Feel-good routines in your child’s life or what you experienced as a child?

[Victoria111]

Hi guys,

I’ve just been reading about Danish parenting & the emphasis they put on moment of Hygge (feel good, cosy moments, often enjoyed with friends & family), & it really got me thinking about my childhood which was a little chaotic & lacking in routine; where “feel good” moments of connectivity as a family weren’t a priority.

I do clearly remember making pizzas with a friend & her mum evening Fri eve after swimming, or holidaying with a friend & always ending the day cuddled up with a BBQ & marshmallows on the beach. I can see how these moments would really enrich a child’s life & I would love to start implementing some now while they’re so young. Obviously they don’t always have to include food , but I thought weekly movie night with homemade popcorn could be a nice addition.

Soo, what do you do with your families to allow space for these moments, or is there anything you did in your childhood that really stands out to you & helped shape you now & the relationship with your family?

I would love to hear :)

My mum made us macdonalds type meal. She had bought skinny chips and served in a ceramic pot with another tiny one for ketchup. I remember being so touched for her efforts because she hated macdonalds.

Dd (7) and I have always done a chapter of a book cuddled up together in mine and Dh's bed before she goes to her room. We've read The Borrowers, Faraway Tree, The Wishing Chair, Narnia, Just So Stories etc. Books she wouldn't necessarily read by herself but enjoys reading them together. Now she is a very good reader and often reads the chapter to me, she likes being able to ask questions about meaning etc and it's a lovely relaxing way to end the day.

We also have movie and a takeaway night (not always from a takeaway, sometimes things like hotdogs and veggie sticks or homemade pizza).

We've recently moved and when all the restrictions start to relax a bit more I'm hoping to introduce a walk in the nearby forest after dinner a few nights a week to enjoy the summer air.

Ditto on the book reading. I remember from a young age reading in bed with mum and dad. The chronicles of Narnia specifically. I also remember dad coming home from work and giving us a bath.
Another food one, we used to always have breakfast in bed with mum and dad in sunday mornings. Croissants and cups of tea/milk. It would be mum, dad, little bro, dog, cat and myself!
Family picnics down by a local river fishing with nets (and returning the fish).

Every Friday night I stayed at my grandparents. I went to the shop and was allowed to buy my favourite crisps and comic with my grandad then my Nan fed me braised steak and gravy then I sat squished down the side of my granddad chair all night whilst my Nan went bingo. He let me watch V with him

I lived for those Friday nights as my parents were really shit.

Those were my cosy dependable safe nights.

Mine are early twenties now, but we all remember:

Sittingroom picnics - when the weather was rubbish we'd have a picnic on the sittingroom floor, complete with picnic box and blanket. Admittedly there'd often be a film of choice on as well.

They didn't sleep in my bed, but they'd climb in in the mornings, and would often come for a late evening chat. Come to think of it they still do when they visit.

Reading. All curled up on a sofa with me reading to them.

We had a very long garden and they liked hiking up it with me, though it was often more a case of them hauling me up .

Shopping. Always had to visit the Disney Store and Waterstones. We still do it. Coffee breaks and lunch. It's an all-dayer

Shared interest. We'd ride horses together. Good memories of just mooching along nattering or just enjoying the moment.

Absolutely lovely. How lucky they were to have you growing up :) I love the idea of the ongoing bed chats- such a nice way to have that opportunity for them to open up to you!

Luna- this is so interesting. We would get actual McDonalds drive-through every couple of weeks & eat it quietly in the car but I don’t particularly cherish the memory of that. Your mum went that extra mile for you in making you her own version out of love which may not have been the real-deal McDonald’s, yet in hindsight- for you, it was better! Love it!

On a Sunday morning we would jump into bed with mum and dad and just play and chat - we have started the same with our son, he is nearly 3 now so we let him jump in and make tents and caves with the duvet.

Sunday evenings after tea time was playtime with dad when he would be a horse and we would climb all over him and play for a couple of hours after our bath.

Tea times were our talking time. We would always all sit as a family and sometimes for hours we would stay chatting at the table ( we carry that on at home, no tv, no phones and we all sit as a family and chat)

My mum used to pick out the letters from Alphabites and spell our names out at the top of our plates.

I have so many lovely memories and VHS from when we were little. We were blessed to have an amazing mum, I wish she was here to see her Grandson grow up, memories are so important, make lots and make them nice ones.

Summers spent at the grandparents summer place and we walk to the shop most days to get an ice cream and sit by the dock Watching the boats go by.

Doing activities like art or board games together.

Going to the park and taking walks together.

Baking with my daughter (son is less interested !)

Snuggled up in bed for reading in the evening.

Movies with pizza or ice cream.

We used to have ‚midnight feasts‘ which meant we got a snack in bed and Fitbit stay up a bit later (realistically I think it was some crisps at 8pm) but we were so excited. It felt naughty and special... Saturday and Subday mornings chatting in Mum and Dad‘s bed. A Chinese takeaway when we got back from travelling because there was no food in the house. Making a small camp fire in the Garden. Walking to the pub for a pub lunch. Hot chips sheltering in a beach hut on a cold wet beach.

My dad reading us a chapter of a story at night. All sitting up and playing cards on holiday. At Christmas we had a 'film festival' we each picked a film and watched them all over the Christmas holiday. Mum and dad putting their records on and us dancing around the living room on Sunday afternoons. I'm hoping to carry some of them on now dh and I have a baby (he already reads a little story, our lad is captive!) and make some nice routines of our own 🙂

My DC are still young but we:
Always have boiled eggs and soldiers on a Saturday morning. It's non negotiable
We have started to have one-on-one trips out with each child every few months (eg cinema trip one child with one parent) and call it "special mummy DCName time".
Eat at the table all together at least 4 evenings a week.
Days out to national trust places or local seaside resort

"It's non negotiable" made it sound like I threaten them with eggs. I meant that they insist!!

I was thinking about this the other day, talking about it with my DH.

My mum used to take me and a friend swimming often after school on a Friday, then we'd often have pizza at our house and a sleepover.

On the weekends we would often go to the video rental shop to choose a film, me and sister taking it in turns. And as a family would share a tube of Pringles or something.

My DC are young but I can't wait to start traditions like this. I've been trying to instil movie night but my 4 year old doesn't have much attention span for films and insists on tv shows instead!

What a lovely thread

I feel the same as I do remember some cosy things but I would like my DC to have an overall calmer and more content childhood, even in the face of busy loves for the parents.

My dc are very little so they're a bit young for anything other than routine stuff like bubble baths, bedtime stories and bedtime snacks which I hope my DC will remember fondly.

Going forward I want to make the most of weekdays or at least make them a bit more memorable. I also want to do a popcorn and hot chocolate movie night once a week, and would like to have a special breakfast on Monday mornings to make them something to better look forward too.

My other plans tend to centre on making things as that's what I loved doing as a child and would have loved to have done more stuff like that. As well as making a big fuss of birthdays and Christmas.

I absolutely can't wait until my own DC are old enough to be read stories that I enjoy. Roald Dahl, the Jungle Book, Harry Potter. I think that will be very cosy

Oh we are sadly lacking in hygge routines in our family right now. And it's showing. We used to read a book together every evening but now the older ones are 13 and 14 and the youngest is 8 it's hard to find something everyone wants to read. We were planning to watch a film this afternoon but there was so much discussion / argument about what to watch that we gave up.
I really must try harder with this because the kids are all needing it.
I will keep checking in for some tips.

My dad would read to me if he was home early from work or on weekends/holidays. He also made up silly stories when he was driving me to school.

Family picnic days in the summer where we would go and spend the day at a local outdoor pool (it was in a grassy area, lots of space to play)

Sunday mornings once I was about 4 and my sister was 2 I was allowed to take her downstairs and watch cartoons, mum would leave little cereal packets and juice boxes out so we could have a DIY breakfast and they could sleep in. We loved it!

This is a lovely thread! I remember Saturday nights my dad would take us to the shop after dinner and we got to chose some sweets and he bought a lottery ticket and when we got home my mum would have the living room set up nice and cosy and we would all sit and watch Saturday night tv and check the lottery numbers. I also remember whenever we stayed with my gran and grandpa we would all cocoa and toast before bed

On Sunday mornings dad would go to the bakery and get fresh rolls which were still hot from the oven, and the newspaper, and we would eat the rolls for breakfast together with butter and jam and read the newspaper or do the kids puzzles section or read through the free Sunday classifieds