Secure attachment bond !

[milcmxxx]

When my baby daughter was first born I had the baby blues for longer than expected, I’d say a good 6 weeks I just wasn’t interested in feeding her, changing her, anything. I was so happy to let other people do it which I now really regret :(. Around 6 weeks I fell totally in love with her and bonded, and now I don’t like anyone but me or my husband to feed her or to do the parenting tasks, people can play with her and hold her but I don’t like them to do anything else. Anyway I’m just really worried that I may have prevented forming a secure attachment bond with her because of the first few weeks of her life, will this make much difference? Don’t get me wrong I did feed and change her but if someone else offered I was just like yep go for it 😭 I’m her main care giver. I feel like she is forming it I think...she returns my smiles and only I can comfort her and soothe her successfully when she’s crying, but I still worry that I messed up in The begining!!

I’d had a really traumatic labour and was in agony for a while after so I think that’s why I felt so down afterwards. Thank you for reading!! X

The key to secure attachment is the meeting of needs. She knew that when she needed something it was taken care of. That it was someone else rather than you is not hugely relevant. This let's her build secure relationships with people. As she gets older she will realise that normally it's you and your partner.

Congrats on your baby, OP!
Attachment will keep forming and growing for months - you will be learning to respond to the new needs of your growing baby every day.
Don’t beat yourself up - I had a failed induction and an EMCS, and labours like that quite often delay bonding.
I too wish I held my little one 24/7 on those first weeks, but recognise no harm was done as I became really responsive and attached gradually - EBF, naps on me etc

I'm really sorry you went through a bad time, OP, and no, it won't have damaged your relationship with your baby. It drives me nuts that new mums are frightened into believing that if they accept help when they need it, it'll ruin the mother-baby bond. You don't have to do every single feed (unless the baby is EBF) or nappy change - that's what a support network is for.

Honestly your baby probably didnt even know it was you in the first few weeks. All she cared about was her needs being met by someone. Later down the line when she begins to recognise faces is the time when she'll associate you with having her needs met. You guys will be fine im sure!

Thank you everyone for your replies I feel a lot better and reassured :) xxx