She takes one everywhere and struggles to recharge and process without one. We're working on it. They don't go to school though.

Mayhemmumma · 27/05/2020 11:25

In almost all of our lockdown photos my 8year old DD has hers tucked under her arm. I love the comfort it brings her! Shes confident and happy, almost has it as a friend rather than reassurance, although when tired its defintely a comfort thing.

limpingparrot · 27/05/2020 11:32

I’d stop letting him take it to school, the risk of losing it is too high! No special teddies out the house here. Apart from that, I was really happy that my son attached to a little rabbit rather than a his dummy as that meant he could keep it forever. My special cuddly toy is now my son’s rabbit’s mother.

Buzzfrightyears · 27/05/2020 11:34

I’m 32 and still sleep with my old soft toy (who is 29 I think) as well as my husband. Seven is just so young! Let him be little. He won’t be carting it off to secondary school with him.

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