Revised expections for when I have 4 children: or, survival tips for large families, please!!

[lljkk]

Somewhat bricking m'self as I reach the 1/2-way mark in fourth pregnancy. Please tell me how you cope with four children, including tiny baby, all under 9yo.... Is it ok if I'm late to school every day, 2nd-born doesn't learn to swim until she's 10?, etc.

Oh, I could waffle on about the joy of 4 for ages! My LO is 10 weeks, I have 5, 4, and 2.9. They go swimming every Saturday, haven't been late for school yet, mind you:

I get up half an hour before anyone to have my shower and cuppa, I have breakfast things out as soon as the tea things are cleared away, make tomorrows lunch whilst they are eating their dinners, shop on-line, plan meals, always cook more than you need to freeze/use the next day, get their clothes/bags ready the night before.

Its blardy hard work!

But its great! They are all out at school/nursery this morning and lo is laughing and cooing with me.

I had 4 under 9 and the last two are twins. Lower your expectations do what you are able and not what you feel you are expected to do. Everyone is different and if you are able to get to school on time and teach them all to swim great, if not does it really matter. So long as they are cared for, loved and nourished they will go far.

Mine are older now and they have not shown any detriments for mum having to split herself into 5. So don't worry you will be fine and you have all these mumnetters to help you.

I had 4 DC under the age of 7. Hard work but you get on with it. Frequently a little bit late for school but they get there in the end! We never had to miss out on afterschool activities i.e. swimming, horseriding etc because you manage. Don't brick yourself - it doesn't have to be a negative You're not superwoman but prob will work a bit harder to keep everyone happy. I find the hardest thing is keeping something for myself. You'll be fine.

i have five, eldest 10, LO 9 weeks. it is great you get hard bits, bedtime at present is a nightmare but worth it, dont forgot your older ones get more able to help every year, a LO can be plonked onto a child from 6 up for a few minutes while you get the tea on the table, i will leave my eldest at home for an hour while i take the 6 year to her swimming lesson, the younger ones are generally much more independent and able to entertain themselves and the older ones can read books/ play with toddlers, again only for a short time but it lets you get things done
but you do have to be very organised, particularly about food which is a bore
and finding time for yourself is an issue, personally i run, exercise, me time and can be done and dusted in an hour
working part time is great too, wonderful just forgetting about the domestic side for a few hours!

I have 5 lo is 22 months eldest is almost 10 it's hard but you just get on iwth it and sort of fall into a routine

Just buy loads of food shop at primark (at least for vests pants and socks )

I have never been late for school either so i'm sure you will be fine x

I am already late to school at least once a week . And I suppose 2nd born would probably wait to swim until age 10 even if she was an only.

My biggest problem is I don't have any support system (not even a paid babysitter I can call on), and can't think how to develop a support system, either. Trying to organise work around the lack of childcare... hahaha. God Bless Nicola Horlick who said (something like) -- "It was easy for me to have a career and 5 children, I had a cleaner, a nanny and an au pair!"

Maybe I'm lucky DC aren't interested in out of school activities, but then you read stuff like Cod's advice about the mandatory 1 hour/after school exercise per day for boys, and I think I physically CANNOT make that happen not least because they don't want to, anyway.

Actually when I was making my list of worries I realised tht most of my concerns weren't high priorities.

But of the mums i know with 4+ children:

• one is beautiful and nice but scatty; us other mums tut-tut because she never replies to party invites
• one has the nicest DC and patience of a saint but her DC have tooth decay (chivvied home with sweets every day)
• one is a bundle of neuroses
• one never gets any sleep
• one looks like a concentration camp victim
• one just had her partner leave her
• just one is glam and consistently cheerful.

Any way you could get a cleaner? Makes a huge difference to our life.

I'm a sahm so can't help on the juggling work/family front, but my experience is that other mums, friends and neighbours have been more than willing to help me out with school runs, play dates etc.

you'll make it work!