Feeling really overwhelmed and low

[Crazydiamond106]

I have a 4 month old daughter..first baby. The last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling really low, anxious and just like I’m not coping as well. I can’t figure out why because I was getting far less sleep and it was harder in the earlier weeks with colic, all day crying etc. It’s comparatively ‘easy’ now and I just feel like I have far less energy and resilience than I did before...

I had no issues bonding from the outset, I was instantly in love but now I just feel overwhelmed and like I desperately need a break and a little time away from her as horrific as that sounds (hours not days!). I’m breastfeeding full time which makes it harder to get as much of a break and obviously with lockdown there’s no babysitting / date nights etc. My husband tries but works full time and the baby won’t settle well with him so I feel it’s very much always on me.

I just feel really low and know I have to be ‘on’ and smiley etc with her and feel so guilty if I’m not my best with her. She’s started sleeping more now but I find I still can’t sleep...I feel very anxious at night worrying about allsorts like her getting ill or stupid things in the middle of the night...also I think the pressure of trying to get back to sleep before she wakes up. I desperately need a break but then I feel like I can’t relax if my husband takes her while I try sleep...I worry about her which i know is irrational as he’s more than capable.

Just a vent really I’m sure it’s normal and sure I have it easy compared to those with 2+ young children.

I think what your feeling at the moment is normal with a young baby and a lock down. Can your husband not watch the baby for a short while while you go for a walk. Maybe call a member of your family or a friend whilst your doing it and have an adult conversation.

I feel you! Babies are difficult and being a parent isn't easy!

First off I'd just leave baby with dad. The lo wont settle unless he gets a chance to. If your partner gives up easily or you whip them away as soon as they start grumbling then itll never happen. If that means you go for a walk on your own and baby screams for an hour then that's ok. It will get better. You need to trust he can cope, it's going to be a long 18+ years if you dont!

I would have gone insane without a break. I felt like a cow bfing and needed time away from my lo.

My second just turned 4months. The drudgery has hit that's all. The excitement and newness and hormones of the first few months is over and you are left with boredom, weariness and the realisation that your independent life is over.

It gets better. Weaning helps, fewer nappies helps. My recommendation is to carve out a little time to yourself, even half an hour to work.on something. A novel, training, exercise, something that gives you a sense of progress. I recommend learning a new skill. This stops everyday being the same repetitive thankless task and something to look forward to.

My first is 5 months next week. I've felt like you for the last few weeks. I think the age they're at is difficult too.

" The excitement and newness and hormones of the first few months is over and you are left with boredom, weariness and the realisation that your independent life is over. "

This too. So much this. And lockdown makes it 1000000 worse.

Mine is 8 months now but still sometimes feel the panic of trying to get back to sleep before he rewakes (still up every 2 or so hours at night)! I find i nap much better if I'm home alone, could your DH take the baby out for a walk or even a drive and then the baby is distracted and you have noone to worry about and can nap or even just lay and relax with some time to yourself?