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Original poster

Confused about baby’s development

19 replies

teabag76 · 27/05/2020 09:18

My baby was born seven days early and is now 4 weeks old. I’m reading one of those baby ‘week by week’ books that tells you how your baby should be developing week by week.

Because my baby was born at 39 weeks, does that mean he’s a week behind a baby born full term - so things a full term baby might do at 4 weeks, he’d do at 5? Or does it all just even out after birth? Confused

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 27/05/2020 09:20

I week early is not classed as premature so your baby is classed as "term"

My advice to you is to throw away any book that tries to tell you what your baby "should" be doing on a week to week basis

haveyoutriedgoogle · 27/05/2020 09:20

I believe 38 weeks is considered full term.
However, I’m pretty sure those ‘weeks’ are also a general guide and wouldn’t be winding myself up too much about them...

Dyra · 27/05/2020 09:46

37 weeks is considered full term in the UK.

Please don't get caught up in what the book says your baby "should" be doing by a certain week. They're guidelines, not absolutes. And some of it they skip altogether!

I did this in the early months with my little girl (born at 37 weeks), and all it bought me is stress on top of being a FTM. Try not to compare to others either. Another thing I did, especially against babies in our NCT group. Comparison really is the thief of joy. Baby is nearly 9 months now and proceeding very nicely at her own pace.

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Pinkflipflop85 · 27/05/2020 10:02

Throw the book away and enjoy your newborn.

DappledThings · 27/05/2020 10:54

My advice to you is to throw away any book that tries to tell you what your baby "should" be doing on a week to week basis

This.

Pinkblueberry · 27/05/2020 10:59

As pp have said, chuck the book - this is going to suck all the fun out of the first weeks with your baby. It makes no sense to track development by exact weeks - slightly early babies are no more behind than late babies would be advanced. The only time this may apply is if a baby is significantly early. A week is nothing.

Firstimemam · 27/05/2020 11:05

I agree with @AnyFucker, mine was born at 39 weeks and I drove myself mad when he didn't do what the book said. He's an individual and the books just make you worry. Enjoy your time with your baby x

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 27/05/2020 11:06

I have a 9 week old and have stopped looking up baby milestones. I urge you to do the same too. Especially whilst they're so young. Itll do nothing for your mental health.

Muffinandcake123 · 27/05/2020 13:59

I used to feel the same. Now I don't care. All babies progress differently.

Cardboard33 · 27/05/2020 14:12

I actually found it quite comforting to read those kind of books. As long as you take everything you read with a pinch of salt you can pick up some good tidbits. For example, when we read that most babies can't sleep through the night until they're a certain weight we were comforted by that as it could potentially explain why our (v light) baby wasn't sleeping as well as other much heavier babies who could go longer without milk. But yeah, you do have to ensure you don't take it as gospel because babies will have other ideas. I think we read multiple weeks at the same time.

My baby was 36 weeks and in the beginning he was a bit "behind", particularly compared to babies who were 2 weeks late, but 39 weeks is pretty much bang on. I remember taking him to his 6 week check and the GP was like "is he smiling?" and I was like no, he could have just literally been born now!! Grin

Original poster
teabag76 · 27/05/2020 16:12

@Cardboard33 Me too - it’s good to be prepared for things like unexplained crying (peaks during week 6 apparently!) which I wouldn’t necessarily know otherwise.

The Wonder Weeks app was what got me thinking about it, because it asks you to enter the baby’s due date rather than the birth date and works from that Confused

OP posts:
DappledThings · 27/05/2020 17:46

But the whole Wonder Weeks thing falls down as soon as you realise that babies don't work on so tight a schedule. A baby born at 39 weeks might start smiling at 4 weeks after birth or 5 weeks or 3 weeks.

None of those weeks are "wrong" and when you have to try and tweak the app to take account of a 39 week baby, which is not premature rather than a 40 week baby it just shows how nonsensical it is.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 27/05/2020 17:57

I find wonder week so vague you can always find something in there that you apply to your baby

DappledThings · 27/05/2020 18:03

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

I find wonder week so vague you can always find something in there that you apply to your baby
It works on the same principle as horoscopes!
Elephantonascooter · 27/05/2020 18:17

The baby hasn't read the book so won't know what it's meant to be doing week by week.

Seriously... Step away from the books and apps. A quick Google at the time will tell you what you need to know about things you arnt sure about.
Please just focus on your baby and yourself. Be present and in the moment

Elephantonascooter · 27/05/2020 18:20

For example, when we read that most babies can't sleep through the night until they're a certain weight we were comforted by that as it could potentially explain why our (v light) baby wasn't sleeping as well as other much heavier babies who could go longer without milk.

I'm sorry but this is the biggest load of bollocks I've ever read
This is the type of shit which results in desperately tired parents over feeding their children. Complete twaddle. And book that tells you this should be burnt

Cardboard33 · 28/05/2020 12:27

@elephantonascooter I'm glad you find my opinion "the biggest load of bollocks you've ever read" - if you feel that strongly then I'd suggest you don't ever read some of the trash that's called news.

@teabag76 I feel our baby just constantly cried, hehe. No, seriously I think they're harmless as long as you're in the right head space and take everything you read with a pinch of salt. It was also a good reminder for things that we'd have otherwise forgotten (although I forget what now!) Believe it or not, I don't have a morbidly obese 15 month old Wink he's currently wearing 6-9 month clothing!

The wonder weeks is a totally different ball game through as it's so so vague. I got the book from the library out of curiosity and just found it so wishy washy.

Bol87 · 29/05/2020 12:03

Don’t stress OP, even if you do want to follow week by week books, those weeks are give or take a week either side! So being born at 39 weeks is kinda irrelevant. Your baby might smile at 4,5,6 weeks whether born on their due date, early or late! My first was born a week late and didn’t smile until she was 6 weeks (so 7 weeks past due date). My second was born on her due date at was smiling regularly from 4 weeks. 🤷🏼‍♀️

My second is 10 weeks old and I’m not following anything this time. It’s so much better. Wonder Weeks never used to match my elder daughter, she’d be at her happiest during a stormy week and miserable during a sunny one!

And please don’t bank on crying peaking at 6 weeks 😂 DD2 is 10 weeks & still cries just as much! Babies cry. But you get better at predicting their needs and spotting their cues! Yesterday, I managed to get my daughter down for naps without any tears all day as I totally nailed it noticing her sleep cues. Today, I keep missing them and she’s cried a fair bit!

ShowOfHands · 29/05/2020 12:12

My DS was born at just before 37 weeks and was smiling socially at 2 weeks, so before he was even due.

Babies are term at 37 weeks so no need for adjustment, but those books are very general guides.

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