Bedtime help toddler won’t stay in bed

[Mummykate01]

I have a 2 and half year old that I am really struggling to keep in bed at bedtime. It takes 2 hours sometimes to get him to sleep. He then gets up at 5am without fail and will not get back to bed.

He goes to bed at 7.15-30pm. He has routine of bath and stories and we do the whole tuck him in and then just put him back without eye contact or communication but it takes ages and the time rarely decreases. I feel I am being really consistent but seeing no change.

We have tried later/earlier bedtime,
Grow clock if that’s what it is called
Stair gate (he just climbs over this)
Sitting in room and distancing slowly

But nothing works.

5am is a killer and if you put him back to bed he just comes out 5 minutes late

He still has a nap in afternoon we limit this to an hour mostly. We have tried doing away with nap but if he doesn’t have it he just crashes out somewhere late afternoon anyway.

Please someone help it’s driving me.

Sorry to say it but you need to drop the nap

Drop the nap and keep him busy in the afternoon so he doesn't have chance to fall asleep

Have you tried bribery?

When we have dropped the nap he honestly just falls asleep somewhere on the floor and if we wake him up he just cries for hours and won’t eat his dinner and still fights going to bed a lot.

Yep we have tried bribery, removing toys.

It’s been going on months. It’s the 5am I am finding a killer

Will he sleep if he comes into bed with you at 5am?

Is he in his own bed? I kept mine in a cot bed till around 3.

No he doesn’t want to sleep he’s just up for the day at that time. If I bring him into bed he just jumps around. I have an 8 month old too and she normally gets a feed around 5.30am but she usually goes back to sleep straight after until 7am so it’s hard to juggle keeping putting him back to bed

Instead of napping as such how about an hour in bed with the tv/ iPad. So he gets down time without sleeping as such?

Is the 5am recent, happening us at the moment- well more like 5.30/5.45. I’m blaming the sun. Last year it was sometimes in the 4am bracket!

Have you tried something like a gro clock, and a snack in his room for when he wakes up?

Drop the nap and spend the afternoon out walking or something. It will be hard but he is obviously making up for the lost night sleep with this. And can you shut his door so he can’t get out?

Drop the nap. I have four kids. All of them had dropped the nap by age 2 because otherwise they were bouncing off the walls every evening. Just go out in the afternoon or do jigsaws or carry him around if you have to. It will take a few days but eventually it will work.

My 3.5 year old is like this still sometimes, the only thing that helped was forcing her to drop her nap, constantly watching her to make sure she stays awake and 7/10 bedtimes Are better. Even a 10 minute cat nap will mean 2/3 hours added onto her ability to stay awake for hours after bedtime. (Over an hour and she’s up till after midnight )

I remember that awful stage when mine were little. Too tired not to have a nap but not tired enough to sleep properly if they have a nap. I don't remember there ever being an answer so just went with it. At 5am we just sat them between us watching some rubbish waiting for CBeebies to come on whilst we tried to go back to sleep!

thanks so much for all the comments. It’s been so tough so reassurance is nice. I will try dropping the nap again and keep him busy. It’s going to be tough as he gets so grumpy and then naughty when he is overtired.

5am has been the last 6/8 weeks. I might try the snack idea. We try the glow clock but he doesn’t care if it hasn’t changed colour he just comes out anyway.

Drop the nap, prepare for a very painful week or so. Dropping the nap sorted Dts bedtime but I'm sorry to say they are still up at 5/5.30 every morning. They're 9!

I will say re: early wake ups, my rules tend to be
Between 4-5am you are being put back to bed
5am-6am come into our bed in silence
6am-7am come into our bed with tv on
Breakfast is never before 7.30am..

Oh and I had a gate on Dts door until they were nearly 4, at least I knew they were contained and also they played with each other which probably made life easier.

How about cutting the nap back to 35/40 minutes?

Is he active enough during the day? I would take him out for at least 2 hours just before tea.

Normally we are quite active but with this lockdown we have been in the house a lot more. Hopefully it will change and we can get back out day trips etc when they change that in Scotland.

I just don’t know where he gets his energy in such little sleep!

My 2.5yo has 30 mins max and yes he's grumpy for a good while but a biscuit and some milk and quiet time uaually works and helps him come out of it. Its hard work as he is clingy but 1hr seems rather generous in my opinion.

Thank you all for the advice. I am pleased to report now after dropping the nap he is going to bed without issue . Such a huge difference he’s also getting up slightly later about 6am which is much better too.