Ok Buckle in...
I have a fiance who is also the owner of a medium sized business... he's never been much help around the house as he is a workaholic and I had kind of come to terms with it. We never spent time together (we did initially) and he would never want to go out on weekends or basically do anything fun, we have never had a holiday until 5 years in. I understand, he's busy, I support where I can but it's caused many a row...
Fast forward to having our baby, who is now few weeks old, and lockdown... partner refused to take Pat leave which to be honest I sort of expected deep down even though he's WFH and I begged him to... I'm sleeping in a spare room with babe as he didn't want his sleep disturbed. I've always known he was selfish and self centred in a non malicious way, he was properly mothered and still is by my MIL (still irons his shirts for work etc) And he 'can't' do anything such as cooking. We had a cleaner as I was working 40 hours a week also and studying but that was pre lock down so now we don't have one and it's harder as baby is attached to my hip, I do what I can when he's asleep though rather than resting myself as I hate the comments about the house being messy.
Anyway, I've always worked 40+ hours, study, housework, cooking, food shops (even during lockdown when pregnant women weren't meant to go, he refused so I was shopping right up until I popped) and he will not do anything. If I said 'I'm not cooking' well none of us would eat.
He doesn't help unless I literally beg him, he won't do any housework or cooking or shopping and I literally can't leave this baby, I'm also breastfeeding and baby won't go to him for longer than 15 mins before screaming so that's always in my mind. I'm completely sleep deprived. Partner wakes up in the morning to 'get ready for work' even though he is WFH he spends 40 mins showering and doing his hair etc???? Video calls are important I guess
Anyway before falling pregnant I was close to leaving as it was so one sided, his excuse being he pays the mortgage lol. He is a workaholic and his excuse for doing F all outside of work is because he works 90 hours a week, but it's because he works and then stays in his office working all evening and weekends (despite promising me he would not work weekends when baby arrives)
There is so much I am not happy with I've contemplated leaving him a few times, honestly I love the baby and do not regret him one bit and I feel like a single mum already, what different would it be if I left? ... we aren't even a couple couple it feels as we don't hug or kiss anymore. I know it takes 2 to tango but I've begun resenting him for his lack of effort and care. He keeps telling me how tired he is in the mornings because he heard the baby a few times in the night! Even writing this is making me angry.
I don't know if lockdown hasn't helped but I honestly am at my wits end. The bins don't get done unless I go and do them and if I'm with the baby they get missed.
Can it get better? I don't know if I've gone too far over the line of bitter. We've been together 7 years now and it's mostly been him working. Problems being he is a workaholic and used to having someone do something for him his whole life.
Sorry for the rant... there's more I could say but don't want to ramble on too much.
I moaned to one friend who said 'you knew what you were getting into' so please don't say this, he wasn't like this when I fell for him.